distance learning high school?

[stardustdawn]

Hello,

My name is Heather- I am momma to 3 lovely girls. My oldest two, ages 16 and 14, have been in public schools. Their father is not a homeschooling supporter. My youngest, 9, has been homeschooled. Her father is not a big public school supporter. So, I've been seeing the best and worst of both worlds.

Here's our story:

My 16 year old is a junior now, and has always been a very good student. However, since high school started, she's hated school more and more. I'm not really sure what the source of her conflict is, but every morning is such a struggle. She begs me not to make her go. She says she's not bullied, her grades are good, but she's becoming less and less social- she hardly talks to her friends. Many have stopped trying to communicate with her at all.

She's been asking me to let her be homeschooled. I'm hoping that if we remove the stress of school from her, perhaps she will be more open. Everyone is so worried about her being socialized, but as she has pointed out, she's been in public school for 11 years, and she feels like she's been socialized plenty. The school will still let her participate in band, and she is also a member of the local youth symphony orchestra, so I'm not too worried about her "socialization" (but of course others are.)

We have some issues with her father, and I may have some legal entanglements with him, but we are trying to look into signing her up for an accredited distance learning high school, so that he may see it as a "real" school with "real" teachers" and a "real" diploma.

We are looking for schools that will have some college planning and help too. We've looked at Laurel Springs, which seems to be wonderful, but it's very expensive, especially since she will be taking honors and AP classes. Right now I think we have narrowed it down to K12 (although the public school option is not available to us here) or National Connections Academy.

Has anyone had experience with these two schools, or recommend another one? We would like to be starting soon. Her semester ends in the next week, and we would like to start homeschooling for the second semseter as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading my little novella!

Heather

[eilonwy]

I have no experience with high school at home, I just wanted to say this: At 16, your daughter would be legally entitled to make her own educational decisions here. I'm not sure what state you're in nor of the details of your custody arrangement, but your ex-husband may not have any say in what your daughter decides to do with regard to her own education. I'd look into the laws surrounding high school education before worrying at all about the ex. Good luck with your decision!

[Roar]

It could be that taking her out of school is just the thing she needs and it is good you are considering the possibilities...

That said, I have a bit of concern that since you aren't sure what the problem is that it is hard to plan. Given her age and her retreat from her friends, I would definitely suggest considering if depression is playing any role in what is happening. It is quite common for it to start around her age and general blah unhappiness and lack of interest in friends are potential signs that point in that direction. While I agree you don't need to be worried about "socialization", I do think it is reasonable to have a very clear plan about how she will be busy and involved with others so she doesn't just use this to disconnect from others.

[stardustdawn]

Thank you Eilonwy and Roar,

Interesting point about maybe she is old enough to decide. She will actually be 17 in 4 days, so I think her age may be helpful for her in this case.

She has been somewhat depressed. We moved about 5 years ago and she has never really adjusted, and she's been struggling with an eating disorder since freshman year. We've been seeking therapy and seeing a nutritionist with some progress, but it hasn't done much to alleviate her unhappiness. She says she hates feeling "trapped" at school, and how all the teachers seem to always be looking for students, even good ones like her, to be doing something wrong. She says it feels like a prison.

On the other hand, she hates our new house and says it feels like a prison too, so being homeschooled may not help her at all. I'm just out of ideas of how to help her. If I could go back in time and never move houses or schools, I would.

Thanks for listening,

Heather

[kathymuggle]

Gently: I don't really think it is normal to not have recoverred from a move after 5 years. I also do not think you should be second guessing yourself on moving, or wishing you had not moved, 5 years later. You are not responsible for her unhappiness.

I doubt moving is at the root of her unhappiness - it may have trigerred her unhappiness long ago, but the unhappiness probably has a life of its own by now.

I think letting her be in charge of fixing her life so she will be happy is probably the best thing you can do for her. Completing HS at home may be what she needs. I would try to help her make a plan so that she does interact with other people on a regular basis as isolation is not always healthy. This can be achieved through volunteering, working, groups/clubs etc.

[LauraLoo]

Here is another distance learning program. The school is an actual brick and motar school, and they also have their home based program. I have not used it, but am considering it in a few years because of their advisor assistance.

Clonlara: http://www.clonlara.org/home_based

[Roar]

Have you tried meds? Is she a junior or a senior? If this is senior year I'd suggest she ride it out.

If there is a therapist involved I encourage you to involve him/her in this planning process. I think it would be a good idea to have a plan in writing to make sure she clear schedule so she's not sleeping the days away and a plan for work, activities and/or volunteering. Beginning homeschooling plus depression could be a really bad combination.

[stardustdawn]

Thanks again, everyone, for your replies. I will think about everything you have said. I hope that by giving her back some feeling of control over her life, she'll start feeling better. I do worry that this will make it easier for her to withdraw from the world, so we are discussing how to get her more involved in extra curricular activities.

I think she has decided on K12. She's a junior now, so we'll see how the rest of this year goes, then decide what to do senior year.

I can't believe my baby is almost all grown up! I don't think I'll ever want to stop mothering her though!

Warmly,
Heather

[kathymuggle]

for you and your DD!

and...please keep posting! My DS is about to take his first class in virtual high and I enjoy having moms of older kids to talk to!

Kathy

[Materfamilias]

Good luck! I teach for a virtual school and I will say that the kids need to be motivated and they need to be willing to keep in contact with the instructor and keep up with their work. Those are the biggest problems I have with students.
ETA As the parent you should familiarize yourself with the courses your DD will be taking and keep in contact with the instructors.

[eclipse]

The only other idea I have that hasn't been mentioned (and really, it does sound like depression is playing a major role in whatever is bothering her) is to think about whether she needs a HS diploma for what she wants to do. You said she's a good student - is she good enough to attend community college as opposed to HS? Could she take her GED and go straight to college? That's a possibility that I explored during my HS years and ultimately decided against - but really wish I had gone with. I ended up in CC rather than a university anyhow (my mom couldn't afford to pay tuition, so I had to pay myself out of financial aid, loans, and working full time - CC was much more cost effective than a university), so my graduating with honors from HS didn't really make a difference.