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Our pedi turned us to the Child Protective Services - Page 2

post #21 of 55
Will you be getting a new pediatrician after you've dealt with cps?
post #22 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyDi View Post
I'm not sure the ped over-reacted. When you say the ped has never seen your son, do you mean never ever, or not for this issue? If you mean never-ever then I can see the reporting because she has no personal history on which to base her opinion of you and no personal knowledge of your son's overall health. So as a mandated reporter she'd have to go with the worst case scenario while hoping she's wrong.

I think the easiest thing at this point would be to let CPS see that your kid is fine whether you go to them or allow them to come to you. Personally. I'd go to them.
Thats a good point. Our ped knows us very very well. So if I called in and said "ya know what, their dad was freaking out. it really just a scratch" he would know for certain that it really was just a scratch. he trusts my judgment and knows my kids are healthy and happy. but that is why we have taken the time to take our kids in for well checks, both so the Dr. will know us and in an emergancy our kids will know their Dr.

I can imagine how he handled a situation like this would vary depending on if he knew us or not.
post #23 of 55
Quote:
Do they have that right, to demand a meeting one way or another?
Not without a court order and I would never allow a CPS worker into my home without a warrant. Personally I would be speaking to our lawyers at this point and having them handle all communications.

I do think you need to have your child assessed by a doctor who can write a note for CPS to let them know that his is okay.
post #24 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post
Not without a court order and I would never allow a CPS worker into my home without a warrant. Personally I would be speaking to our lawyers at this point and having them handle all communications.

I do think you need to have your child assessed by a doctor who can write a note for CPS to let them know that his is okay.
Isn't this a bit over the top?

Personally I would let the CPS worker come into my house and visit with my child. But then again I would know the CPS worker was there for my childs benefit and that I had nothing to hide.
post #25 of 55
Quote:
Isn't this a bit over the top?
No, it isn't 'over the top' to protect my children and my home. The 4th amendment gives me this right.


Quote:
Personally I would let the CPS worker come into my house and visit with my child. But then again I would know the CPS worker was there for my childs benefit and that I had nothing to hide.
Personally, I prefer to take legal counsel from actual lawyers who have been working on cases involving CPS for over 20 years and know the ins and outs of the law and how best to protect my children. It doesn't really matter whether I have something to hide or not. If a police officer showed up demanding entrance to my home to see if I was growing pot or if their were illegal pictures on my computer or what not, they would be given the same treatment.
post #26 of 55
I actually am going to go out on a limb here and say it sounds like you MAY have found a pediatrician who really cares, is thoughtful, and is ready to go the extra mile for her patients.

You said she "got mad" - now if she was rude to you or something, that would change my opinion. But seriously I think the person here who needs to apologize is your partner. If you call up a doctor and say you think something is serious, it's a GOOD doctor who listens to that.

For CPS, I'd meet with them. Why not? It's the same thing; they're doing their job to protect kids. If you don't want them in your home, just schedule a neutral spot.
post #27 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post
Not without a court order and I would never allow a CPS worker into my home without a warrant. Personally I would be speaking to our lawyers at this point and having them handle all communications.

I do think you need to have your child assessed by a doctor who can write a note for CPS to let them know that his is okay.
Do you have a family lawyer familiar with CPS on retainer? I would bet 99.9% of people don't.
post #28 of 55
I NOW have a family lawyer who is quite familiar with CPS available to me should I need one after my experience this summer with my child.

I also will never walk into an unfamiliar medical setting without a digital voice recorder on the table and a copy of the laws which allow me to record any conversation which I am a party to.

Being forced to consent to known non-benign procedures to prove you have not abused your child - or temporarily lose custody - is not fun. It creates a defensive parent and one who learns the laws, their rights and becomes educated in how to protect them in order to protect their child and the integrity of their family.
post #29 of 55
Also, in regards to dog bites, since dogs can carry rabies, any dog bite is a public health concern in terms of potential rabies transmission. As far as I know, when a bite becomes known to health care providers, they have to inform the health department so they can follow up on the vaccination status of the dog.

