Birthday Party RSVP Issue- Need help quick!

[MacKinnon]

So-- my Kindergarten aged daughter was invited to a birthday party before Christmas break. The invite was left her school bag until Sunday night, January 3rd. RSVP was due by January 2nd. I asked DD and she swore she didn't know this child. I let it go. But didn't call to RSVP negative, which I should have, I realize but this was not a typical week for several reasons. Fast forward to today, DD comes home saying she is going to this party tomorrow. I'm concerned now she told the little girl she was coming, and the mom has counted her as an RSVP. But I also don't want to call and say, "Hi, yes, we didn't RSVP, and I know the party is in three hours, but can we come anyway?" I'm not sure what to do!!

I'm considering calling and saying, "Hi, this is A.'s mom. I wanted to touch place about your daughter's party today and apologize for not RSVPing, the invite was left in with the Christmas party things. A is telling me she told your daughter she was coming, and I wanted to see if you counted her as attending or not."

Help! I don't know what to do, I don't know this mom at all. The party is at a public place (bounce house) and I think all the girls in her K class were invited. DD will be super disappointed to be left out. Ugh...

[Irishmommy]

I think your plan is fine. They can usually swing the food, but your dd may not get a loot bag, if loot bags are the done thing in your area.

[pianojazzgirl]

I think your plan sounds perfect and is just what I'd do in the situation.

[zebra15]

IDK, usually places like that are 'pay per kid' which is why they have an RSVP date. The host needs a head count to let the Bounce House know how many are coming so they set up a cost package etc. (How many kids equates how much food to order, things are prepaid, ) but I would call the mom and ask anyway. I would also call the bounce house place and ask them too.

[octobermom]

I've had simple birthday parties for my DD over the last 2 years no one ever bothered to RSVP yet say out of 12 possible guests on average 8 have shown up. Its kinda annoying yes but expected I wont invite more than we can potentialy handle.

Deanna

[SunshineJ]

Seriously the fact that you bother to call at ALL will matter! It amazes me how many people never RSVP to things. I'd call and tell her exactly what you put here - that the invitation got mixed in with Christmas things, it was recently discovered, etc. I'm sure it will be fine!

[eepster]

Originally Posted by zebra15

IDK, usually places like that are 'pay per kid' which is why they have an RSVP date. The host needs a head count to let the Bounce House know how many are coming so they set up a cost package etc. (How many kids equates how much food to order, things are prepaid, ) but I would call the mom and ask anyway. I would also call the bounce house place and ask them too.

This is why I think she should call. If the mom did count her as coming and she doesn't show, then the mom will have paid for a no show. I would call and ask, but be very flexible about whether or not your DD was counted. I would avoid making the hostess feel like you DD will be horrifically disappointed if she can't go.

I don't see the point in calling the bounce house, they will just have a basic head count, not a specific guest list.

[HistoryMom]

Originally Posted by ilovemyavery

I'm considering calling and saying, "Hi, this is A.'s mom. I wanted to touch place about your daughter's party today and apologize for not RSVPing, the invite was left in with the Christmas party things. A is telling me she told your daughter she was coming, and I wanted to see if you counted her as attending or not."

.

your response sounds really good. go with that and just resolve to be more on top of RSVPing in the future. Stuff around the holidays is hard and I'm betting the mom will just be glad to hear *something* even at a late date.

[Ellen Griswold]

I'd call - it seems the nicest thing to do in this situation. We're all allowed to make mistakes (like not RSVPing...no, certainly, I've never done such a thing, right....). It models polite behavior to your daughter too.

[lilyka]

definitely call. ask her if it is too late, that you understand if it is, your plans chaned, etc. apologize profusely for not calling before, explain why blah blah blah. Honestly, I generally have extra goody bags available. Our parties are pretty small, and iusually end up calling the guests to get an RSVP so I can plan.

She probably did not get a lot of RSVPs either (and in the absence of an RSVP a host should assume the guest is coming) and any sort of communication wioll likely be appreciated.

[MacKinnon]

OK, sorry I didn't have time this AM to update I called at 10am and left a message that said something like what I had posted in the original post- "Hi, this is Carrie, A's mom. I was calling about the party today. I want to apologize that we lost the invite and didn't RSVP, it got caught up with the Christmas party things. We are not expecting to come at this point, but we are available to come if your count had included A. I can be reached at.... If you don't have time to call back, I will assume there is not room for A., and I totally understand! Again, my sincere apologies."

She called back and talked to DH and said no big deal, there was more than enough room for A. to come, and she would love to have us. So we dressed quickly, ran and grabbed a present, and made it to the party ontime. DD had a blast! It was very fun. All's well that ends well

FWIW- this particular places allows for 15 children for free, then $8 per child after, with the final count done that day at the party.

Thanks for the advice!

[HistoryMom]

[TiredX2]

Awesome! That sounds like a great message you left. I'll keep this in mind for future times.