Who chooses the daycare?

[Halfasianmomma]

To those mamas who have separated/divorced and whose children went to daycare full-time, who choose the daycare? If a change of daycare was needed, does the other partner have input or legal right to refuse a change in daycare?

I'm asking because XH and I share legal custody (I guess that's the norm here unless one parent is considered incompetent or dangerous). The definition of legal custody seems to imply that both parents have input on decisions related to the child's health and education.

DD is in a super daycare right now, but since I've moved back to my parents' place, it is far for us to travel. I have chosen to leave her there because she's so happy; it's a small home daycare with 7 kids max, excellent caregivers who are very attentive and they offer a bilingual environment. It does however require 40 minutes of subway travel in the morning for me, and 25-30 minutes of car travel in the evening for my parents (they get her for me). I'd like to consider changing the daycar after DD reaches 24 months, because then it'll be easier for her to go into a larger daycare with older children, and there are tons in the area where I now live. Also, the home daycare may not offer her the stimulation she needs after 24 months...

XH would oppose this for two reasons:

• The daycare location would mean he'd have to travel further by subway to pick up DD (right now the daycare is relatively close for him).
• The daycare would most likely only be a French daycare and XH is very anti-French and is deathly afraid of DD not growing up speaking *his* language. While I do fully intend on teach DD English (it is a requirement in preschool and elementary), a closer daycare would mean less travel time for myself, my parents and DD, and it might be cheaper as well.

I wonder if he has legal grounds to do this...

[HappilyEvrAfter]

This is based on what I know of our divorce decree and could be different based on the lanugage and state of your decree...

During my periods of outlined custody I have the final say as to where DS goes for "school" aka daycare. It says we both have "exclusive decision rights" during our periods of custody excluding some outlined reasons.
While I was living close to my X I asked for his input, but I still legally had the final say.

Now, if my x wants to put him in a different daycare while DS is in his possession (i.e. summer visitation monts, anytime I'm unable to execute primary custody due to deployment), then I can rant and rave all I want but he would have legal right to have final say.

All of this is regardless of how far either of us would have to travel to interact with DS because it clearly states that the legal exchange point is my current place of residence....not daycare or school.

If it's not clearly outlined in the decree then I would consult your lawyer.

[BabyBearsMummy]

IMHO if you are going to make a change in childcare do it sooner rather then later. If I was in your postion I would begin seeking out good childcare closer to home. I cannot see the courts finding that extensive daily transit travel is in your DDs best interest if there is a closer option to her usual place of residence. Also daycare is childcare not education unless your parenting plan or court order gives specific attention to childcare it is a day to day decision and is the responsibility of the parent who is currently exercising parenting time.

[Ceinwen]

Unless you have a 'final say' clause - where if you can't reach mutual agreement, you get to make the final decision - if it turned into a real disagreement, this is something that could ostensibly go back to court for mediation. Fortunately for me, my ex doesn't have a clue about the whole daycare/school issue. The first time he saw either was about six months after the kids had started there. I think if I were to bring up switching school/daycare he'd want to know why, but he'd hardly make a fuss.