I don't think CPS falls into this equation generally.
post #30 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoestoShow View Post
In some states, all dog bites are required to be reported by mandatory reporters, which include peds. So even if you had gone in, she may have been legally obligated to report the dog bite anyway. And in some cases, the dog would then be required to have a vet appointment to prove it's not dangerous/vicious according to state statute.
Yes, but those reports do not get made to Children's Protective Services. Rather they are made to the Animal Shelter/Humane Society for the County who regulates the animals (ie issues the dog licenses, etc).
post #31 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by hillymum View Post
Isn't this a bit over the top?

Personally I would let the CPS worker come into my house and visit with my child. But then again I would know the CPS worker was there for my childs benefit and that I had nothing to hide.
I have worked in the system for many years now. I can tell you, as an attorney who has experience with our local system, that it would all depend upon which caseworker was coming to my home. There are certain caseworkers who no matter what a parent does hates them from the word go and will look for anything and everything to open a full blown case and dig deeper into the lives to find even more dirt to use against the parents. But there are those caseworkers who honestly just want to come out and check to make sure the dog bite wasn't a horrible injury.

There is even currently one caseworker that if she ever showed up at my house I would have trespassed off the property and if she ever showed up again arrested for trespassing. That is how horrible she is. She is the type that once she dislikes you, there is no changing her mind and she will find something, anything, to prove you are an unfit parent and give the State Custody of your children and put them up for adoption.

But, to be on the safe side I would never let them into my own home without a warrant to do so. I would more than willingly meet them on my front porch with my doors and windows closed and curtains drawn, and let them see the child.
post #32 of 55
I would meet with them in my home and be cooperative. Being uncooperative would IMHO not be a good thing. I think it's a good sign they want to come over and check things out. As soon as they meet you and see your home and child they will see that everything is ok.
post #33 of 55
I would not let them into my home. You think mother in laws look at your cleanliness with a critical eye? I had a friend almost ordered into classes because, in her otherwise immaculate home, there was an empty candy wrapper and soda can on the computer desk in the den. This was classified as "food out of the kitchen/dining area" and that was grounds for being declared unfit living conditions.
post #34 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette View Post
I would not let them into my home. You think mother in laws look at your cleanliness with a critical eye? I had a friend almost ordered into classes because, in her otherwise immaculate home, there was an empty candy wrapper and soda can on the computer desk in the den. This was classified as "food out of the kitchen/dining area" and that was grounds for being declared unfit living conditions.
Seriously? I'm sorry, but I just can't believe this. CPS is in my great-niece's life right now for reasons I won't go into and my opinion is that she lives in low-level squalor... however, CPS says that it's clean enough for them.
post #35 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette View Post
I would not let them into my home. You think mother in laws look at your cleanliness with a critical eye? I had a friend almost ordered into classes because, in her otherwise immaculate home, there was an empty candy wrapper and soda can on the computer desk in the den. This was classified as "food out of the kitchen/dining area" and that was grounds for being declared unfit living conditions.
Ditto what velochic said, I highly highly doubt this was all CPS found. I can't think of a court in the country who would uphold intervention by CPS based on that alone.

And people, please remember... parents who do abuse or neglect their kids usually either lie about it or are in real denial about it when talking to family/friends/community. Rarely does a parent come right out and say "Yeah, CPS are involved because I wasn't supervising my kid properly and she drank drain-o" or "I left her home for 4 hours and she hit her head falling off a chair trying to get food". Even though the parent sincerely didn't mean for their child to be harmed, the number of times I've sat in mtgs and heard a parent explain a child's bad condition one way... then be reminded of facts of the situation that have already been proven true... then the parent "remembers" other issues... that is human nature. It's hard to admit when you've dropped the ball or been called out on something as serious as your children.

Paquerette, I'm not saying your friend definitely lied about the situation because of course I don't know, but I am saying that what your friend told you is unheard of as a reason for substantiating opening a child welfare case. Unheard of in any state, not just in some. And if CPS really got involved in your friend's life, I bet either that worker was quickly retrained or fired, OR your friend may not have told you the whole story.
post #36 of 55
I hope this works out OK for you. For some reason this situation reminds me of this video I saw online made by a lawyer called "why you should never talk to the police" where he was explaining that even a totally innocent person can incriminate themselves by having a simple conversation with a police officer.

At the same time, I see the logic in just going on and seeing someone and showing them the scratch, and being done with it.

