DISCLAIMER: Ok, please don't flame me. I am looking for constructive advice. Please also try to have some empathy-- we're exhausted and burned out and quite probably not making good judgment calls.
So DS is more than 3.5 years old, and has been sleeping in his own bed in his own room since last August (so, about 6 months). We always lie down with him to help him fall asleep, and when he calls to us in the night (which he does, usually at least twice) one of us goes in to lie down with him until he falls asleep. He's never fallen asleep alone, and never (that I know of) fallen BACK asleep alone. Which is ok with me, he's still little.
But recently, things have gotten completely out of control. It's no longer enough for us to lie down next to him until he falls asleep, he requires that one of us be with him basically all night. I should add that I'm due to deliver in 2-3 weeks, and I'm sure that part of what's going on is apprehension about the new baby... But anyway. We can't sleep with him. We don't get any rest. He sleeps in a twin, and it's super uncomfortable for me in particular, with my baby belly, but also for DH to spend the night.
Last night was the worst night I think we've ever had with DS, including possibly newborn phase. He was tired and was asleep by 8pm. He woke up at 9:15, DH went to help him fall back asleep, which was quickly. He woke up again at 10. DH tried to help him fall back asleep, but after 30 minutes, DH got extremely frustrated, yelled at DS, and left the room. I went in to try to soothe him back to sleep and spent an hour. He finally calmed down, but every time he would drift off and I would try to get out of bed he would wake up and cling to me. Finally, at 11:30 I couldn't take it any more. I told him I was going to bed. In my bed.
For another hour he sobbed, and coughed. We would go in to check on him, he would tell us he needed water, or to go pee, or more light, or to blow his nose, etc etc etc. He would not fall asleep with us next to him, nor would he fall asleep alone. It was awful. Finally, at I don't even know what time, I brought him into our bed. It took a while, but he eventually fell asleep.
The problem was OUR bed is too small for 2 adults and a large almost-4 year old. And the pg cushion I now need to sleep with, lol. At some point, I got up and slept in DS' bed, which is uncomfortable for me (the mattress is too soft for my taste) but it was that or end up on the floor.
We've had it. We're exhausted. We go back and forth between rooms ALL.NIGHT.LONG. I'm expecting a baby soon and the thought of dealing with TWO children who won't sleep makes me want to cry. DH wants us to just let him cry himself to sleep. I really, really don't want to resort to that, but I get his frustration. I also think DS is more likely to end up puking than sleeping if he cries that much.
DS tells us alternately that he's afraid of monsters and that he just doesn't like to sleep alone. But he was doing just fine in his room until now. I really don't know what to do. We've tried talking, explaining, staying, leaving, and, last night, threatening and cajoling.
Please help. And please don't tell me I'm a horrible mother for letting DS cry last night. I don't think it's CIO at almost-4, when you've spent HOURS trying to help your kid get to sleep.
And if you made it to here, thanks for reading.
TIA.
So DS is more than 3.5 years old, and has been sleeping in his own bed in his own room since last August (so, about 6 months). We always lie down with him to help him fall asleep, and when he calls to us in the night (which he does, usually at least twice) one of us goes in to lie down with him until he falls asleep. He's never fallen asleep alone, and never (that I know of) fallen BACK asleep alone. Which is ok with me, he's still little.
But recently, things have gotten completely out of control. It's no longer enough for us to lie down next to him until he falls asleep, he requires that one of us be with him basically all night. I should add that I'm due to deliver in 2-3 weeks, and I'm sure that part of what's going on is apprehension about the new baby... But anyway. We can't sleep with him. We don't get any rest. He sleeps in a twin, and it's super uncomfortable for me in particular, with my baby belly, but also for DH to spend the night.
Last night was the worst night I think we've ever had with DS, including possibly newborn phase. He was tired and was asleep by 8pm. He woke up at 9:15, DH went to help him fall back asleep, which was quickly. He woke up again at 10. DH tried to help him fall back asleep, but after 30 minutes, DH got extremely frustrated, yelled at DS, and left the room. I went in to try to soothe him back to sleep and spent an hour. He finally calmed down, but every time he would drift off and I would try to get out of bed he would wake up and cling to me. Finally, at 11:30 I couldn't take it any more. I told him I was going to bed. In my bed.
For another hour he sobbed, and coughed. We would go in to check on him, he would tell us he needed water, or to go pee, or more light, or to blow his nose, etc etc etc. He would not fall asleep with us next to him, nor would he fall asleep alone. It was awful. Finally, at I don't even know what time, I brought him into our bed. It took a while, but he eventually fell asleep.
The problem was OUR bed is too small for 2 adults and a large almost-4 year old. And the pg cushion I now need to sleep with, lol. At some point, I got up and slept in DS' bed, which is uncomfortable for me (the mattress is too soft for my taste) but it was that or end up on the floor.
We've had it. We're exhausted. We go back and forth between rooms ALL.NIGHT.LONG. I'm expecting a baby soon and the thought of dealing with TWO children who won't sleep makes me want to cry. DH wants us to just let him cry himself to sleep. I really, really don't want to resort to that, but I get his frustration. I also think DS is more likely to end up puking than sleeping if he cries that much.
DS tells us alternately that he's afraid of monsters and that he just doesn't like to sleep alone. But he was doing just fine in his room until now. I really don't know what to do. We've tried talking, explaining, staying, leaving, and, last night, threatening and cajoling.
Please help. And please don't tell me I'm a horrible mother for letting DS cry last night. I don't think it's CIO at almost-4, when you've spent HOURS trying to help your kid get to sleep.
And if you made it to here, thanks for reading.
TIA.
sounds like you both had a really rough night, I hope tonight improves for you and you find the root of this regression.
