Sign on door for after the birth?

[JorgieGirl]

My mom wrote up a sign for after the birth of our DD that was along the lines of,baby stats, call first, bring food, help clean, kinda thing. I didn't actually realize what it said til a week later when I left the house the first time.

Does anyone else have a print out for the door for after your homebirth? Would you mind sharing what it says? I want to be firm but not rude in my wording. After doing it once I know that sometimes people think a homebirth means free for all visitation (since a hospital isn't regulating the amount). SOOOO not true! lol.

[EricaDoula]

That is a great idea!

[JennTheMomma]

We might have one, but probably not, as anyone who wants to come visit would have to drive a bit to our house and they'd most likely call first. But maybe something that says "baby and mom resting, please call before knocking".

[Annoia]

Originally Posted by JorgieGirl

My mom wrote up a sign for after the birth of our DD that was along the lines of,baby stats, call first, bring food, help clean, kinda thing.

Ooh, I love that! Maybe we'll do the same

Last time around not everyone knew we were having a HB, so that really kept the visitors down. I'm sure the local hospital got plenty of calls tho'

[Geerbabe]

There is a post from a while ago that had some good suggestions. Go to here and scroll to the bottom of the page.

It says:

Make a sign for your door. Our MW had one all printed up that said:

"At homebirths we mother the mother. Please do something helpful/useful while you are here. Sweep the floor, quietly do the dishes, wash a load of laundry, or take out the trash. But most importantly, limit your stay to 15 minutes."

I liked their sign, but we didn't want visitors for a week. We printed one that told the baby's stats and that the new family was resting and getting to know eachother. We also put a date so they'd know when we would accept visitors, and instructions to call first. Then we just didn't answer the door.

After 1 week we used the MW's sign.

[Geerbabe]

Here is another one:

My midwife gave us a poster for our front door - fil in the blanks style.

It said "CONGRATULATIONS!

Baby _____________ arrived at ______ on ______________ and weighed ________________ at ________________inches long.

Mother and baby need plenty of rest so while you are welcome to come and bring a meal and well wishes, visitors who stay long then ten minutes should start laundry, do dishes or run the vaccuum cleaner.

Midwives name, CNM

[LiLStar]

My midwives put this on the door:

Born At Home
Name: River Keaton
Birth Date: May 15, 2009
Weight: 10 lbs, 2oz
Length: 22 inches
Born To: Rachel & Eric & big sister Allie

Please limit your visit to ten minutes. DO NOT come in if you or your children are sick.
If you are asked to stay longer, please help out by doing one or more of the following:
Prepare or arrange a nutritious meal
Grocery shop
Run errands
Do laundry
Wash dishes, clean kitchen
Take out the garbage and recycling
Water yard, garden, houseplants
Clean, vacuum, mop

Thank you for your thoughtfulness during this special time.
Midwifery practice
Midwife, LDM, CPM
Midwife, LDM, CPM

put that way, it wasn't like I or dh were telling anyone anything, but it was clear that this was "midwife's orders"

[JorgieGirl]

Oooh, i like that! Midwifes orders. That is a great way to get the requests for privacy and help out there without looking like I'm being a snappy new mom. lol.

Great ideas everyone, thank you! I'm gonna look back on that link now, Geerbabe.

[buckeye_bebe]

I'm a sarcastic little schmuck, so I'm making up a Mad-Libs style one for home and hospital.

[JorgieGirl]

Originally Posted by buckeye_bebe

I'm a sarcastic little schmuck, so I'm making up a Mad-Libs style one for home and hospital.

oooh, do tell!!

[luv-my-boys]

I ddint have a homebirth but one of the things that we did was to turn off our phone ringers We added a msg to our phones (cell and home) with the stats of the baby and a sweet were bonding with the baby and having some family time. Were going to have a crazy week with appts so please wait for us to call before stopping by.

[TyrantOfTheWeek]

No, because I hate being mothered. We had help for like 7 hours on the day he was born, THAT'S ALL.
I was up doing my own laundry and helping with dinner 7hrs after his birth. I wasn't physically traumatized during the birth and I am not the kind of person to Milk it." Even in the week after major surgery on my BRAIN, I was up cooking dinner...
After I napped for 5ish hours after the birth, I swapped with DH so he could nap. After all, I am now the mom of 4 kids under 5yrs old and DH is only one person. What good would he have been to any of us overwhelmingly exhausted??
Did I mind it? Not in the least. This is my family and my responsibility. MIL and FIL did come down for like 3 days the week AFTER he was born, but it was more for a Christmas visit. And I felt bad because I wasn't more hostess-like.

[laughingfox]

I love these signs, but I really don't know how one would go over with my family. I'll probably just make a big deal out of telling everyone in advance that they need to call before coming over, and hope it sinks in.

I don't think it's about "milking it".
I did all my household work afterwards and was even ripping up carpet 2 days after giving birth, but that doesn't mean I wanted company.
IMO, asking for help isn't as much about getting people to help you as it is establishing that the dynamic of their visit isn't going to be the same as when you invite them over for dinner.

[gentlestrengths]

Originally Posted by TyrantOfTheWeek

No, because I hate being mothered. We had help for like 7 hours on the day he was born, THAT'S ALL.
I was up doing my own laundry and helping with dinner 7hrs after his birth. I wasn't physically traumatized during the birth and I am not the kind of person to Milk it." Even in the week after major surgery on my BRAIN, I was up cooking dinner...
After I napped for 5ish hours after the birth, I swapped with DH so he could nap. After all, I am now the mom of 4 kids under 5yrs old and DH is only one person. What good would he have been to any of us overwhelmingly exhausted??
Did I mind it? Not in the least. This is my family and my responsibility. MIL and FIL did come down for like 3 days the week AFTER he was born, but it was more for a Christmas visit. And I felt bad because I wasn't more hostess-like.

