New places to sleep?

[penstamon]

Hi mamas,

I wish I had a miracle update from my last miserable thread about waking every 20-45 minutes, but unfortunately I don't. I have cut out dairy/soy, DS is seeing a highly recommended infant chiro, we are on the wait list to see the highly recommended CST, we went back to the pedi to try zantac, DS is on probiotics, we may even start solids (he has been soooo interested and enjoys tasting pears and bananas).

Anyway, DH has had it- he is pushing CIO again because we are falling apart from lack of sleep. We both agree that DS seems to wake a lot when in bed with us, hence the use of the arm's reach. But perhaps that is just too close to us too. At least it has been for us. We are so sleep deprived that we can't fall back to sleep sometimes after DS has been up for the umpteenth time. Last night we were up from 12:45- 4:00 even though DS had three 1/2 hour stints in there. We just can't sleep like this. DH assumes that DS will self soothe back to sleep easier if we are not right there stimulating him and we only go to him once he is really upset .

So, sorry for the long intro vent but talk to me about new sleep situations. We have the full size arm's reach but no crib yet. We have a two bedroom house (bedrooms next to each other) with a futon in the second bedroom. DH will not sleep in the other room or switch off throughout the night (?!*$%). The 2nd bedroom can't safely fit the arm's reach and futon.

Tell me your good and bad experiences about bassinet in the same room, pack & play in either room, moving to another room, etc. How did you feel about your mama radar? Was the distance too much or were you able to sleep soundly? Was it terrifying for your LO to wake up alone ? I am really wanting to find a compromise with DH so he does not keep angrily pushing CIO.

TIA, you all have been wonderful support

[gbutterflykissesm]

I'm sorry that you're still having so much trouble. You sound like you still have your head together, though! I'm proud of you! Can I say one thing? Solids have not been proven to help babies sleep, and if yours has any kind of digestive problems, it might not go well at all. We have recently started just a little bit of solids, not even enough to keep DS full, but already it is affecting his sleep. He just seems like he has a tummy ache more often than usual.

About sleeping arrangements and that mama instinct, it depends on how soundly you sleep. I feel more comfortable with a monigor. Do you have a monitor? Can you put the arm's reach in the other room with the futon folded up like a sofa? You might try the monitor with baby in the other room. I just posted in another thread about this, but sometimes my DS just wakes up and does this whiny weak cry for a few minutes with his eyes closed and head on the mattress while he's getting comfortable in between sleep cycles. When he was in the room with us, I would pick him up or try patting him back to sleep when he did this. Me getting involved would wake him up completely. With him in the other room, I have a video monitor that I check,and if his eyes are still closed and his head is down, I don't go in there if he makes noise. He usually goes right back to sleep on his own. If he needs something, he always opens his eyes or lifts his head. If I still had him in the room with me, I think I would still flinch at his every movement, and go to him, thus stimulating him instead of helping him sleep.

[rzberrymom]

Not sure how old he is, but have you tried swaddling him? This turned my DD's 60-90 minute stretches into 5 hour stretches. And white noise helped tremendously too. And a humidifier if we were running the central heating at night.

I hope you get it figured out!

[LadyCatherine185]

I so know where you are. We have been there for a long time.. things are starting to look up for us for the most part, now that DS is 16 mo.

Some things that have really helped DS sleep better--

white noise
blackout curtains
sleeping only in a light cotton t-shirt
bedtime routine
getting plenty of excersize throughout the day

Some things that have helped ME sleep better--

going to bed as early as possible
having DH take DS in the mornings until he goes to work (I get an extra 30-60 minutes each morning)
DH takes DS out each Saturday morning for a couple hours
getting a memory foam mattress topper (SO COMFY)
making sure I have the right temp/pillows/etc
nursing DS laying down
napping with DS during the day

I hope you find something that works for you soon.... For me, just accepting that this is how DS was made a huge difference.

Your DS could definitely be stimulated by you and your DH's presence. How about having him sleep in the other bedroom on the futon mattress on the floor? And you could go to him when he wakes up. Try it for a couple nights and see how it goes. Or, move the futon mattress into your bedroom on the floor beside your bed.

[To-Fu]

I don't really have any suggestions beyond what the awesome mamas here have already suggested. I wish I did!

Is it possible to try to get your husband to see that CIO isn't a good option at all? Have you discussed the research with him?

Unfortunately, LadyCatherine's advice is what we ended up rolling with:

For me, just accepting that this is how DS was made a huge difference.