school vs work

[rosadesal]

i currently work full time (4-5 days/wk) in retail. i recently went back to school to finish my undergrad, and have been going to school part time and working full time, while having my dd with me half the week (she is with her dad thurs pm thru sun afternoon). my current set up is to be off work mon tues weds, and i have class mon/weds afternoon. i work when she is with her dad.

however, the working full time and school part time is killing me. i really want to focus on academics and my job is driving me insane. they are not a family friendly company, so i find myself fighting stupid battles more often than i'm comfortable with. i have thought about a) finding a new job, or b) keeping my current job and asking to be part time (20-30/hrs wk at most), and making school my priority (or at least, second priority to dd).

i'm worried about how to make ends meet. how on earth do you do this, as a single parent? pay rent, car, other bills, childcare for when i'm at school, etc etc? i currently live with friends, so rent is about as cheap as it could possibly be, and i can't cut anything else out. i am taking out student loans to supplement, but i'm nervous that cutting time at work to save my sanity will cause more hardship in the end. ideally, it wouldn't, and i'd be so much happier. thoughts? how do you make it work? i'm tired of feeling like a slave to my retail job, and putting my dreams second.

words of encouragement? ugh.

[meemee]

i have completely simplified my life.

instead of putting down a lumpsum and having car payments, i used that lumpsum to buy a used car.

my bills are cut to the very minimum.

full time school without working IS doable if you want to make it doable. i live on small amount of student loans, scholarships, grants, and food stamps. however i am still in community college. i plan to start working part time in my field once i get settled in when i transfer to a university. if i needed childcare i would put my dd in an income based state funded program.

this year will be my second year back in school. last year i was constantly surprised how i was making it. so this year i know i am gonna make it. i am not going to needlessly worry about the what ifs and let my grades suffer.

woah you work full time and STILL need student loans to supplement? obama is giving out summer grants too.

hardship. hardship? hardship is alway around you. so what difference would your hardship be?!!

you can carry on like you are and give yourself some not so pretty health problems trying to deal with all the stress. not worth it in my books.

[rosadesal]

Originally Posted by meemee

i have completely simplified my life.

instead of putting down a lumpsum and having car payments, i used that lumpsum to buy a used car.

my bills are cut to the very minimum.

full time school without working IS doable if you want to make it doable. i live on small amount of student loans, scholarships, grants, and food stamps. however i am still in community college. i plan to start working part time in my field once i get settled in when i transfer to a university. if i needed childcare i would put my dd in an income based state funded program.

this year will be my second year back in school. last year i was constantly surprised how i was making it. so this year i know i am gonna make it. i am not going to needlessly worry about the what ifs and let my grades suffer.

woah you work full time and STILL need student loans to supplement? obama is giving out summer grants too.

hardship. hardship? hardship is alway around you. so what difference would your hardship be?!!

you can carry on like you are and give yourself some not so pretty health problems trying to deal with all the stress. not worth it in my books.

without getting into too much financial detail, i pay rent, my car payment, childcare (which is cheap), am paying off (not using) credit cards, car insurance, plus grocieries/etc. my student loans for this semester were $3800...and i used a good chunk of that to put towards credit cards/buy a laptop from a friend for cheap/fix the little things on my car. i'm looking at this semester that begins next week and feeling like i probably COULD make it working part time, but the thought of losing my job entirely or scrambling to find some sort of income is really scary...and that in itself frustrates me because i hate feeling like my retail job is my means of survival when it also means putting myself last....essentially i'm not getting far, and i dont want work to be my number one right now. often times it takes precedence over my daughter and that's hard. i'm sure we all feel this way at some point, those of us who do have jobs outside the home. may i ask what you are going to school for? i'm also only at community college right now and will transfer hopefully this fall to university. that brings a whole new financial battle, i guess.

summer grants? im clueless? fill me in?

i also currently share a house with my married friends and their daughter - i think in order to get food stamps, we'd have to apply as a "household" which is dumb because aside from writing rent checks and paying utilities, all of our finances are separate.

i suppose this might be more appropriate for working/student mothers, but i wanted the perspective of a single parent.

