or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting the Gifted Child › What was your child like as an infant?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

What was your child like as an infant?

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
My five year old is gifted, but also has Asperger's Syndrome. Well, my sister now has an infant son now who seems busier than usual for a child his age. Comparing him and my oldest son is difficult, because I don't know how much of his challenging infancy was due to autism, and how much was due to giftedness. Her son seems 100% neurotypical, but we're just doing some day dreaming.....wondering if he may be gifted, also. He *is* completing all his milestones early, but we all know that may not necessarily mean anything.

Anyway, its all in fun, but I just wondered if your gifted child was also a "high-needs" baby?
post #2 of 47
One of my two gifted girls was very high needs as a baby. She has some degree of SPD, but not enough such that we have sought therapy for her and she does seem to have outgrown some of the obvious sx of SPD as she's gotten older.

My younger dd was a very mellow, easy going baby. She woke up a few times a night and all, but didn't scream constantly. She was an early speaker (two word phrases by 5.5 months), but otherwise nothing indicated that she was out of the norm. She is still less noticable as gifted although she seems to be in terms of IQ scores and sometimes achievement scores.

My older dd was a nightmare of a baby (sorry kiddo!). She slept in 30 min intervals at best until she was around 18mos-2 yrs and screamed constantly. She had severe stranger anxiety from the time she was a newborn. If I looked away from her or anyone else got close to her, she was hysterical. She had to be held and nursed constantly. She totally stopped napping btwn 16-18mos and threw amazing huge tantrums until around 4. The neighbors thought that I was abusing her b/c she screamed so much and in such a high pitched tone. She's 11 now, though, and a great kid who doesn't cause me much trouble at all. She is also clearly quite gifted (IQ wise, in terms of very high achievement, and just being obviously very different from the norm). She also is definitely not on the autism spectrum although I do suspect that some of her intensity and lack of sleep as a little one were due to intense reactions to sensory input.
post #3 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristaN View Post
She had severe stranger anxiety from the time she was a newborn. If I looked away from her or anyone else got close to her, she was hysterical. She had to be held and nursed constantly.
Wow, sounds like my baby dd!! She is slightly better now but I still get the comments on how attached she is to me and how frantic she gets when I'm gone!! I was going out of my mind for a while there!! Now she chases me around with books to read to her, she needs lots of attention and interaction. She clearly has her favorites...her favorite book is Five Little Ladybugs and she likes Dora and Diego. She "answers" their questions and claps and sings along with them. She also tries to repeat the stuff they say. Gives me a break at least!! She is definitely a high needs baby. Of course I have no clue if she's gifted but I strongly suspect her sister is moderately gifted....

But I can't remember how her sister was as a baby for some reason. Definitely nothing like little dd!!

ETA: Older dd stopped consistently napping at 27 months. Baby dd is starting to lose her morning nap (sigh).
post #4 of 47
my 1st dd was very high needs til she taught herself to go from her hands and knees to sitting at 4 1/2 months. from there she quickly learned to crawl. at that time she became much more pleasant. she was always a busy child and didn't like to be in one place for too long. she was cruising at 6 1/2 months and walking at 8 months. she would get up every 2-3 hours at night til she was 9 months old.

my 2nd dd was worse when it came to sleep. she would get up every 2-3 hours (some nights even more frequently) and would NOT go back to sleep. we're talking at 8 months old. i tried every single sleeping arrangement i could think of and she didn't like any of it. it was a rough first year. she was just like her sister when it came to getting around. she didn't like to stay put for long and go places. that's when they were the happiest.
post #5 of 47
dd cried and screamed almost nonstop until she was 8-9 months old. Very high needs, constant GI problems, and she was overstimulated very easily. Only 3 people could hold her without her freaking out. That was me, dh, and my mom. I would like to say that she was a happy baby, but she was just miserable.
post #6 of 47
I have twin DDs. They were premature and also have other health concerns, so that may play into it as well.

