sex sucks. - Page 2

[Serenyd]

Yeah I agree 3 weeks is too early .. btdt .. not good

[EllaMae]

I agree 3 weeks is early! Be gentle with yourself. Also KEGELS! Do them whenever you nurse the babe, or change the diaper, then they'll be part of your daily routine. This will help tone and strenthen you. Drinking teas of any toning herbs may help the suppleness of that area as well- nettles are great. Additionally did you do sitz baths w/ herbs and sea salt pp? This really helped me and my tear healed in less than 2 weeks. Even without a tear, the right combo of herbs can soothe and stregthen- comfrey, calendula, yarrow, witch hazel, and/or lavender work wonders.

My babe is almost 6 months and I still feel nervous around sex. As well as my body is saying (as it should be) no more babies! Breastfeeding keeps me dry and my desire is low. My man and I have done it a few times, beginning at 8 weeks. Go slow, lubricate, massage helps and a glass of wine are all good ways to relax.

I am concerned about one thing- you are drinking coffee and lots of it? Coffee as a diuretic will not help your body stay lubricated as a whole system which will not help your vagina. Also, as I assume you are breastfeeding I hope you are aware that caffeine goes straight in the bloodstream and thus, into your babe via your milk. In moderation caffeine is fine and probably even good for you, but not lots of it! Additionally, at 3 weeks pp your body is still healing, hormones shifting and I would hesitate to be ingesting any stimulant in large amounts- water and herbal teas are best.

[momtoS]

I would allow a minimum of 6 weeks. With my first I had stitches and they weren't healed until 9 week pp. Be easy on yourself. Tell you partner you need a massage and that's it../.........

[SublimeBirthGirl]

3 *weeks*? No wonder. I didn't enjoy sex til my period came back, 8 and 6 months postpartum, respectively. But we didn't even try til 3 months postpartum both times. Then it was not painful, but not fun.

[phatchristy]

Yeah, you had tearing and are dtd at three weeks post partum WOW!

I have done it that early before but only when I didn't have any tearing, with my first, I had a first degree tear, and it was so tight at 6 weeks and hurt. Things got better very quickly after that, and with subsequent births I had no tears and no pain afterwards.

[sharita]

Also remember hormonal changes make it um... Drier internally. Try some sort of lubricant when you are ready to try again.

[bobandjess99]

O. M. G.
3 weeks?!?!

Seriously.....you are WAY pushing yourself. It took well over 3 MONTHS with each of my kids - to even TRY.
Now, i'm not sayignthereis anythign wrong with dtd at 3 weeks pp if by some miracle it doesn't hurt and you want to, etc, but honestly..many women wait MUCH, MUCH longer.

[MJB]

I had sex at 4 and 2 weeks postpartum after my births, and the first time was really tight both times but by the second or third time, it was fine. I even notice that after a week or two without having sex at other times (without a birth!) that it is much tighter and more uncomfortable for me.
I don't think 3 weeks is too early, but you can't expect the first time PP to be comfortable. It won't suck for long. And yes, lube, lube, lube until your period comes back!