3 yo only child, trouble socializing

[flg mama]

I have a very bright, sweet 3 yo boy who is, for now, an only child. I do not currently have him in any classes but we do get out and go to the library, zoo, museums, park, visiting family very often. At the start of the school year I began babysitting for two other children 1.) for extra money and 2.) so he could have regular playtime with other kids around his age. He very much enjoys seeing the kids, they are really great and they have a lot of fun together. It can be challenging though, as my son seems to go into overdrive around the kids and is kind of obnoxious. He just gets really wound up, pushy, bossy, noise sensitive (though he yells at everyone else), and generally melts down several times a day. I feel like I always start out trying to talk calmly and keep things positive, but his behavior is so different than when we are at home that I don't even know who I am dealing with sometimes! I am thinking about enrolling him in playschool a couple of days a week so he can socialize without me overseeing, but I honestly am curious if he'd act the same way. Parents of only children, how do you help your child to socialize with peers?

[TiredX2]

Moved to The Childhood Years

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by flg mama

It can be challenging though, as my son seems to go into overdrive around the kids and is kind of obnoxious. He just gets really wound up, pushy, bossy, noise sensitive (though he yells at everyone else), and generally melts down several times a day. I feel like I always start out trying to talk calmly and keep things positive, but his behavior is so different than when we are at home that I don't even know who I am dealing with sometimes! I am thinking about enrolling him in playschool a couple of days a week so he can socialize without me overseeing, but I honestly am curious if he'd act the same way. Parents of only children, how do you help your child to socialize with peers?

I don't get your reasoning here....he gets a little overwhelmed around 2 other active children, so you want to put him around 10 or 20 children and have someone else deal with it instead? LOL! I can see how society tells us that this sort of thing might help, but I don't think it does, at all. I think it is PERFECTLY normal for a 3 year old to get overly stimulated by other children, but for both o my two children, 3 years was the most challenging year of their first five years. Perhaps you are just experiencing the worst of it while the other children are there?

It sounds to me as if your child got plenty of socializing in even before you started babysitting the other children. Having been very active in a moms club for a few years, I felt that at least 1/3 of the other children were naturally shy and reserved, perhaps even introverts, and at 3, they just weren't old enough to break out of that. It doesn't sound as if your son is on the extreme end of that, but perhaps he just gets overstimulated by all that activity, given his age.

I think you should just stick with what you are doing and support him through his meltdowns. Hopefully, he will get past them soon. HTH

[snarky]

Do you think your son is going into overdrive to get and keep your attention while there are other kids around? If that's the case, then he might do OK in preschool where there is no mama to showboat for.

Hard to tell though. If it's the kids that are winding him up, then I agree with the PP, adding 10 more will make it worse.

My only child is 3 as well. She has been in full time daycare for almost two years now. I think daycare/preschool is a great way to socialize, especially for people like me who would rather eat glass than do a playdate circuit. She gets her playing done while I'm at work, then we can hang out 1:1 at home.

My daughter has cousins of a similar age, and she visits them a lot. Spending time with our very large extended family has been very helpful in socializing as well.