I feel like absolute sh*t. I'm into Gentle Discipline - that's completely what I believe in. And I spanked my son. 
I don't know how to handle him anymore. He's 3.5 years old. He has gone from being the calmest, sweetest and easiest kid to a sweet, crazy, wild little tantrum-thrower. From the moment he wakes up he destroys everything in his path. He throws EVERYTHING. He doesn't play "nice" with his toys. He throws them. He goes through drawers, cabinets, closets and tears things out and throws them. He grabs anything that can write and writes all over the walls, furniture, decorations, clothes...anything. He tears papers. He spills cat food all over the place. He throws dirty dishes everywhere. He throws food. He stuffs things into other things. He'll grab random items and stuff them into a drawer or into a bag. He's obsessed with stuffing things into other things. There is a cat bed that he just crams with all this stuff. My house looks like complete crap. We still have our tree up (plan was to keep it up until Little Christmas but we haven't been home to take it down and bring it to compost yet) and he throws things into it. He has destroyed so many things. I can't have anything nice because he will break it, rip it or draw on it.
I get so depressed looking at my house anymore. I can clean all I want but it will be detroyed again in less than two minutes. I don't even want to be in my own house anymore because it is so wrecked. It looks so....I can't hink of the word...but with all the crap all over the place, the food stains on the carpet (this is an apartment, btw and we will be charged for ALL damage when we move) - and there are A LOT of food stains - , the toys and their parts all over the place. There are clothes strewn everywhere because he goes through drawers and closets and takes out clothes and throws them all over the house. So much food gets wasted. We just wasted the last roll of toliet paper because he threw it in the toliet. And books...ohmigawd...books are everywhere. I have overdue library books because they are all scattered and I can't even find every single one.
I don't know how to deal with him anymore. He doesn't listen to anything. I know you're not supposed to say "no""stop""don't" and I have really tried to refrain from that language. But I don't know what else to do. No matter how I phrase things he still doesn't listen. I am at my wits end. I can't get anything done. Everything is a hassle. Getting him dressed to go out is one of the worst parts of my day. There is a lot of chasing, him screaming, him hitting and kicking and struggling. We can never just pick up and go.
Earlier, I had to use the bathroom. Just a little minute to myself. He had already been climbing the walls. When I came out, he had pulled out all the DVD's from the TV stand, scribbled in black marker all over - and I mean all over - my coffee table, threw a huge pillow into the tree, dumped cat food and ripped up some mail. That was in a minute. I spanked him. It was horrible. We both cried. And spanking doesn't work. He threw stuff a few minutes later.
I try activities to help him focus. I try coloring with him, doing crafts, playing games, singing songs, making food (I'm horrible in the kitchen so he doesn't get to help with a lot of cooking), reading stories. Some crafts with keep his attention for a little bit, but he just does the same old throwing and tearing stuff. We got him a nice little easel from IKEA that he was so proud of. He threw something very heavy at it and cracked the dry erase part. He won't draw at it. He'll throw things at it or rips up the paper from the roll.
We go out. I've been going out with him more which may or may not be a good idea as he can be a terror in stores. I can't take him to the library or local bookstore anymore because they have train tables and he throws the trains around, rips the tracks apart, steals from other kids and then has hold tantrums when I remove him. I've been taking him out more because I can't stand to be in the house with him anymore. I feel like I'm going to go mad. He loves to be outdoors and I try to get him out often. It's been hard lately because we've had a lot of wind and temps only in the mid-twenties. The wind keeps the chills down to nearly 0 degrees on some days. I'm not a sissy about having my kid outside in the winter, but it's been too damn cold for me, lately. He does go to gymnastics and swimming, which he loves. We also do storytime/music n dance at the library sometimes and he enjoys that.
He is obsessed with his penis. I know it's very normal for him to play with it and explore himself, but now I'm wondering if it's an issue. His hand is constantly in his pants. He loves to talk about his penis all.day.long. It can be cute at times, but it's getting very old, especially when we're in public. I talk to him every damn time we go somewhere and explain how touching and talking about his penis is not okay in the store, the library, the zoo, etc. I read that excessive attention to the genitals can mean the child's emotional needs aren't being met.
I know I must being doing something wrong. I have been trying to pinpoint if something changed that would change his behavior. But I can't think of anything. His diet hasn't changed. I feel like all I ever do is yell. I NEVER wanted to be that parent who yells all the time. I know too many people like that and I vowed to never be like them. He has a pretty set routine. We get up, have breakfast, play, take a bath/shower, go out somewhere, go have lunch with daddy, come home and nap, get up, play, have dinner, go out with daddy, bedtime. I work three days every other week and 2.5 days on the other weeks. He is home with daddy or with my mom when I work (just every other Saturday with her) and his routines with them are pretty standard. When we go out, I explain where we are going and if I know there may be issues (not sharing the train at the library), I tell him what I expect. It breaks my heart because he is a really sweet, loving kid. He's not "bad." He's not really violent towards us unless he is getting dressed or if he's having a tantrum at the store. He's not at all rough with the cats. He's just wild and destructive. I've tried taking away toys when he throws them but he just finds something else to throw. I have tried putting away a bunch of toys and just keeping a select few out...nope, no change. I don't want to ruin him, but I feel like i'm at my wits end and I don't know how to do anything else other than yell, scream and now hit.
