Since the second trimester of my last pregnancy, my then-18-month-old began slowly withdrawing from me. Nana & Dada became his favorites to the point where if he fell or hurt himself he would sooner reach for dada before he reached for me.
I quit my job so that I could enjoy the summer one on one w/my son & fortify the bond before the baby came. I figured he was sensing the change, in any case, and this was his way of letting me know he knew something was up.
Of course, now that the baby is here, the rejection has worsened. He goes to pieces when DH leaves the room or nana leaves the house without him, meanwhile I'm standing there like a big hunk of chopped liver. Intellectually I know that this kind of thing is not uncommon. But it's so hard not to let my feelings get hurt when he runs to nana & dada with open arms, but has to be coaxed into giving me a kiss goodnight.
How do you mamas split your time between two little ones? I feel like every time I sit down to spend a little one-on-one time w/the almost-two-year-old, the 3-monther needs me. It breaks my heart every time I have to stop playing blocks, or coloring, etc. to go feed the baby or bounce the baby or change the baby, etc. I feel like I'm always telling DS1 "Not now, I'm feeding/nursing, Max. Mommy can't right now, Max is sad," etc.
I use a sling or other carrier whenever possible. Also, DS1 is not terribly verbal, which makes things more challenging.
Maybe I just need to hear that my relationship w/DS1 will find its way back to me. Or maybe suggestions as to how to manage this kind of juggling act?
We used to be so close. And I'm really trying to be optimistic. But it's hard most days.
I quit my job so that I could enjoy the summer one on one w/my son & fortify the bond before the baby came. I figured he was sensing the change, in any case, and this was his way of letting me know he knew something was up.
Of course, now that the baby is here, the rejection has worsened. He goes to pieces when DH leaves the room or nana leaves the house without him, meanwhile I'm standing there like a big hunk of chopped liver. Intellectually I know that this kind of thing is not uncommon. But it's so hard not to let my feelings get hurt when he runs to nana & dada with open arms, but has to be coaxed into giving me a kiss goodnight.
How do you mamas split your time between two little ones? I feel like every time I sit down to spend a little one-on-one time w/the almost-two-year-old, the 3-monther needs me. It breaks my heart every time I have to stop playing blocks, or coloring, etc. to go feed the baby or bounce the baby or change the baby, etc. I feel like I'm always telling DS1 "Not now, I'm feeding/nursing, Max. Mommy can't right now, Max is sad," etc.
I use a sling or other carrier whenever possible. Also, DS1 is not terribly verbal, which makes things more challenging.
Maybe I just need to hear that my relationship w/DS1 will find its way back to me. Or maybe suggestions as to how to manage this kind of juggling act?
We used to be so close. And I'm really trying to be optimistic. But it's hard most days.
I'm sure it's just a phase! No words of wisdom just 
