Building character at home?? - Page 2

[pigpokey]

Wow, yes, I would never think that the school SOCIAL environment builds character. I thought you were talking about other ways the institution can build character. Like this expensive private school which sends kids to the principal's office if they catch them doing something good. Uh, you have to read the link. My fear would be that if I sent my kids to that school, it would manage to extinguish any random acts of kindness within 1-2 years.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by sierramv

My Dad even comes over and "teases" him because that's what he would get in school. Can you believe it. I tell him, that all that is doing is causing him to be defensive and fresh, nothing good can come out of that. Sometimes I think the adults should take a lesson from my 7 year old.

omg really? Dad would get to stay home until he could start acting like an adult instead of like the badly behaved kids we don't want our kids around anyway. Maybe suggest to Dad that your son should at LEAST be able to count on trusted adults to treat him with kindness!?

pigpokey.. WOW... the strategy of that school is awesome. Catch 'em being good has always worked with most kids I've worked with (child care) so it's brilliant for them to carry it into school.

[lach]

Originally Posted by pigpokey

Wow, yes, I would never think that the school SOCIAL environment builds character. I thought you were talking about other ways the institution can build character. Like this expensive private school which sends kids to the principal's office if they catch them doing something good. Uh, you have to read the link. My fear would be that if I sent my kids to that school, it would manage to extinguish any random acts of kindness within 1-2 years.

I think that's a pretty cool idea, actually. It also sounds like it helps forge a more positive relationship between the student and the head of school then just the "oooh scary person you get sent to see when you get in trouble" way that most kids see their principal. I know when I was a kid I was scared to death of the principal... even though I had never actually been "sent" to her, I never really did much of anything wrong anyway, and she was always perfectly nice to me that I remember on the rare occasions when we did interact. It was just the idea of this big scary adult who doles out punishments that scared me.

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by pigpokey

Like this expensive private school which sends kids to the principal's office if they catch them doing something good. Uh, you have to read the link. My fear would be that if I sent my kids to that school, it would manage to extinguish any random acts of kindness within 1-2 years.

Originally Posted by lach

I think that's a pretty cool idea, actually. It also sounds like it helps forge a more positive relationship between the student and the head of school then just the "oooh scary person you get sent to see when you get in trouble" way that most kids see their principal.

My kids dread having attention drawn to themselves in group situations. That would work to advantage if getting sent to the principal's office was punitive. But if that was a form of positive recognition, I can pretty much guarantee that they would purposely avoid doing anything laudable, for fear of drawing that overt positive recognition. They would be more like pigpokey's ... but in my kids' cases, I think the effect would be instantaneous. All of which just goes to show that no single character-building strategy is going to work as intended for all kids.

Miranda

[Daffodil]

And of course the kids who do like the recognition are going to start thinking there's no point doing anything good when no teachers are around to catch them. Goodbye, spontaneous acts of genuine kindness!

[pigpokey]

If you give kids unnatural, material rewards for reading books over the summer, they will read more books over the summer, but less over a 12 month period than the kids who were never given the rewards at all.

Kids who do things for praise or stickers will stop when no one's looking. Kids who are nice because it's right to be nice, will be nice all the time.

Plus the fact that I can't imagine a situation where a child would increase his popularity by being a teacher suckup. "Oh Miss Jayme, can I help you put away the chairs after assembly Miss Jayme?" That might be the right thing to do but it's not going to get you invited to Bobby's birthday party, and believe me they want that more than stickers.