I don't know how to handle him anymore. He's 3.5 years old. He has gone from being the calmest, sweetest and easiest kid to a sweet, crazy, wild little tantrum-thrower. From the moment he wakes up he destroys everything in his path. He throws EVERYTHING. He doesn't play "nice" with his toys. He throws them. He goes through drawers, cabinets, closets and tears things out and throws them. He grabs anything that can write and writes all over the walls, furniture, decorations, clothes...anything. He tears papers. He spills cat food all over the place. He throws dirty dishes everywhere. He throws food. He stuffs things into other things. He'll grab random items and stuff them into a drawer or into a bag. He's obsessed with stuffing things into other things. There is a cat bed that he just crams with all this stuff. My house looks like complete crap. We still have our tree up (plan was to keep it up until Little Christmas but we haven't been home to take it down and bring it to compost yet) and he throws things into it. He has destroyed so many things. I can't have anything nice because he will break it, rip it or draw on it.
I get so depressed looking at my house anymore. I can clean all I want but it will be detroyed again in less than two minutes. I don't even want to be in my own house anymore because it is so wrecked. It looks so....I can't hink of the word...but with all the crap all over the place, the food stains on the carpet (this is an apartment, btw and we will be charged for ALL damage when we move) - and there are A LOT of food stains - , the toys and their parts all over the place. There are clothes strewn everywhere because he goes through drawers and closets and takes out clothes and throws them all over the house. So much food gets wasted. We just wasted the last roll of toliet paper because he threw it in the toliet. And books...ohmigawd...books are everywhere. I have overdue library books because they are all scattered and I can't even find every single one.
I don't know how to deal with him anymore. He doesn't listen to anything. I know you're not supposed to say "no""stop""don't" and I have really tried to refrain from that language. But I don't know what else to do. No matter how I phrase things he still doesn't listen. I am at my wits end. I can't get anything done. Everything is a hassle. Getting him dressed to go out is one of the worst parts of my day. There is a lot of chasing, him screaming, him hitting and kicking and struggling. We can never just pick up and go.
Earlier, I had to use the bathroom. Just a little minute to myself. He had already been climbing the walls. When I came out, he had pulled out all the DVD's from the TV stand, scribbled in black marker all over - and I mean all over - my coffee table, threw a huge pillow into the tree, dumped cat food and ripped up some mail. That was in a minute. I spanked him. It was horrible. We both cried. And spanking doesn't work. He threw stuff a few minutes later.
I try activities to help him focus. I try coloring with him, doing crafts, playing games, singing songs, making food (I'm horrible in the kitchen so he doesn't get to help with a lot of cooking), reading stories. Some crafts with keep his attention for a little bit, but he just does the same old throwing and tearing stuff. We got him a nice little easel from IKEA that he was so proud of. He threw something very heavy at it and cracked the dry erase part. He won't draw at it. He'll throw things at it or rips up the paper from the roll.
We go out. I've been going out with him more which may or may not be a good idea as he can be a terror in stores. I can't take him to the library or local bookstore anymore because they have train tables and he throws the trains around, rips the tracks apart, steals from other kids and then has hold tantrums when I remove him. I've been taking him out more because I can't stand to be in the house with him anymore. I feel like I'm going to go mad. He loves to be outdoors and I try to get him out often. It's been hard lately because we've had a lot of wind and temps only in the mid-twenties. The wind keeps the chills down to nearly 0 degrees on some days. I'm not a sissy about having my kid outside in the winter, but it's been too damn cold for me, lately. He does go to gymnastics and swimming, which he loves. We also do storytime/music n dance at the library sometimes and he enjoys that.
He is obsessed with his penis. I know it's very normal for him to play with it and explore himself, but now I'm wondering if it's an issue. His hand is constantly in his pants. He loves to talk about his penis all.day.long. It can be cute at times, but it's getting very old, especially when we're in public. I talk to him every damn time we go somewhere and explain how touching and talking about his penis is not okay in the store, the library, the zoo, etc. I read that excessive attention to the genitals can mean the child's emotional needs aren't being met.
I know I must being doing something wrong. I have been trying to pinpoint if something changed that would change his behavior. But I can't think of anything. His diet hasn't changed. I feel like all I ever do is yell. I NEVER wanted to be that parent who yells all the time. I know too many people like that and I vowed to never be like them. He has a pretty set routine. We get up, have breakfast, play, take a bath/shower, go out somewhere, go have lunch with daddy, come home and nap, get up, play, have dinner, go out with daddy, bedtime. I work three days every other week and 2.5 days on the other weeks. He is home with daddy or with my mom when I work (just every other Saturday with her) and his routines with them are pretty standard. When we go out, I explain where we are going and if I know there may be issues (not sharing the train at the library), I tell him what I expect. It breaks my heart because he is a really sweet, loving kid. He's not "bad." He's not really violent towards us unless he is getting dressed or if he's having a tantrum at the store. He's not at all rough with the cats. He's just wild and destructive. I've tried taking away toys when he throws them but he just finds something else to throw. I have tried putting away a bunch of toys and just keeping a select few out...nope, no change. I don't want to ruin him, but I feel like i'm at my wits end and I don't know how to do anything else other than yell, scream and now hit.
BTDT with regards to the punishment. A few thoughts
reading the last paragrah I have to ask again has he been evulated and mostly has he been evulated for behavioral and bi polar issues. Honestly between the extreme destructive behavior and the "obsession" with his priviates to me say you might really want to consider getting him evulated. I do realize little boys can be courous and with out the first part I'd say its "normal" but with the aggression a red flag for me is being raised..
s
Last time he found a marker he colored his tummy ( still hasn`t come off), and the dining table while I was nursing the baby.
)
The past weekend and yesterday he has been very zen, easy-going and less destructive. That may just be a fluke. 
I'm a lot more optimistic that things will work out and that if there *is* and issue (food sensitivity, ADHD, etc.) that we will be able to figure it out and work through it.