DD1- high needs baby, had reflux and was often uncomfortable- but smiley. Fought naps and very physically active. Later end for talking, but never babbled- went straight to words. Strong desire for books/writing-- she had a lot of frustration when infant/toddler to communicate her needs. Wrote her name very early and is artistically talented.Started hitting milestones on-time or early after 18 months. Very intense dominant personality- very 'busy'. At 4 she is constantly talking, very social and was an early reader/writer.

DD2- mellow, but easily overstimulated. Watched/studied everything as an infant. Late on gross motor milestones (due to mild CP). Would cry and rage if 'too' much was going on or we pushed her limits for activity or skipped on sleep/naps. She still craves her sleep and sleeps more than average (still naps at 4). She is now very reserved, but not shy. Excells in verbal skills and language- was an early reader. Very creative and a deep thinker. She spends a lot of time processing her world. She would most likely be considered 2E.

Two kids- both most likely gifted. Exact same age--- very different as infants/toddlers.
post #7 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey's mom View Post
dd cried and screamed almost nonstop until she was 8-9 months old. Very high needs, constant GI problems, and she was overstimulated very easily. Only 3 people could hold her without her freaking out. That was me, dh, and my mom. I would like to say that she was a happy baby, but she was just miserable.
Do we have the same kid? Except, my dd didn't like to be held by anyone for any length of time, she definitely was not a cuddly baby.

I was going to answer with one word: crazy! until I read your post. Ainsley did not meet physical milestones early, but her speech development was early and things like object permanence came much earlier then normal.
post #8 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Mama! View Post
Do we have the same kid? Except, my dd didn't like to be held by anyone for any length of time, she definitely was not a cuddly baby.

I was going to answer with one word: crazy! until I read your post. Ainsley did not meet physical milestones early, but her speech development was early and things like object permanence came much earlier then normal.
We just might have twins lol.. my daughters speech development was early.. talked before she could walk! She crawled at 10.5 months, and walked at 13 months.

Here is Kailey at 14 months.. I love this video, it's hilarious http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7jdO4c1Umo

Here she is at 11 months http://s77.photobucket.com/albums/j6...eyreading2.flv
post #9 of 47
Not high needs at all.

I often got comments on what a calm easy going baby both of mine were. The 6 1/2 year old is confirmed gifted and he was the calmer of the two. He had some issues with not wanting to sleep by himself that made naps at daycare an issue. But that is the only real challenge I remember with him. He hit all his milestones at the average time except for talking. His first word was at 9 months. Once he started talking he never stopped and once he hit the toddler age he was go go go and hard to keep up with. But as an infant he was calm as could be. I remember taking him to a party for a friends thesis defense in college and several people didn't even know I had a baby with me until he was ready to eat.
post #10 of 47
Bean & Boobah were both fairly easy babies, though Bean was constantly busy. He talked, flirted, giggled, did just about anything he could to get attention from people from a very early age. Boobah was a watcher, quiet and contemplative. She acted quickly and decisively when she did, and without regard to other people (contrary to Bean, whose actions always seemed designed to get attention from other people). Bella was more work than her siblings and was definitely the neediest of the kids, though I wouldn't call her overwhelmingly high-needs. Bear's been a pretty calm, happy fellow when he's not sick. I'm pretty sure that all four of them are gifted. Different personalities, different small people.
post #11 of 47
Another high needs baby here! DD was super high needs from birth, very alert, very active. She was definitely not cuddly, had to be held certain ways, studied everything. I used to get so sick of people's comments that she was "scowling" at them because she almost never smiled or giggled at people, just looked intensely at them. She was very opinionated from birth and had an amazing memory from early on. At 4 she still remembers something that happened when she was 6 months old. She babbled late but pretty quickly went straight to words, and then she went for the longest time without stringing words together when, boom!, within a week she was telling long stories. It was weird. She never crawled, just walked. As a baby she insisted on being hopped where she wanted to go because she wouldn't crawl, so we did that until she started walking holding our hands at 9 months. At age 4, she still wakes at least once at night, sometimes more, and this is a huge step for us. Sleep has always been bad around here. She is the lightest sleeper I've ever known, even with dark shades AND a sound machine.
post #12 of 47
DD was not exactly textbook high-needs, but extremely observant and alert and very particular. Not cuddly, always wanted to face out when being held. Very outgoing, always wanted to be where the action was. (All this is still true today.) Since she was born, she's exuded confidence and intensity and has always very much wanted to be older and more powerful than she is.

