Ideas about bedrooms for dd's 2 and 9yos

[Seawen]

Hi everyone
I'm looking for help thinking through what to do about a bedroom for dd2 age 2yo.

we have a 3 bedroom house, 1 BR for Dh and me (and dd2 sleeps with us), 1 BR for dd1 age 9yo, 1 BR that is DH's office as he is self-employed and works from home.

dd2's "stuff" is everywhere since she doesn't have a room. Her toys are all over the LR, the changing table is in the DR and her stuffed animals are all over our bed.

She doesn't need to sleep anywhere yet but I REALLY want a home for her stuff.

We don't have money to add on. Our attic and basement can't be a BR or an office. DH is too messy to have his office in our BR and his business isn't really good enough to rent an office out of the house.

The obvious answer is to just put the 2 dd's together but I worry about the age difference now and as they age. I know dd1 does NOT want a changing table or baby toys in her room. I know I probably should just say, "too bad" and dump the stuff in there but, dd1 has been pretty articulate about she worries I'll need to change a diaper during a playdate and how that will embarass her. I try to respect her feelings in all things and it doesn't feel right to just force her little sis in there.

Any ideas I'm missing?
Thank you!

[~*max*~]

Well, it doesn't seem like you have a lot of options other than having the girls share some space. Could you put the changing table in your bedroom & the toys in the girls' room? Maybe as you set up the space you can make some fun changes in the room for older dd so that she feels special - a loft bed to save space, a new bedspread - that kind of thing. You could also have a talk w/dd about your family's needs and ask her how you can work together to make it successful.

My 3 dds share a room, and the oldest & youngest (8 & 3) actually have the least trouble getting along/sharing space. I think the age difference can work in your favor, as there is less competition. By that I mean, there are "big girl" toys, rules, bedtimes and "little girl" rules, toys, bedtimes, etc. When they are close in age these boundaries get blurred & can cause conflict (at least in my crew!).

Good luck.

[sunnmama]

My kids are 3 (this weekend) and 8 (nine next month). We have a 2 bedroom apt, and everyone sleeps in our room. The other room is officially "dd's room" (the 8 yo), but ds's things have been progressively moving in there over the course of this year (age 2-3).

If the changing table is the big issue for your older dd, can you just keep the changing table in your room, and keep the toys in the "kid room"? I've never kept my ds's diapering things in dd's room. Just toys, and now ds's clothes are in there, too.

One thing that helps is decluttering in general, so that ds doesn't have a huge amt of toys out at any given time. Their closet is large, and stores many of the toys that are out of rotation. If I get something out of the closet for ds, I put something else in the closet. So the toys ds has out at any given time are minimal. My kids play better with limited toys, and make less mess, so that is a bonus!

[Meems]

Could you move your DH's office into the dining room or your bedroom? Maybe you could help organize so that it isn't so messy?? I think that it's probably best to let your 9yo keep her room.

[Artichokie]

my honest gut reaction is that your 9 yr old should get over it. why would a diaper change during a play date embarrass her? and could you change the diaper somewhere else if she has a friend in her room with her? I guess that probably isn't a popular opinion, but my sisters are 6, 11, and 22 years younger than I so I do have some experience with this. I didn't want to share my bedroom, but part of being a member of a family is doing what works best for the family - the bottom line is you have two bedrooms and four members of the family. Why should your dd1 be the only person with her own personal space when room is tight?

[RiverSky]

Do you have a dining room? an area like a wide hallway where you can put a couple of 6 foot tall bookcases to hold DD2's toys? Do you have one great room or a living room and a family room? Do you have a breakfast room? A large foyer or mud room? A porch that could be enclosed? Do you have a garage? Could you use some bookcases or other furniture to enclose one corner of the living room and make it a toddler play area?

[Three~Little~Birds]

Originally Posted by MoreThanApplesauce

my honest gut reaction is that your 9 yr old should get over it. why would a diaper change during a play date embarrass her? and could you change the diaper somewhere else if she has a friend in her room with her? I guess that probably isn't a popular opinion, but my sisters are 6, 11, and 22 years younger than I so I do have some experience with this. I didn't want to share my bedroom, but part of being a member of a family is doing what works best for the family - the bottom line is you have two bedrooms and four members of the family. Why should your dd1 be the only person with her own personal space when room is tight?

I totally agree. Just because they will have to share a bedroom, does not mean that you are ignoring her feelings. I also don't think that your dd should call the shots on this one. This is your decision. I think that it is important how it is handled, though. Some thought that come to mind are:
- starting to discuss that dd2 is getting older now and is soon going to be old enough for the "big kid room", just like dd1 was (at that age).
- don't suggest that it's dd1's space that is being encroached upon;
- get some new fancy things that will make dd1 feel special and that her special things are safe - maybe a new paint job, bed spread, a loft bed space of her own, or a diary with a key, or a box with a key, for that matter, for her items that she doesn't want her sister getting in to;
- don't move the changeable in. She probably won't even be in diapers much longer anyway.

I do not have any personal experience with respect to the age difference. I have been wondering about it though as my two girls are 6 years apart, whereas my two room sharers are 22 months apart. I think that it might be the two girls sharing a room together one day though...

[cattmom]

I have a couple of thoughts about changing tables. One is that they're pretty easy to do without. I know someone who just put a big cushy towel on the nearest bed and kept diapers etc on the nightstand. I also know someone who basically kept a stocked diaper bag with an extra-big changing mat (by the time she was that age) and hung it on a door handle. If you're lucky enough to have a spare bathroom, that might be a solution. One of my oldest friends had a seldom used downstairs bathtub. She put the changing table in there. We have a seldom used downstairs shower - that's where my daughter's doll stroller and shopping cart live.

[pianojazzgirl]

We had a changing table for dd, but barely used it, and for ds never had one. We just had a changing mat we would put on the floor or bed (which has now been thrown out cause it got too gross and I just use any kind of towel or whatever). Dipes have a home in one of the bathroom shelves. So if it were me I would just deep six the changing table and free up a little space (and take away that worry of your older dd).

I like what how a pp suggested wording it - not that younger dd2 would be sharing dd1's space, but rather that she too would be "moving up" into the big girl room. A loft bed is a good idea as something special for dd1, but don't forget to consider safety for dd2. I know my 2 yr old is very reckless and I wouldn't want him to have access to a loft or bunk bed. That said my friend has had bunk beds for her dds since the youngest was 2 and there has never been a problem, and it's always felt safe for her, so I guess it depends on the child.