I'm not ready to keep my house clean yet, and its getting bothersome :( EDIT: Maybe I am ready? - Page 3

[flowmom]

It wasn't until I let go of any expectation of dh helping that things started improving around our home. It took more energy to feel upset that he wasn't helping than it did to actually get the housework done. And it has never worked to rely on him for any household task :.

[applecider]

I didn't read all the replies, but I wanted to let you know you are so not alone! I just came out of probably a mild depression where I didn't WANT to clean the house and I would only slightly do what was absolutely necessary when it was out of control. I will tell you, I started taking some supplements on a regular basis (vit d, multi vit and cod liver oil) and since then (and since the holidays are over) I want to clean my house! It's crazy, I never thought I would want to and I have been keeping the kitchen clean consistently for a week now. Crazy.

So I can relate, especially when one tells you, just do it. For me, it's like, but how? It seemed like it was taking energy that I did not have to just get up and bring a dish to the kitchen. Now I have more so much more energy. So maybe think about how you're feeling physically and try to get nutritionally and mentally ok before embarking on some major cleaning mission.

[greenmansions]

I tend to be a perfectionist, and often feel like if I can't get it all done and perfect then why even start. My SIL told me just to ask myself when I'm doing something, "Is it better than it was?" and live with that mantra, rather than trying to do it all at once or get it perfect. It helps a lot for me when I remember that.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by greenmansions

I tend to be a perfectionist, and often feel like if I can't get it all done and perfect then why even start.

I have this problem, too. and since I don't have a good organization set up for my closet, it takes me FOREVER to get through folding laundry (it just sits there). It's ridiculous, and I know it, but I look at it and think "well, if I do that, now, it's just going to be all slouchy on my shelves and I'll never find anything..."

But then I'm also frozen on *how* to reorganize my closet so it'll work better for me, because what if I spend all that money to do it and it's not good...

Perfectionism sucks when it holds you back.

[ArtsyMomma]

I would suggest focusing on one room at a time. When that room is clean/decluttered/organized and you can maintain that on a daily basis - then move on to the next room. Skimming off the top of the clutter/mess in the other rooms is a good idea, at least you are doing something, but it won't give you the same sense of accomplishment as having one nice clean room.


A large bottle of vinegar lasts me about 6 months. I use vinegar to clean with all the time too!

My window/glass cleaner recipe
(I picked up some large spray bottles at the dollar store - 32 oz - my recipe fits perfectly)

1/3 c white vinegar
1/4 c rubbing alcohol
3 1/2 c water

For multi purpose cleaning, I use ecover. One capful diluted with water in a 32 oz spray bottle. For hard to clean stuff I use the ecover undiluted or I'll use a magic eraser.

I use baking soda to scrub things - or a combo of baking soda and vinegar for really yucky stuff (hey, science is fun!)


To clean wood

1 c olive oil
1/3 c lemon juice

I put this mixture in a smaller bottle since it can't be stored. I make up a fresh batch before I polish my furniture.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by greenmansions

I tend to be a perfectionist, and often feel like if I can't get it all done and perfect then why even start. My SIL told me just to ask myself when I'm doing something, "Is it better than it was?" and live with that mantra, rather than trying to do it all at once or get it perfect. It helps a lot for me when I remember that.

That's what I try to say too. Even if you just make your bed, it makes the bedroom look better than it was. And sometimes it gives you that little push to do something else, like clean off the dresser or nightstand.

[Kivgaen]

Originally Posted by Juvysen

I have this problem, too.

Me too!! I start doing a task and then get all focused on it until it's "perfect", and then I never get anything else done.

I did this today when I de-cluttered my front closet. I have to remember to use my timer more often. I used to do this, I would set a goal for myself: I'm going to do this task for ONLY 15 minutes... or 30 minutes, or whatever. I set the timer, and then work as fast as I can.

Then the hard part comes -- The timer goes off, and I have to STOP!! put all of my tools away and quit there. DON'T KEEP WORKING! I could spend hours at a time doing a task and never be finished until I was exhausted -- then I burn out and dont feel like doing anything for a week! Using the timer helps me to modify my goals. Instead of my goal being to "clean the kitchen", my goal is to "work in the kitchen for 30 minutes" -- that's easy enough to do, and I almost never "fail" at that goal.

[mykdsmomy]

OP, I just wanted to jump in and say that 1. You just had your first baby less than a year ago.....this is a HUGE life adjustment. Give yourself some grace here You should have seen the apt we lived in after dd14 was born. Nothing was organized and it looked like Babies R Us blew up in our living room!

I would also recommend getting your thyroid tested and your Vit D levels. You may be deficient in some areas and that may be causing what sounds to be a slight depression?

Anyway....you're not alone in your struggles. As I type this, I have a room full of stuff that needs to be put away. Good luck and remember baby steps

[magrat]

How's it going? Get anything done today? You should print off your first post, hang it up, and whenever you do something mentioned in there black it out. Then come in here every day to tell us what you've done.

