In Dec I requested an expedited hearing for temporary orders reguarding spousal maintenence, child support and parenting time. Got into court on Dec 24th and took our entire half hour explaining to the judge our sides. He said he'd take it under advisement.
We get a copy of the minutes in the mail (which I haven't personally seen. we are on vaca in another state, a friend read it to me). I called the judges secretary to ask and although I understand she can't give LEGAL advice I wanted to know if these minutes were stating he DOES have to pay or what. I thought I understood that he DOES have to pay the amount he has willingly been paying since Sept 09. I asked "so if he doesn't pay do i come back to the court or to...." (she cut me off...one of those alimony clearing house place like the child support places??...) and she says "come back to court".
So stbx hasn't paid anything (it was once a month) and I'm on my last $20. I tell ex what i was told and he obviously doesn't want to pay. I call BACK to the secretary and she must be in a p.o.ed mood cause she it's just the minutes, it's all still under advisement etc and i start to say "well from what you said yesterday..." and she starts in on the fact that this is WHY she is not there to clarify or give advice etc. Sheesh. So now she says the minutes are just the minutes and if I want clarification I need to come back to court etc. I ask how long is this going to take to get a ruling (which i had tried to ask her yesterday if this was the ruling for alimony/child support or not) and she said 60 days. if I want i can get seen again, ask for clarification etc but it would take 6 weeks.
So WHAT ON THIS GREEN EARTH is an expedited hearing good for I ask?!!! I mean REALLY...sure I'll just tell the bills to wait, I mean hey people don't want rent money, kids don't need diapers, we don't need to have MONEY...thats silly right?! 60 days! that's 2 MONTHS. i know that's the max time but still when you ask for an expedited hearing, when your talking about (and the judge KNOWS) the only income 2 children and a pregnant mother have I think 2 months is way to much.
And not just the money but ex REQUESTED no parenting time. Which also means NO TIME OFF for me. Now yeah there's extunating circumstances (paternity) but I don't see how WHILE we are still going through the battle the MAN gets to walk away and have nothing to do with kids, responsibility, money payments, heck DIAPER changes while I have to soley care for these children and thats *OK*. ????!!!!!!!
It's not like he's been a great father anyways so I'm used to taking care of the kids 24/7/365 but as for the court saying "yeah go ahead and enjoy yourself" really irritates me. And now I'm scared for us as far as living. I know many of you single moms work etc. And I feel guilty that i am trying (and was successfully living on a minute amount of money in order to) be a student/sahm while so many of you (and others) go to work, school, and be a mom but with the economy, my pregnant status, my GED and no work history save 6 months in 5 years i don't think i'd get anything more than $8/hr around here IF i could even get hired....and then after daycare costs (i believe there's a waiting list for DES subsidized daycare here), it's unlikely working would even bring money home.
No I do not have a loan for school. I have a pell grant and was ok for last semester and only just now getting this info I am afraid it's to late to use a loan even if it was a good way to go so I'm quite worried about being homeless....and i am so saddened and stressed that all of this worry comes from one man(child) that just decides he wants to wash his hands of us and walk away.
No "fix" needed here. I just needed to get it all out. I know there is the what if's and maybes and try this and that but mostly I just need to be heard and see some "yeah that's" or BTDT (and we're still alive!) type of thing.
Love to you ladies.
We get a copy of the minutes in the mail (which I haven't personally seen. we are on vaca in another state, a friend read it to me). I called the judges secretary to ask and although I understand she can't give LEGAL advice I wanted to know if these minutes were stating he DOES have to pay or what. I thought I understood that he DOES have to pay the amount he has willingly been paying since Sept 09. I asked "so if he doesn't pay do i come back to the court or to...." (she cut me off...one of those alimony clearing house place like the child support places??...) and she says "come back to court".
So stbx hasn't paid anything (it was once a month) and I'm on my last $20. I tell ex what i was told and he obviously doesn't want to pay. I call BACK to the secretary and she must be in a p.o.ed mood cause she it's just the minutes, it's all still under advisement etc and i start to say "well from what you said yesterday..." and she starts in on the fact that this is WHY she is not there to clarify or give advice etc. Sheesh. So now she says the minutes are just the minutes and if I want clarification I need to come back to court etc. I ask how long is this going to take to get a ruling (which i had tried to ask her yesterday if this was the ruling for alimony/child support or not) and she said 60 days. if I want i can get seen again, ask for clarification etc but it would take 6 weeks.
So WHAT ON THIS GREEN EARTH is an expedited hearing good for I ask?!!! I mean REALLY...sure I'll just tell the bills to wait, I mean hey people don't want rent money, kids don't need diapers, we don't need to have MONEY...thats silly right?! 60 days! that's 2 MONTHS. i know that's the max time but still when you ask for an expedited hearing, when your talking about (and the judge KNOWS) the only income 2 children and a pregnant mother have I think 2 months is way to much.
And not just the money but ex REQUESTED no parenting time. Which also means NO TIME OFF for me. Now yeah there's extunating circumstances (paternity) but I don't see how WHILE we are still going through the battle the MAN gets to walk away and have nothing to do with kids, responsibility, money payments, heck DIAPER changes while I have to soley care for these children and thats *OK*. ????!!!!!!!
It's not like he's been a great father anyways so I'm used to taking care of the kids 24/7/365 but as for the court saying "yeah go ahead and enjoy yourself" really irritates me. And now I'm scared for us as far as living. I know many of you single moms work etc. And I feel guilty that i am trying (and was successfully living on a minute amount of money in order to) be a student/sahm while so many of you (and others) go to work, school, and be a mom but with the economy, my pregnant status, my GED and no work history save 6 months in 5 years i don't think i'd get anything more than $8/hr around here IF i could even get hired....and then after daycare costs (i believe there's a waiting list for DES subsidized daycare here), it's unlikely working would even bring money home.
No I do not have a loan for school. I have a pell grant and was ok for last semester and only just now getting this info I am afraid it's to late to use a loan even if it was a good way to go so I'm quite worried about being homeless....and i am so saddened and stressed that all of this worry comes from one man(child) that just decides he wants to wash his hands of us and walk away.
No "fix" needed here. I just needed to get it all out. I know there is the what if's and maybes and try this and that but mostly I just need to be heard and see some "yeah that's" or BTDT (and we're still alive!) type of thing.
Love to you ladies.
s
