Religous differences and friendships - Page 2

[mamabadger]

Five friends dumping you over religion? Very sad.

I have only one friend who shares my religious beliefs, but I get along with all of the others just as well. It does not have to be a problem.

However, I have noticed that some branches of Christianity seem to place a lot of emphasis on restricting contact to people in the same kind of church. Some even try and extend this to business contacts. Maybe your friend has been encouraged to follow this approach. (I wonder what some of the early Christians did, who had to live in a society which was almost entirely pagan. They could hardly function without dealing with non-Christians regularly.)

[KMK_Mama]

Originally Posted by mamabadger

Five friends dumping you over religion? Very sad.

I have only one friend who shares my religious beliefs, but I get along with all of the others just as well. It does not have to be a problem.

However, I have noticed that some branches of Christianity seem to place a lot of emphasis on restricting contact to people in the same kind of church. Some even try and extend this to business contacts. Maybe your friend has been encouraged to follow this approach. (I wonder what some of the early Christians did, who had to live in a society which was almost entirely pagan. They could hardly function without dealing with non-Christians regularly.)

Yeah, this is the 3rd one that I KNOW FOR SURE was over religion, the other 2 were just assumptions. I am a very good friend....so I don't understand.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by KMK_Mama

Thanks for saying that. I will admit that it wasn't my first draft. I wrote a few responses that I ended up not sending. I decided this was the best way to approach it.

I'm not perfect though....I am very hurt and feel judged and betrayed. A few things transpired on Facebook last night after I put a quote in my status that her husband didn't like. I ended up erasing them as friends today. The feelings I expressed in my letter still stand, I will be there for her, but I just don't feel like they should be my friends on Facebook and be able to peek in on my life when I know how they feel about me. I hope I did the right thing.

Wow.. I would have had several drafts if it were me Regarding facebook, heck yes you did the right thing. Your status reflects you and what is going on with you... if he didn't like it, tough cookie. Good on you for deleting them from 'friends', but they have chosen *not* to be your friend. So you deserve to have your privacy from their judgement.

I'm not athiest, but Pagan. I've had a few people slowly back away upon discovering this. I didn't previously make a big deal about it, it rarely came up.. so months down the road into a friendship I would say something and the gates would come crashing down. Now I make a point of causally getting it out in the open way before it becomes a painful situation.

I hope you can make peace with this and find more accepting and open minded friends

[Smokering]

Gosh, that's hard. My first reaction was to think "Wow, what a narrow-minded woman, how horrible and cruel!", but there could be more to it than that.

I mean, there are a lot of valid reasons a Christian might want to cut off contact with a non-Christian. She might feel she was investing too much in the friendship at the expense of her relationship with God or her spouse (then again, the same thing could happen with a Christian friendship), or that her friend was exposing her to movies/music/books/lifestyle choices she found tempting her towards sin, or that she felt she couldn't be comfortable around her friend because she kept wanting to mention religion and didn't want to seem preachy... or because her religion impacted her views on politics, bioethics, parenting, media etc to the point that she and her friend disagreed on a number of issues which seemed on the syrface unrelated to religion.

Or, of course, she could have joined a cult which prohibited her talking to non-believers, or she could be afraid you'll spread the taint of your filthy non-beliefs on her somehow and give her heathen cooties. Hard to say.

The point is, she may or may not be a horrible wench who's out to make you feel inferior. And in theory, there's nothing wrong with moving on from incompatible friendships. Look at MDC and the "I can't look my friend in the eye since she circed her son" thing - there are plenty of people here who've dropped friends because they were too mainstream. I've heard of other friends splitting up over whether or not to vote Obama! But it still sucks, and anyway, why exactly would her friendship with you not be honouring to God?? I'm a little confused about her theology, let alone her tact.

[umsami]

: Mama

I had a life-long good friend dump me about five years ago, and it still hurts from time to time. It was over the fact that DH and I eloped, of all things.. as she had always planned on going to my wedding. (We were planning a wedding/celebration for friends too later that year. : )

In reading your story, I honestly wonder if her husband wasn't the driving force.

:

[lab]

Originally Posted by KMK_Mama

Thanks for saying that. I will admit that it wasn't my first draft. I wrote a few responses that I ended up not sending. I decided this was the best way to approach it.

I'm not perfect though....I am very hurt and feel judged and betrayed. A few things transpired on Facebook last night after I put a quote in my status that her husband didn't like. I ended up erasing them as friends today. The feelings I expressed in my letter still stand, I will be there for her, but I just don't feel like they should be my friends on Facebook and be able to peek in on my life when I know how they feel about me. I hope I did the right thing.

I just wanted to say that I am sorry you are going through this.

I really do feel for you. I went through/am going through almost the EXACT same thing as you are right now. Right down to deleting her as a friend on facebook. I felt petty at the time - but I'm glad now that I did it.

I just so floored and devastated over the entire thing. Like you, I spoke to this friend daily. We exercised together at least 3 times weekly. We spoke almost hourly sometimes. Our three children were all the same age and same sex and were great friends as well.......

Anyway - I'm sorry for you and the loss of your friendship. I do know how hard it is and how consumed I was with trying to figure it out.......

[Nazsmum]

I'm so sorry for your loss!! Friendship is a hard thing to end.

You know the best thing we can do as mothers is to teach our children to be great friends not matter what the other person believes. I want my sons to be great friends and to know the value of a good friend.

[aweynsayl]

hugs hugs to you. i've been going thru some similar things over the past few years, and it's not so much fun.
hugs!