I find I can get a lot more done when I have someone to tell about my accomplishments, even if I just list them in my head to myself at the end of the day. Keeping a two bedroom apartment clean is *tough*. You'd think because it's a smaller space it would be easier, but it is definitely not - it's so hard to find home for things. I definitely understand how easy it is to feel overwhelmed and just give up. But I do feel that every year that goes by I manage a little bit better.

[simonboy'smommy]

Oh, goodness. I know how you feel-only I live in a big farm house. Problem is, even though there is more space, I've let all the space fill up. Anyway, sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. I know how that is.

I am 8 weeks post partum so I'm starting to feel a lot better. I didn't do real with the house last year with being preg and not feeling good. I'm ready to get to work on it now.

You should definitely check out Flylady. Just make sure you actually put her ideas into practice! Her program gives me a place to start otherwise I'd just give up and not know where to start or what to do.

It helps me tremendously to start in one area of a room like a corner and clean that first and then move on to the next area. I need to see results quickly or I get discouraged. Also, I have to make sure that I stop and sit down for 5 minutes and get a good drink of water. Otherwise I just keep on working for hours and wear myself out. I've come to realize that the house will get much better, but I will never run out of things to clean. So I have to just schedule time to get out of the house or go for a walk regardless of what I still need to get done. If I don't take breaks or take time to do other things I get real depressed about it all and I've even come down with colds before from wearing myself out. It's rediculous!

Anyway, hope things are going ok for you. It'll get better Just keep working at it and don't be hard on yourself.

[Amatullah0]

Update

Originally Posted by magrat

How's it going? Get anything done today? You should print off your first post, hang it up, and whenever you do something mentioned in there black it out. Then come in here every day to tell us what you've done.

I find I can get a lot more done when I have someone to tell about my accomplishments, even if I just list them in my head to myself at the end of the day. Keeping a two bedroom apartment clean is *tough*. You'd think because it's a smaller space it would be easier, but it is definitely not - it's so hard to find home for things. I definitely understand how easy it is to feel overwhelmed and just give up. But I do feel that every year that goes by I manage a little bit better.

so far, i've gotten the garbage out. there's one box left, but i'm gonna put some unused clothing in it, and stick it in the closet. most of the laundry is done. i've folded all of the clothes, theres just a pile of sheets/shawls left to fold, and all of the clothes that get hung up(about 2 baskets full). but now its time to do laundry again and it probably wont get done, because theres a ton of snow, and we have to walk to the laundry. DH wont let me go do it, and he probably wont do it until there is a TON more, which will lead to not doing the laundry until there is too much to put away, etc.

so now we have a nice big space on the floor in our room, that makes me feel like it is cleaner. we cleared off the dresser a little today too. BUT, all of the folded clothes(except for baby's clothes) are on the floor, waiting to get put away.

the bathroom is still clean!

i just cleaned the kitchen! i either washed all of the dishes or put them in the dishwasher(the dishwasher is running now). theres still a pizza pan with some stuck on stuff that wouldn't scrub off for me, so i'm gonna have to do it tomorrow. DH also vacuumed half of the living room(the other half has the clothes that still need to be taken care of in it)

i still have to:

-put away laundry
-do another load(or 2) of laundry <-- laundry is a big one for me. its tough because we let it pile up. it piles up easily because the laundry is coin laundry(we don't always have the coins/they don't have a change machine in the laundry area) and we need to walk the laundry to the place. its tough for me to do it, because of DS, and now because its so cold, and its tough for DH to do, because he works full time, and is in school full time.
-fold the 'nother load
-make the office/spare room "perfect" i.e. tidy it up.
-dismantle the box for the desk that is still sitting in my living room(theres a bunch of pieces in there still,
-pick up the mess that DS made in the living room
-organize the closet so my scarves/shawls will fit on the shelf, and i can move them from the floor
-find a place for the extra comforter and the heater blanket that live on the bedroom floor. we sometimes use those, and i feel like they are constantly being taken out and left there.(we decide we need them in the middle of the night, half asleep.
-clean up/throw away a lot of junk in our bedroom
-clean out the many junk drawers around the house
-declutter everything else (so overwhelmed when i think about this one!)
-talk DH into getting rid of our broken bedframe(i haven't mentioned this to him since it broke in a few different places at once and i convinced him to take it down and gently suggested we toss it)

we have a stroller in our living room. its lived there since we took it out of the trunk of our car. we're saving it "in case" we go to the zoo or something, even though 1. its winter now, and we wont be going until it warms up, 2. i usually wear DS, and 3. its super bulky(from one of those travel systems). His (expired) bucket lives on top of the folded up stroller next to the door. we need to throw the bucket now, so thats on my list too i guess

ok, i'm gonna make a goal now. i'm going to have all of the cleaning(no cutting corners, but not including decluttering, though some is probably bound to happen) by friday.