I think that if you feel up to it, then what you do is perfect for you. But I don't think all women feel like doing that, or have the personality that they would want to.

Personally, I take WELL care of my family. But after having a baby, I LOVE having my 7 days of rest and relaxation. I LOVE my husband taking care of me. I don't feel like I am taking advantage of ANYONE. My new baby deserves my undivided attention and my body deserves to be pampered and well-taken care of with rest and nourishment. I love how my husband makes meals and brings all the kids in to eat with me in my bed or on the floor. I love how he is showing his sons how to take care of a wife, and I love how he is showing his daughters how to be cherished by a husband. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I am only one person also - one person that just gave birth, and who's body DOES need recovery time.

Again, I do not think there is anything wrong with carefully moving along, but I don't think I would ever advise someone to work as hard as you sound like you've worked after your births. But each woman has to listen and be respectful to her own body, and if you know you can do that, and you want to - then it is yours to do!

Still, I don't think most women are like that. I am a midwifery student and have been to many births as a doula and as a student midwife, and most women want to rest and take time to pamper themselves and their new baby for days afterwards. They are usually the ones who take care of everything, and thers isn't anything wrong with them taking time for themselves after having a baby.

[rach&becks]

Originally Posted by LiLStar

My midwives put this on the door:

Born At Home
Name: River Keaton
Birth Date: May 15, 2009
Weight: 10 lbs, 2oz
Length: 22 inches
Born To: Rachel & Eric & big sister Allie

Please limit your visit to ten minutes. DO NOT come in if you or your children are sick.
If you are asked to stay longer, please help out by doing one or more of the following:
Prepare or arrange a nutritious meal
Grocery shop
Run errands
Do laundry
Wash dishes, clean kitchen
Take out the garbage and recycling
Water yard, garden, houseplants
Clean, vacuum, mop

Thank you for your thoughtfulness during this special time.
Midwifery practice
Midwife, LDM, CPM
Midwife, LDM, CPM

put that way, it wasn't like I or dh were telling anyone anything, but it was clear that this was "midwife's orders"

I love this one!
I am going to steal it and Just write my Midwifes name, lol.... I dont think she'll mind, hahaha

[Usually Curious]

Originally Posted by TyrantOfTheWeek

No, because I hate being mothered. We had help for like 7 hours on the day he was born, THAT'S ALL.
I was up doing my own laundry and helping with dinner 7hrs after his birth. I wasn't physically traumatized during the birth and I am not the kind of person to Milk it." Even in the week after major surgery on my BRAIN, I was up cooking dinner...
After I napped for 5ish hours after the birth, I swapped with DH so he could nap. After all, I am now the mom of 4 kids under 5yrs old and DH is only one person. What good would he have been to any of us overwhelmingly exhausted??
Did I mind it? Not in the least. This is my family and my responsibility. MIL and FIL did come down for like 3 days the week AFTER he was born, but it was more for a Christmas visit. And I felt bad because I wasn't more hostess-like.

I have very easy births/recoveries also BUT the problem with doing so much immediately PP will not show up right now. They will show up in 20 years or so. My mother recovered like you/me and worked herself immediately PP. She had so many problems later in life that she absolutely forbade me to do almost anything for the first week. You are taking a BIG chance with your future health.

[averlee]

I wish I'd put a sign on the gate. And then locked the gate! It would have said, "baby born. go away. leave the lasagna right here." (I'm partly kidding.)

[jess152]

Originally Posted by averlee

I wish I'd put a sign on the gate. And then locked the gate! It would have said, "baby born. go away. leave the lasagna right here." (I'm partly kidding.)

I love this!

[JennTheMomma]

My mom and MIL will most likely be helping me after baby is born, aswell as our MW and DH. After our first was born I could hardly walk for 2 weeks, and I couldn't get out of the bathtub by myself. It sucked, as I love being able to do everything, but I know I need to just relax. This time I don't think I'll have a problem relaxing and let other's mother me. I really need to be with baby as much as possible to help breastfeeding as last time it was disastorous.

[MamaMelis]

Originally Posted by TyrantOfTheWeek

No, because I hate being mothered. We had help for like 7 hours on the day he was born, THAT'S ALL.
I was up doing my own laundry and helping with dinner 7hrs after his birth. I wasn't physically traumatized during the birth and I am not the kind of person to Milk it." Even in the week after major surgery on my BRAIN, I was up cooking dinner...
After I napped for 5ish hours after the birth, I swapped with DH so he could nap. After all, I am now the mom of 4 kids under 5yrs old and DH is only one person. What good would he have been to any of us overwhelmingly exhausted??
Did I mind it? Not in the least. This is my family and my responsibility. MIL and FIL did come down for like 3 days the week AFTER he was born, but it was more for a Christmas visit. And I felt bad because I wasn't more hostess-like.

You know, I did this after my second was born, and I honestly regret it terribly. I was so eager to get "back in the saddle" that I didn't honor my body enough, nor my transition into being a mother to the sweet new soul that I had been entrusted with.

This go round (we had a hospital birth last time, and are planning a home birth this time) one thing that I most look forward to is laying in bed with my new baby. I am lucky in that I have a lot of friends and family to help me, and this should be very doable.

Yes they are my family, and yes they are my responsibility ~ and I now firmly believe that a huge part of that responsibility that I have to my family included self care. This time I am bound and determined to fully embrace my post partum period!