First Time in a Jewish Service

[javilu]

Hi All!

It took some guts, but I got my confidence together and told my husband I wanted to check out a Reform service. I believe in God, panentheistically construed, and DH is an atheist, so I'm on my own with this.

I'm going to a service tonight called Shabbat Alive and is described as "The 2nd Friday of the month is our "Shabbat Alive" service, which begins at 6:00 p.m. and is followed by a vegetarian/dairy potluck dinner, and a program or discussion. Music at this service often includes guitar and lively melodies."

I'm eager and excited, but also a bit nervous to go to a new place. This is only my third religious service in the past year (the first being a Catholic funeral and the second a UU service) and my first time ever in a Jewish synagogue. I've emailed the Rabbi, who seemed very nice and welcoming, but he's on sabbatical through March and the Cantor will be filling in.

Anyway, maybe I can get some encouragement here. I have felt very drawn to God recently, and I want a place where I can explore and celebrate that with others.

[Magelet]

Shabbat Shalom! I hope you enjoy the service. It's wonderful that your exploring your spiritual needs.

As for the service, my biggest piece of advice would be to be brave and introduce yourself, and say you are new. I think as the new person (having been the new person in the synogogue 6 months ago), the tendency is to assume that if people don't say hello, they are too involved in their own stuff to want to pay attention to newcomers. But having been going for 6 months, my tendancy is to assume that folks I haven't met aren't new and don't want to talk to me. Overall, not ideal, but I suspect a lot of people feel that way. I think everyone wants to be welcoming, and yet sometimes we forget that to actually be welcoming, we have to do the scary and walk up to the stranger and say hi.

So I would recommend being as outgoing as you can. Say "shabbat shalom" to people walking in with you, and even say "shabbat shalom. I'm new". Greet the person sitting next to you (and do, by all means, sit next to someone. You can't really get a feel of the service if you don't know it unless you sit next to someone who knows whats going on, at least in my shul. (In many synogogues its ok to introduce yourself quietly and say hi in the middle of the service, though you should see what other folks do)

I hope you enjoy the services, and if you don't, perhaps you might try a different service with the same or a different congregation. It might have a totally different feel. (for instance, in any occasion where there are a lot of "outsiders" such as a music festival, bar/bat mitzvah, or anything else, the synogogue tends to feel very different than a usual service.)

s

[smeisnotapirate]

"Shabbat Alive" is a special programmatic service that tends towards the camp-oriented (the Reform movement has a HUGE summer camp program).

What did you think? It's by NO means a typical Reform service, but it's an interesting one.

[javilu]

It was interesting. It was just the cantor (the rabbi is on sabbatical through March) and his guitar, and 8-10 congregates, two of which were very old. They sang songs from the siddur and I followed along as best I could. It was very beautiful and sweet and intimate. I had to leave before it ended (about 40 minutes in) because my son got fussy, but I really was touched by the experience, even though I was very much on the outside of it. Two things impacted me the most - the first being the emphasis on pure thankfulness, that the songs and prayers were all worship and gratitude, rather than imploring (as I admit my own prayer most often is). The second was more individual - a woman there said to the cantor "I really need this tonight," in reference to the service, after telling us that her daughter was with her ex-husband tonight, and I could definitely see how the Shabbat would be welcomed/needed after the experience she related. It was, all-in-all, a beautiful, touching, meaningful time...but I don't think I can be a part of it. I might still go, and I "agreed" with everything said and sung, but I think I am too much apart from it to be anything but an outsider.

But, yeah...it was good.

[smeisnotapirate]

I felt like an outsider for so long before my conversion - give it time. Glad it had meaning for you.