Is cosleeping just not right for us? Need suggestions

[saffrongirl]

I need some suggestions regarding our sleeping arrangements. Here's some background: we coslept with my first dd until she was a year old. In the beginning she would sleep basically attached to my nipple wedged in my armpit. As she got older, she was more and more like sleeping with an octopus. Her body suddenly seemed to convert to "all limb" mode and she would kick and eventually end up being the perpendicular line between the two legs of an 'H' (with dp and I being the legs). I finally asked myself in my sleep-deprived state if any of us were really getting anything great from the experience and the answer was "no". She transferred to a crib when she was a year old. It was a tricky transition but we all seemed to sleep better (her included).

Flash forward and we have a three month old dd. I knew we would definitely cosleep for awhile. I'm BFing and I knew I could get more sleep just being able to toss the boob at her in the middle of the night instead of having to get up to feed her. That has mostly worked but lately she seems to be flailing a lot in her sleep. It almost seems like she dozes and doesn't get solid deep sleep. In fact, she'll wake herself up often with her flailing. I don't think swaddling is an option because she gets REALLY angry when her arms are tied down. I am a fairly light sleeper and I wake every time she moves next to me even if she does manage to calm down and get herself back to sleep. I almost feel like I'm sleeping worse instead of better now that she's older - maybe she takes up more room in bed now too.

Anyway, does anyone have any suggestions? I can't imagine just putting her in her own crib alone right now - kind of feels like sticking her in a dog-house in the backyard (like that weird of a concept to me since she's so little). Is co-sleeping just not right for us since she's so "flaily" and I'm such a light sleeper? What can I do? I'm just so damn tired and crabby.

[Punchy Kaby]

Saffrongirl, I hear you, I am tired and crabby as well. My DD is 8 months. We did not cosleep with our first as I couldn't get a deep sleep with him next to me. And We tried with DD and did it on and off. Sometimes it seamed easier to have her there and just stick a nipple in her mouth but as she got older (4 months) she started moving a lot and rolling over and she was so aware of everything around her, I think she started waking up more because I was there right next to her. BTW, DH was not into cosleeping, DD kept waking him up, so he was sleeping in the guest room. Then when she was 6 months she would start crawling in her sleep (almost like sleepwalking), and me grabbing her woke her up, then she wanted play time.

I am of the opinion you need to do what is right for the whole family, not just the smallest member. You could transition her to a crib that is in your room right next to you. You can also start with daytime naps so she can get used to the new sleeping place and gradually ease in to having her there for the night as well. There is also the Arms Reach Co sleeper, but I do not know the weight limit, your DD might already be close to the limit.

Good luck!

[Abraisme]

Can you side-car your crib? My DD sleeps in a homemade co-sleeper that my DH built (it now has a mattress and bedding of course). She also sleeps better in her own space and she doesn't wake me as easily if she's on her own mattress.

Luckily she enjoys being swaddled still at 5mo, which makes the flailing a lot better. You might try swaddling, just give her a minute or two after you swaddle her to calm down and see if she'll relax into it. Other than that, the best suggestion I have is to keep her near you on her own mattress. Good luck!

[annettemarie]

Please see the poster's thread here in Nighttime Parenting, since this is specifically a co-sleeping question and not necessarily one about parenting an infant.