DH is so attached to certain things. i.e. the bed frame, gifts people gave us for our wedding(though we have multiples/unneeded items), schoolwork that his siblings did while they were living with him(there was a period where he was put in the position of "father" while his brothers lived with him and his mom and dad lived overseas, blankets and sheets that are perfectly fine, but take up too much space, and we have no need for them, etc. i don't know how to get him to give up some of this stuff. i probably have an equal amount of stuff to get rid of though... thats part of whats preventing me from decluttering i guess... that DH NEEDS to do it with me. he caught me throwing out something that his mom sent us for DS, a diaper stacker or something. i mean, she made it, but we don't have a use for it. i had to rescue it from the garbage, and just because we have NO use for it, (we do use 'sposies, but we keep them in a drawer) i put it in the box with the clothing that doesn't fit DS anymore(that i'd like to save for the next DC) its not a very big box, and it will fit in the spare room closet once i re-organize it.

i need to focus on cleaning though, not decluttering, not yet anyway

oh, and thank you for that recipe for cleaning solution. how big of a bottle of vinegar are you talking about though? i was gonna get some from sams club, don't remember how big the bottle was though...

[LaughingHyena]

I'm easily overwhelmed if there is too clutter to move before I can start cleaning. My personal pet hate is all the pieces of toys that I find around the house. You know the lone duplo brick or car or whatever that we missed when picking them up.

Anyway I have set myself a couple of "challenges"
The first is that when I enter a room, if I see a stray item I put it in its proper place then. It doesn't usually take long and it stops it bugging me.

The second is that (especially in the kitchen) I will fill the spare time while I'm waiting for something by wiping something down. I can get quite a way through wiping down the kitchen cupboard doors while I wait for the kettle to boil.

Last year I set myself the target that every time I entered our storage space in the loft I would find one things to get rid of, be it freecyled or thrown away. I was amazed how much difference it made after a couple of months.

I like the 15 minutes cleaning then take a break too.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by LaughingHyena

I'm easily overwhelmed if there is too clutter to move before I can start cleaning. My personal pet hate is all the pieces of toys that I find around the house. You know the lone duplo brick or car or whatever that we missed when picking them up.

Anyway I have set myself a couple of "challenges"
The first is that when I enter a room, if I see a stray item I put it in its proper place then. It doesn't usually take long and it stops it bugging me.

I usually bring a little basket or bucket with me to put these random pieces in and then when I'm done with what I'm doing I go around and re-distribute the pieces to where they go. Otherwise I get totally sidetracked and never finish with what I had in mind first

[SuzyLee]

You can still declutter a little at a time. The cleaning won't get easier until you have less to clean up!

[accountclosed3]

if your second room is truly a spare room, how about creating it into a storage room or closet/dressing room?

find inexpensive shelves, dressers, clothing racks, whatever, and organize the room in that way. things like the stroller/bucket, etc, can easily go in there and will be out of sight and mind until you are ready to purge.

sometimes, we aren't ready to purge our belongings. by organizing them and giving them a home, though, you'll know where they are and wont feel saturated by stuff.

one of my friends is a professional home organizer. while part of the process is purging (and instead of garbage, consider recycling through a thrift store or selling via craigs list), the other part is simply organizing what you have in a way that makes sense for you.

when she helped my mother, my mother wasn't letting go of anything at all. it was amazing how much *stuff* my mother has. but we organized it and put it in a spare room, in which we had put shelves that we found at a thrift store (the wire/chrome kind often used in kitchens) for very little money. we used boxes from local stores and made labels for each box.

when she moved, it was easy for her to move, and it was also easier for her to purge.

good luck, though. sounds like you're doing great!

[doubledutch]

i used to feel a lot like your dh, but i was moved by the idea that it's wrong for me to hold on to so much when there are people in need of those items. granted, i don't go out and find those people (i just give it to gw . . . which gives people jobs!) but you could, by donating to the women's shelter or a homeless shelter.

[missmich]

I agree that you can still declutter a little each time that you clean.

When folding laundry you can see a shirt and decide you will donate it and toss it right into the donate box instead of putting it away to do later.

It sounds like you have made some great progress and figured out what you need to do.

Today I'm feeling quite lazy and am really forcing myself to do one little 2 minute job each time I get up. All I want to do is take a nap!

[purslaine]

Watch Hoarders on A&E. Have DH watch it, too. It will make you want to keep clutter in check. Seriously, it really does motivate me to keep on top of things.

I must admit I am a little confused by focusing on cleaning rather that decluterring, first. Imagine a shelf - you have a pile of stuff on it - you pick it up, clean the shelf, and reput the clutter back... Imagine doing that around the house. If people try to clean without declutterring they end up spending a lot of time moving piles around. It is depressing. It makes cleaning harder - and the house never truly looks clean with lots of extra stuff in it.

A really positive activity is to visualise what you want your room to look like. If you have the enrgy - take everything cluttery out of the room and only put back what you visualise there.

[LaughingHyena]

I usually bring a little basket or bucket with me to put these random pieces in and then when I'm done with what I'm doing I go around and re-distribute the pieces to where they go. Otherwise I get totally sidetracked and never finish with what I had in mind first

I know this works well for a lot of people, however I have 2 baskets of stuff that I can see from here are random bits I've picked up before guests arrived for New Years Eve and they are still here

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by LaughingHyena

I know this works well for a lot of people, however I have 2 baskets of stuff that I can see from here are random bits I've picked up before guests arrived for New Years Eve and they are still here

... you have the opposite problem! Well, that happens to me, too, but at least it's not scattered everywhere and I got whatever the main goal was accomplished!