deliberately peeing in underpants before using the potty?

[Klynne]

I read a previous thread here. The mom posted about her dd repeatedly peeing in er undies instead of using the toilet, this despite the fact that she was toilet trained.

Dh and I are struggling with the exact same issue. For the past 6 months dd (3.5) has been peeing in her undies a little before relieving herself fully on the potty. Dd has been potty trained since 18 months. She knows the routine very well.

At first we thought it was because she was caught up in play and just didn't care to take a potty break. Though it might be the case 25% of the time, other times she will stand right in front of me, give a pondering look, and then tell me "I peed in my undies". Other times I have asked her if we need to make a potty stop (while out and about) she will tell me no, and then not 5 minutes later I will pick her up and her bottom will be wet.

I'm trying my hardest to try and understand why she feels the need to do this. I'm a sahm and work hard to give her a lot of quality time. I can't help but feel that I'm failing her in some way, or causing her to do this.

2 months ago I put a basket in the wc that we use most and told her that she "was a big girl now and that she didn't need me to ask her if she needed to go". I showed her were the clean underwear were (by the sink) and were she was to put the soiled underwear if she should have an accident (on the opposite side of the sink). I had hopes that this would help her but it hasn't changed a thing.

If any one has had a similar experience please share!

[orangatan]

Yup that's what we are going through right now, could have written your post word for word. DD will also look me in the eye and almost in a sneaky joking way say "I pee undies, I pee undies" in a sing-a-songy voice. Urgh, makes me mental. She always does this when she is upset, angry, annoyed or simply because I said "no" to something or made her wait a minute. This started when her little brother was about 6-8 weeks old and I guess she realized that he's here to stay. What have I done? I've put her back in diapers as much as it pains me (financially and earth-wise as her cloth diapers give her a horrible rash, yes I've tried everything ) Realistically I can't be cleaning urine all day and I thought that her wearing diapers might give us both a break. Maybe removing the "novelty" of her peeing herself in protest to something she doesn't like. My plan is to spend as much quality time with her as I can, give into her requests for nursing, and just give it a little bit of time to let her adjust. I also (calmly, not angry) help her clean up the mess and change her clothes. I don't know if what Im doing is right, or even if it's working- we are still in diapers here.
One thing maybe to think about, before DS was born DD started having a few accidents and it turned out she had a uti. Because of the pain during urination she would hold it until she couldn't.
Not sure if my post helped any but I will be watching to see what others have to say. Your not alone in this!

[Klynne]

Edited,

We had a dry day yesterday while out at Childrens museum and at the store.

I'm sure our LO are just going though a phase. Maybe the fact that they have youger siblings is key.

Good luck!

[sapphire_chan]

Potty regression is pretty common in kids with new siblings. It's lucky for you that you haven't had any poop problems.

Klynne, it's great that your dd was dry yesterday!

I think your solution for handling the wet undies is perfect. As long as you've got enough undies to get through to the next laundry day.

Really, the fact that she wets a little then does the rest in the potty means that she does still have control and is testing you. With your idea you've given the response that you aren't going to play that game and also that you have confidence in her being able to deal with it herself.

[Klynne]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Potty regression is pretty common in kids with new siblings. It's lucky for you that you haven't had any poop problems.

Klynne, it's great that your dd was dry yesterday!

I think your solution for handling the wet undies is perfect. As long as you've got enough undies to get through to the next laundry day.

Really, the fact that she wets a little then does the rest in the potty means that she does still have control and is testing you. With your idea you've given the response that you aren't going to play that game and also that you have confidence in her being able to deal with it herself.

Thanks for the vote of confidence She was dry today too while on our family outing to the fire house and Chinese Garden. YEAH!!! Nothing like posting here to vent a little, and get perspective. Some how situations don't seem as bad as they feel at times!

How's your little one? We were in the same DDC, if you remember. Yver is all about things with wheels. Seriously! He has about 10 words so far. I think this stage is my favorite, out of all the stages I've been exposed to thus far

[jenneology]

My boy has been doing this recently. I don't get it. I'm hoping he moves on soon. I like the basket idea. He will get himself a new pair (and yesterday put them on himself--inside out and backwards but still!) and he'll put the wet pair in the soiled clothes or laundry basket. I threatened diapers but he doesn't need them, but I have told him that we won't leave the house if he can't stay dry while we are out.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Klynne

How's your little one? We were in the same DDC, if you remember. Yver is all about things with wheels. Seriously! He has about 10 words so far. I think this stage is my favorite, out of all the stages I've been exposed to thus far

She's going through a lot of frustrations over not being understood and not being allowed to play with dangerous/uncontrollably messy (if clean up is a PITA, it's not happening)/expensive/fragile things. I don't mind the tantrums to relieve her feelings about being kept from stuff I don't want her to mess with, what gets me is the tantrums because I wasn't able to help her do something totally okay. Like "you wanted to pick up the glass pitcher and I stopped you, I'm sorry" versus "O-oh, you wanted to play with the tea set here it is, there there". Both cases I deal with screaming for 5 minutes and dodge getting slapped in the face, but with the second it could have been avoided if I'd just known what she wanted.

Which is why it's not my favorite stage.

On a note she rocks out to music daily and is making more of an effort to imitate words and to ask what things are. "what's that?" is her favorite phrase now.

[Klynne]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Which is why it's not my favorite stage.

On a note she rocks out to music daily and is making more of an effort to imitate words and to ask what things are. "what's that?" is her favorite phrase now.

: She sounds passionate and engaged. Awesome
Ds gets frustrated when he can't "explain" what he wants. It must be a hard thing, thinking and understanding yet unable to communicate understandably. Anyways he has way more of a temper than dd ever had. Dd never threw cars lol.