I absolutely would get a new pedi no matter what. I just could never have a trusting relationship with this person after something like this, no matter what. I would at least expect the doc to tell me they were going to report it.

again, I hope this works out ok for you!
post #37 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by LROM View Post
Ditto what velochic said, I highly highly doubt this was all CPS found. I can't think of a court in the country who would uphold intervention by CPS based on that alone.
That's assuming the court heard the truth. I was actually there for a case where a family lost their children for a year, after one of the social workers involved lied in court. I know as much as it's possible for someone who doesn't actually live there to know about the case (I was peripherally involved, and spent a lot of time in their home, including numerous overnight visits). I don't think they were the greatest parents in the world, don't get me wrong - but they didn't deserve to lose their kids, and their kids didn't deserve to have their parents removed from their day to day lives for a year. And, none of them deserved to receive that treatment, solely because an arrogant social worker would rather lie to a judge than admit she was wrong.

I hear a lot about CPS hysteria and paranoia. But, there are reasons some of us are so freaked out about agencies who have the power to have our children taken from us, and who we know, for a fact, don't always act in the best interest of our kids.
post #38 of 55
OP, do you have any update for us?

I think in this situation, I'd take my child to a (different) doctor and have the doctor contact them and let them know that my child is fine and in good health.

Maybe the pediatrician thought she had a good reason for hotlining the OP -- but I personally would never take my child into the presence of someone who had ever done that to us. But I'm just weird like that.

As to letting them into my home ... it would "probably" go fine. We were hotlined once and I did let the worker in. It went fine and no case was ever opened.

But if I had to do it over, I think it's better to arrange an appointment so you can videotape the proceedings, and have a witness. Even if the worker immediately returns with a warrant, that at least gives you a witness in the form of a police officer.

Even though my situation went fine, I've since learned that it's just a good idea to have a witness/videotape. Otherwise it's just the worker's word against yours and who's the judge more likely to believe? I mean, I'm all for assuming everyone's trustworthy -- but it seems like there's a whole lot hinging on a parent's belief that the caseworker's trustworthy --

And, uhm, hate to say it but when someone reports us, they're not exactly "trusting" us, now are they? I understand that the worker is just doing their job -- but, still, part of their job is to not be too quick to trust us -- right? Why should the suspected parent be any "more" trusting than those around her, yk?

But, anyhow, in the OP's case, it sounds like all they need to see is that the scratch has healed. And a doctor can tell them that.
post #39 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
That's assuming the court heard the truth. I was actually there for a case where a family lost their children for a year, after one of the social workers involved lied in court. I know as much as it's possible for someone who doesn't actually live there to know about the case (I was peripherally involved, and spent a lot of time in their home, including numerous overnight visits). I don't think they were the greatest parents in the world, don't get me wrong - but they didn't deserve to lose their kids, and their kids didn't deserve to have their parents removed from their day to day lives for a year. And, none of them deserved to receive that treatment, solely because an arrogant social worker would rather lie to a judge than admit she was wrong.

I hear a lot about CPS hysteria and paranoia. But, there are reasons some of us are so freaked out about agencies who have the power to have our children taken from us, and who we know, for a fact, don't always act in the best interest of our kids.

Just curious. Was it ever proven that she lied? Because if it was, she should have been prosecuted and jailed.
post #40 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette View Post
I would not let them into my home. You think mother in laws look at your cleanliness with a critical eye? I had a friend almost ordered into classes because, in her otherwise immaculate home, there was an empty candy wrapper and soda can on the computer desk in the den. This was classified as "food out of the kitchen/dining area" and that was grounds for being declared unfit living conditions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
That's assuming the court heard the truth.

<snip>

I hear a lot about CPS hysteria and paranoia.
And it's stories like the above that causes the paranoia. When people spread rumors that people almost lost their children because of a candy wrapper and soda can in another room of the otherwise immaculate house *and NO other reason*, that's one of the reasons that cause paranoia. And paquerette didn't say that anyone lied in court.

Your story is different and it goes beyond CPS, it is a matter of someone committing perjury and needs to involve prosecution as the pp said. CPS as a whole is not to be blamed for one (or more) dishonest person. As a whole, I think they are just over-worked people who are trying their best to protect kids who are TRULY at risk.

I've had two people hit my van in the past year. They gave false insurance information to the police. If they had told the truth, that they were uninsured, they would have been arrested. They are free, no charges against them and we had to pay for the repairs (at least the deductible). They were dishonest, we paid the price... but I still believe in the car insurance system.
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