DS was a very pleasant baby, happy to ride in the sling for hours, facing in, out, whatever. Mild, not a crier. Occasionally a bit timid, and didn't like loud noises. He has a lovely, easy personality as a toddler and has a wonderful attention span (DD has always had this as well). I'm not sure he's as gifted as his sister, but he's certainly a sharp little fellow.

Having a second child did a lot to convince me that the first one's difficult aspects were not solely a product of my dysfunctional inadequacies.
post #13 of 47
My kids were all pretty darn placid and easy to manage. However, most people would have considered at least some of them high needs.

They slept little. My eldest has never slept more than 10 out of 24 hours, and as an infant she never slept more than 2.5 hours at a stretch. My youngest didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 and a half. None of my kids would consent to being "put down for a nap."

Maybe I was a nut, but I just did what they seemed to need, and I accepted it as normal. I carried them and slept with them and nursed them every 1-3 hours until they were toddlers -- or older. And as long as they were skin to skin with me, or close to it, 24 hours a day, they were placid.

Miranda
post #14 of 47
DS got bored really easily as a baby. He needed to constantly be doing something. We spent a lot off time wandering around the mall with him in a sling, so he could look at people and stuff. He loved going to choir practice with me and never made a peep (it amazed the whole church.)

He met all his mile stone early, particularily verbal ones. The physical on tended to be a couple of weeks early, but speech was months ahead.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ladonnaken View Post
Her son seems 100% neurotypical,
Gifted isn't exactly neurotypical. It comes with its own set of challenges and differences. Some of those overlap with and can be mistaken for issues such as LDs, ADD/ADHD or autistic spectrum. For example; simple precocious reading being mistaken for hyperlexia.
post #15 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
And as long as they were skin to skin with me, or close to it, 24 hours a day, they were placid.

Miranda


I remember mommy and me class when DS was three months old and we were supposed to name our child's favorite activity. Everyone mentioned some actual activity, to do with a toy or something. DS's was "being carried around and looking". Being upright helped with his GI issues, too. So did being attached to the boob, apparently. It gave me aslipped disk and spinal surgery, though!
post #16 of 47
My kids are moderately gifted, and were pretty calm babies in their own environment. They were also both very easily overstimulated. Neither napped very well, but it wasn't awful.

Ds was alert from birth - even the nurses at the hospital commented on it. He got stranger anxiety early and intensely about 4 mos. He was an observer and really liked to watch. He gave up naps early. He hated being worn so he couldn't see (and only tolerated being worn when he could look out). He does have sensory issues, and I think that contributed to his dislike of being worn.

Dd was a pretty happy go lucky kid as long as she was in contact with someone. She needed full body contact to sleep. When awake she was happy and cheerful and an easy baby. She's a lot more high needs at 5 then she ever was at 5 mos!
post #17 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
My kids were all pretty darn placid and easy to manage. However, most people would have considered at least some of them high needs.

They slept little. My eldest has never slept more than 10 out of 24 hours, and as an infant she never slept more than 2.5 hours at a stretch. My youngest didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 and a half. None of my kids would consent to being "put down for a nap."

Maybe I was a nut, but I just did what they seemed to need, and I accepted it as normal. I carried them and slept with them and nursed them every 1-3 hours until they were toddlers -- or older. And as long as they were skin to skin with me, or close to it, 24 hours a day, they were placid.

