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How does your partner feel about your scar? - Page 2

post #21 of 27
Thread Starter 
Like alternamama82 my scar on the outside is vertical from my belly button to my pubic hair. Because of the way they chose to close it and because of my weight, the staples at the top were not able to hold the wound together and I have a 1 1/2 inch raised, red, puffy, Keloid scar at the top, near my belly button that just stands out on my very pale skin. The rest is invisible. I think that if the entire thing was invisible, it wouldn't draw attention... and we wouldn't think about it every time we see it.
post #22 of 27
We have talked about this and he says very similar things to what your DH said. He couldn't believe how rough they were, tugging it open and they couldn't get the baby out, so they made the inicision bigger. He was watching from over the dr's shoulder (for some strange reason!) and at the first inicision, went up to the head of the table to see if there was any pain for me.

My scar is pretty much hidden though. I asked him to look at it through this pregnancy to see if it was doing anything weird and it wasn't. He's just as annoyed at the c/s as I am now. It took a bit of work, as in the beginning, he felt it totally necessary and the dr's were all 'right'. It's nice to have him 'on my side' so to speak.
post #23 of 27
wow....this has brought tears to my eyes.....I have never asked my hubby, and after 4 you would think that would be something I would have thought of. We have talked about so many other aspects of the sections , but .....
I was so engaged on how I felt about THE scar"s" , that I didnt really think....
Thank you for this.

post #24 of 27
I have never asked DH specifically.. I am going to now though! I'm almost certain he has no real feelings towards it. He is very much hoping we can do a VBAC this time but he isn't emotionally hurt by my c-section the way I am. It also helps that the scar is nearly invisible plus it's conveniently hidden under my lovely stretched out belly flab. :P
post #25 of 27
It also brought tears to my eyes reading that... But it's fairly similar to how my dh talks about the experience... Not so much the scar. Once in a while we will look at it and comment on it, but it really hasn't been an issue for either of us... The c-section however was very difficult for my DH because as a pp said, he felt COMPLETELY helpless and never has seen me in any position like that before. He specifically was very unsettled by how rough they are and when the set the placenta (I'm assuming, I don't really know what it was) on my stomach and such. However, this may seem weird, but we are really avid hunters and are very familiar with the anatomy of the animals we harvest. So, we have had numerous discussions about it utilizing our knowledge as a basis for "comparison".
I would say that you are lucky your dh shared his feelings, and hopefully the two of you can work through it together.
post #26 of 27
Oh wow, that response would upset me too. I've never asked my DH what he thought of it until just now and his response was "I don't even notice it."

My scar is small and very straight. I even got a bikini wax and the lady didn't notice it until I pointed it out. Plus, DH wasn't allowed to look over the curtain, so I'm sure that helps.
post #27 of 27
Thread Starter 
When he left the OR to take our son to the Nursery, he wouldn't allow the nurses to carry Alex... I always thought that was because he was concerned with bonding since I wouldn't be allowed to for an hour... but he told me today that it was because he was not going to allow them to "manhandle" Alex the way he saw them treating me. He was PROTECTING our son from abuse he thought would happen because the OR team's methods of doing the cesarean.

This has been a very emotional time for us as a couple. We have been working through memories and issues that I didn't even realize existed for him!
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