sex sucks.

[ithappened]

I am 3 weeks PP and my DH and I tried to DTD last night.

I had a pretty normal vaginal birth with some small internal tearing but nothing major. My bleeding stopped about a week ago and I have been feeling great.

However the sex was not so great. . It felt sort of like I was giving birth in reverse, .. . it felt really tight and sort of painful, afterwords I started to bleed but it quickly went into spotting for the rest of the day

Are we now doomed to uncomfortable sex? and for how long? or does it get easier and less painful again?

[nummies]

At 3 weeks postpartum, I would expect sex to hurt! I gave it 6 weeks and it was still mildly uncomfy. Give it more time mama. Even though you may not be bleeding and are feeling fine in that area, you are still recovering and healing.

[kitkat5505]

Sex has always hurt the first few times after I've given birth, and each time was around 4weeks postpartum for me. But it does get better

[Juvysen]

I was too afraid to try having sex before 8 weeks postpartum after having some injuries down there. It was ok after that... but you're still pretty early at 3 weeks. With my second child I had sex around 3 weeks postpartum and it was fine, but I had no tearing at all and barely felt anything the day after giving birth. Give it a few more weeks

[gcgirl]

Not unusual! 3 weeks PP, jeez, give yourself a break!

[MegBoz]

Yeah, that's really early! Although we did manage to have some fun around 3 weeks PP without involving the old vagina.

Don't stress, it'll get much better! My MW didn't say I had any internal tearing, just a 1st degree perineal tear. At 10 weeks I still had some pain apparently due to a "skid mark" between my urethrea & clit - felt just like a rug burn or skinned knee. Totally uncomfortable!

I can't remember exactly when it was perfectly fine, but it was eventually. Just be patient.

[JorgieGirl]

Originally Posted by gcgirl

Not unusual! 3 weeks PP, jeez, give yourself a break!

Ditto, no kidding!

[mamakori]

3 weeks is very early to resume activities! I agree with the PP. Give yourself a break and let your body heal! When you're ready to give it a go again after a few more weeks of rest, remember - lubricant is your friend! You are not doomed to a horrible sex life after baby, but it can take patience, and it sounds like your body is telling you it's just not ready yet!

[Mirrormonkey]

How do you even have the energy or interest at 3 weeks pp??? I had no interest the first time around until almost 6 months pp and then that was awful!

I need some of whatever you are drinking...

[ithappened]

I need some of whatever you are drinking...

coffee and lots of it

[MiaMama]

I still had lots of lochia at 3 weeks PP. Even at 6 weeks I had not stopped bleeding yet

Even so, I had a tiny tiny labial tear that was not even painful, and was otherwise intact. Still, the first few times my husband and I tried to do anything, he felt HUGE, and I felt super tight. Not in good way.

It made me wonder about the people who worry about being stretched out. I felt like the exact opposite had happened to me.

Moving really slow (which got harder and harder for my husband the longer we waited) was the only thing that helped. It took a long time to get my engine revved for the first few months, and anything before I was really really ready was uncomfortable.

[MyBoysBlue]

There was no way I would have been having sex at 3 weeks pp and I only had skid marks no tears. I had 3 weeks of Lochia though minimal by week 3 then at 6 weeks I had my period even though I was EBF'ing DS.

I think it was closer to 10 weeks for us. A glass or two of wine helps too. For relaxation and pain relief.

[ShadowMoon]

3 weeks pp is early! We started around 6 weeks but I didn't feel comfortable or normal again until about 6 months pp. I had a natural, normal, tear free vaginal birth and still wasn't ready until then.

It will definitely get easier as time goes on. Relax and take your time. There are many other ways to be intimate with each other without intercourse Your body will let ya know when it's ready.

[APToddlerMama]

ooooh, I hurt just reading your post OP! T.I.M.E!!!!

[Friday13th]

I think we attempted it in a burst of bizarre, out of character randiness at around 3 weeks PP. It hurt so badly we didn't try again until something like 8 weeks. And even then it took a while to totally get back to normal.
Yeah, give yourself a break. I'm sure the two of you can come up with other ways to burn off steam if you're really feeling motivated.

[smeisnotapirate]

I remember sobbing the first few times we tried to DTD after DS was born - and I had a c-section and it was 8w pp. The trick for us was COPIOUS amounts of a high-quality lubricant (we used Astroglide). You're probably sore and dry from breastfeeding, too, so take that into account.

So get Astroglide, and I recommend having your fun in the bathroom for a while, because you'll need a lot. Easier clean-up.

[Storm Bride]

I agree with everyone else. Give yourself more time.

I've only had c-sections, and I've still been bleeding (lochia) at 3 weeks pp every time. I've never tried to have sex before about 5 weeks pp, and that was only once - it hurt. I don't just mean it was uncomfortable/painful from surgery - it hurt inside. I tend to give it 6-8 weeks before I try these days. DD2 is 6 months old, and our sex life is still pretty sporadic, at least with respect to intercourse.

[SwanMom]

We DTD at around 5 weeks (I had a 2nd degree tear). It hurt the first several times, but lube helped a lot. It does get better!! Also, we were intimate a lot from the start (having a baby definitely made us more in love), but it didn't involve the vagina till I felt ready.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

My husband didn't want near me at 3 weeks, he was too freaked out about witnessing the birth of our son's big head LOL (11.5 pounder!)

It took us a while to reconnect after our first baby, I was no where near ready for sex at 3 weeks pp.

[ExuberantDaffodil]

I tried at 7 weeks, and it felt awful. I had a really awesome birth, and just a tiny little "scratch" (barely could call it a tear). But it was that one spot that felt awful, especially near the end [of the six minutes ]. And I used about a half a tube of lube and stopped every minute to reapply. Tried again at 8 weeks, and yeah, still doesn't feel good. at all. hopefully soon it will stop feeling so raw.