Miranda
My two are the same. Although DS is much "easier" than DD but I often wonder if that's just my greater experience. DD was actually high needs by the Sears' definition but it wasn't until she was over two that I realised. I always heard the term being bandied about and thanked my lucky stars because I couldn't imagine working harder than I already did meeting DD's needs. Then slowly I realised that actually not all babies were as fussy as her and shortly after she turned two I happened accross the Sears' description of high needs and went "aha"
I view DS as far more neurotypical than DD but that's more of a milestone thing than a fussiness thing, meeting milestones in the "correct" order such as crawling before sitting etc etc
post #18 of 47
DS (13.5yo and confirmed hg) was a very easy going baby but grew to be very sensitive and still is. He seemed to become more needy as he got older. Only my mother and I connected with ds in a way that made him feel most comfortable with the two of us. He was much more relaxed with us but I think my mom and I bonded with ds in a way that no one else did.
DS reached most milestones early and didn't read until 7yo but was able to add multiple multi digit numbers in his head around age 5yo-ish.

DD (3.5) was also a very easy going baby but has grown to be very sensitive. She does not like her day being altered in any way. OE's are an almost constant thing around here so I would say she has also grown to be more needy as she's gotten older. DD is very connected to me and only me. When she reaches her limit for the day the only person who can calm her is me.
DD also reached most milestones early. She sat up at 4 or 5mo, crawled around 6mo, but didn't walk until 14mo-ish. I think the "delayed" walking is due to the fact that she decided she was going to perfect some fine motor skills and would sit for long periods of time stringing lacing beads starting around 7 or 8mo.

DS2 (3weeks) is easy except when he's tired. He won't nurse, won't calm down, and cries for a good 20 minutes and then passes out for 2-3 hours at a time. We'll see what happens with him in a few years. lol
post #19 of 47
My older two were very different as babies, despite hitting milestones at almost exactly the same time. The first wouldn't sleep without touching me, couldn't fall asleep without nursing until, um, I think she was learning to read (?!), etc. #2 was much more mellow and easy. FWIW, they're both now in a self-contained gifted program, and #2 is the more successful all-around student. She's a perfectionist, and a natural speller... she's kind of a teacher's dream student and turns in beautiful work. On the other hand, #1 is more likely to surprise you with out of the box thinking and deep insight, and was more obviously precocious as a preschooler. She makes mistakes on the little details like spelling and on the arithmetic part of more complex math problems, often because of messy handwriting.

I guess they cancel each other out?
post #20 of 47
DD was easy to manage as long as she was constantly held and constantly had a boob in her mouth. She was alert and social as a newborn, but also very easily overstimulated. When she was 3 wks old, we took her to a loud family gathering, and instead of sleeping through it like DS would have, she screamed frantically until an hour after we got her home. She was also a terrible sleeper, with lots of night wakings, until around age 2.5 or 3.

Overall, she just seemed like an older person trapped in a baby's body. Slightly early on milestones- sat alone at 4 mos, cruised on furniture at 7 mos, crawled at 9 mos, walked at 10 mos. She started saying words at 5.5 months, and after that she was a bit easier, as she could finally communicate what she wanted to us. Followed instructions before 9 mos. She much preferred pointing and communicating to us what she wanted, rather than going and getting it herself by rolling or crawling to it. She started stimming when excited at 6 mos, and has continued it to this day. Possibly mild spd, never evaluated for it (lots of auditory, tactile, texture sensitivities from a young age).

DS (8 mos) so far seems much more like a "typical baby". He seems bright, but other than being very motivated to explore his environment and fairly early on his milestones, nothing super out of the ordinary. He was alert as a newborn, but not *spooky alert* like DD was. He's very social and a pleasure to have around, regardless of whether he ends up being gifted like big sis .
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting the Gifted Child › What was your child like as an infant?