Boundaries

[First Time Mama]

So I feel like my son (2 yrs) needs me to set some boundaries, as he is testing me with several behaviors. Getting him to sleep has been taking all evening. It's nurse, sing, talk, nurse some more, repeat. I want to night wean, but when I tried two months ago for a few nights it did not go well. Has anyone successfully nightweaned and kept a family bed? Or did you move your child out of the family bed? We have a queen and a twin matress on the floor next to each other. The idea was to have sort of a separate bed for him, but usually he ends up right next to us. My mom thinks I should gently set some boundaries and get him a bed and pillow, blanket etc, (have him help pick it out) and set up a bed in his room. And just keep bringing him back to it, when he wakes up. I don't know if it's too much to move him into his own room and stop night nursing, I would just separate the matresses in our bedroom but there really isn't any room, they take up almost the whole floor. I don't mind nursing him to sleep initially, or in the morning upon waking, but I am starting to get resentful of the nursing during the night, and I don't want to feel that way, or to have our nursing end on a bad note. But it's hard to hear him cry. I have had a conversation with DS and told him that mommy needs her rest at night and nummies go to sleep and he can nurse when it's light out. I expect there to be tears tonigt though. I think I need to set some consistent boundaries and deal with lack of sleep for awhile. Right now, he's napping on the matress in his playroom, and I am debating wheater I should put him to sleep in that room tonight and try to get him to sleep there. I'm afraid maybe it's too sudden and I don't want him to feel abandoned or traumatized. I could listen for him and wake up everytime he does and go to him. But maybe if he isn't next to me all night he will sleep longer. I really need help with disclpline too, I want to do GD, but I don't really know how to go about it. DS doesn't listen well when I tell him no, and I'm not sure without time out or bribing or something how to get him to listen. This whole disclipline thing is new to me, my first child. I have some idea of what I want to do, but don't know how to put it into practice or what will work best with him.

[Maluhia]

I'd suggest the No Cry Discipline Solution for your questions in that area, and maybe another post in the GD forum.

We kept a family bed and nightweaned BUT my DD stopped the overnight nursing on her own and we talked in the daytime about how "going to sleep milk" and "waking up milk" would be for "two ABCs" and I'd softly sing the ABCs twice to her while she nursed and she understood that is how long we'd nurse. We got into a cuddle time post-that where she fell asleep. That being said the falling asleep part has a bit of a regression when pulling out the nursing at that time.

It sounds like your gut is telling you not to push the issue, you can see where your little one is sensitive and you don't want him to feel "abandoned" - trust your gut