It's working!!

[puddle]

The other day, DD got mad at me. She yelled, "NO!" and raised her hand up to hit me. And then, still angry, she put her hand back down. All by herself! She's learning not to hit! Without timeouts or spankings or yelling. Clearly, she has received the message. So now I just have to wait for her impulse control to finish catching up. Whenever I start doubting myself and wondering if I really know what I'm doing, DD shows me that following my instincts and trusting her and respecting her is working.

[nd_deadhead]

How wonderful!

It worked for us too. At 15, my twin boys are polite, respectful, and they are willing to talk to us about anything and everything (even if they know it's something we might not want to hear).

Last week we went on a ski trip with some friends. Our two boys and their two boys shared a bedroom. One morning the other Dad went into the bedroom to wake up the boys by flashing the lights and shouting "Rise and shine!" I usually wake my kids up by gently patting them on the arm and quietly saying their names. At first I didn't realize why his approach raised my hackles, until I realized that *I* would hate to be awakened that way! It was totally disrespectful.

When we treat our children the way WE want to be treated, we're more likely to end up with children that trust us and respect us.

[heathermarie73]

puddle I cant seem to find any post about how you worked with her on learning not to hit or what was going on. Can you help me. I have been trying for a while to get my DS to stop hitting and he has actually started biting now. I asked the pedi for advise and she just lectured me on how I need to take control or I wont have any control over him. It made me feel horrible. He is 3.5 this started around when his baby sister was born. I thought it was getting better but then it got worse. Otherwise his is a remarkable kid. He is just very reactive when it comes to emotions. Always on the go, excitable, sensitive I guess. This is also me in a nutshell. He just doesnt seem to have the vocabulary to talk through things yet. or gets frustrated when he tries and doesnt get results.

[puddle]

Sorry you're going through this, mama. It's tough!. What's working for us is just being vigilant and consistent. Every time she tries to hit, we stop her and either redirect her to hit something else (Hit the pillow!) or remind her that we only use gentle touches. I know saying "don't hit" can be confusing for some kids, but that seems to help her too. The main problem is that DD still doesn't have a lot of self control, so when she gets mad, it's really hard to stop that impulse. I know now that she knows she shouldn't hit, and she's getting a lot better at stopping, but it's a really hard impulse to control. For my DD, I know that at this point, all I can really do is keep doing what I'm doing and wait for her to keep maturing and growing in self control.

Your doctor told you to take control or you'll never have control over your kid, but that really isn't something I ever want. I want my DD to be in control of herself. The idea of controlling another person sort of creeps me out. I'm hear to guide her while she walks, not drag her or push her where I want her to go, you know?