[RockStarMom]

I receive social services benefits and work as a nanny so I'm with my daughter. There are definitely huge sacrifices but it's worth it. I agree with the PP who said to simplify your life. I drive an old car that was just a few hundred dollars on Craigslist and basically all I pay for is rent, food, and gas. I was able to get full financial aid until I started the graduate program.

For food stamps and other benefits, all you need to do is say that you are renting a room and they might make you sign a statement saying that all food is purchased separately from your roommates. Don't say you're friends--they get weird about that stuff and sent a private investigator to keep tabs on me once because they thought my roommate and I were more than just roommates and were purchasing and comsuming food together.

[rosadesal]

Originally Posted by RockStarMom

I receive social services benefits and work as a nanny so I'm with my daughter. There are definitely huge sacrifices but it's worth it. I agree with the PP who said to simplify your life. I drive an old car that was just a few hundred dollars on Craigslist and basically all I pay for is rent, food, and gas. I was able to get full financial aid until I started the graduate program.

For food stamps and other benefits, all you need to do is say that you are renting a room and they might make you sign a statement saying that all food is purchased separately from your roommates. Don't say you're friends--they get weird about that stuff and sent a private investigator to keep tabs on me once because they thought my roommate and I were more than just roommates and were purchasing and comsuming food together.

what if our names are all on the lease? wouldn't they need a copy?

i had a car that was a few hundred dollars. it kept breaking, and i couldn't afford to get it fixed. the stress from having a sometimes broken car was more than i could handle.

i guess i feel like there isn't much more simplifying i can do.

[La Sombra]

Hi Rosadesal! I actually live near you and we have met! Coffee night once, you know my sister Shelley? I think our daughters are the same age? Anyway, I mention this first because you should feel free to PM me with any questions you have.

I know a lot about not working and being a full-time student but less about doing it as a single parent as I've just recently joined your ranks. I'm about to find out, I guess, how doable it is but I'm hopeful.

If you are financially needy, you should qualify for Pell Grants. On top of that, check out every scholarship that is out there. I know the community college I attended had a book of the ones that were available every semester and I applied for whatever ones I thought I could get. Another GREAT resource for me at the CC that I attended was the Women's Resource Center. They especially love to help moms, and single moms even more. I got money from them EVERY semester. I didn't have to pay a thing.

I made my grades a priority (which is hard, I know, when you are single mom and working full-time! This was not my situation when I started back at school years ago...) and got a full scholarship to the university that I attend now and now I make about $16,000 in grant and scholarship money every year. If I cash in my work-study qualifications (and convert them into a loan) that becomes $20,000 per year. I also get, through my university, a childcare subsidy that covers the total cost of my childcare! And I get food assistance.

I don't, at the moment anyway, get any kind of child support and I suspect that when I do it won't be much; STBX is also a full-time student. I also chose, like you, to have a reasonably nice car rather than a clunker that you're always dumping money into but I understand it's not the choice everyone would make. For me it felt safer; I have a long commute.

I recommend, if you haven't already, meeting with a counselor in your CC's financial aid office--this is what I did to navigate all the ins and outs and possibilities to make sure you're getting all that you can.

I would also advise that if you do decide to focus on school and cut back on your work hours that you consider realistically the job prospects for the field you are pursuing. I say that because I know so many of us have no choice but to take out loans but I think you'd hate to find yourself in a situation where you owe thousands and thousands of dollars but are pretty unemployable.

FWIW, I am pursuing a dual degree in Spanish and Chinese and I hope to get a graduate degree in public policy to work with immigrants. I LOVE my studies but I really hope they prove lucrative because I, my dd and my whole family (who help with childcare) have sacrificed a lot for me to do this!

Sorry this is kind of a novel, like I said feel free to PM and we can chat about any remaining questions you might have, or even just to commiserate! Good luck to you, girl!