or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Family Planning › We're done having babies--now what?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

We're done having babies--now what?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I'd love to hear experiences with what y'all have done when you're done having babies.

I'm not interested in using hormonal birth control.

Originally, we'd planned for dh to have a vasectomy. Then I read about a study that showed increased risk for dementia later in life in men who have had them. Maybe a very small risk (it was a small study), but I can't see going forward knowing that.

A tubal ligation isn't likely to be covered by insurance, is it? Now, of course, I wish I'd had one during my last c-sec. But I wasn't at all ready then.

I recently was reading about a non surgical tube blocker (Essure?)--it seems to work very well, but is a relatively new technology.

I'm 40, so my years of fertility are waning--maybe we should just continue using barrier methods until menopause hits?

thanks for any experiences/insight you can share.
post #2 of 12
I'm curious too. In fact, I was just coming to ask this too.

I wouldn't mind using hormone birth control, but I'm still nursing, so it's not really an option. (right?)

We're using CTA and condoms, but we both dislike condoms. Maybe I should get a diaphram or cervical cap? hmm... I've never done that before, what are everyone elses experiences with those?

What are some other options?
post #3 of 12
post #4 of 12
DH will get a VS when we are sure that we are done. We still vascillate between having 3 and 4 kids (I am PG with #3) so we will not do anything permanent before we are absolutely positive.

Even with EBF my fertility returns very soon after birth, an IUD is not an option for me (horrible experience with Mirena after my second child), the mini pill made me bleed constantly, we suck at condoms and I find NFP too hard while nursing/up at night etc......so we will likely use a diaphragm until we are comfortable with our decision to either have another or that our family is complete, when he will go for a VS.

I have put in a lot of years preventing, being pregnant, nursing, etc.......the VS is his turn to contribute!
post #5 of 12
I've known a few people to have to essure procedure and were thrilled with the results and quick recovery, one had it done as long ago as 2003, and as recent as 2007. When I'm done having babies I plan on having the procedure done.
post #6 of 12
Hi Pinky! (not sure if you remember me from LLL long ago)

You may already know this, but the vasectomy data is based on one survey of just over 100 men. The form of dementia is also extremely rare. We all have much better chances of getting alzheimers or vascular dementia than anyone has of getting this type (can't remember the name). It's really preliminary data and considering the number of men who get vasectomies vs. the numbers that get this type of dementia, even if there is a link it is a super rare complication. Even the researchers said more data was needed. I totally get if you want no risk, but I wanted to put this out there in case others reading didn't know about this connection.

As far as tubal ligations go, I will tell you that as a nurse practitioner I have seen a surprising number of women who develop really crazy, heavy periods in the years following their TL. After seeing this several times I asked some other NP and midwife friends about it and they had seen this as well.

I don't know about much about the Essure. I have had patients in this situation opt for a Paragard IUD, which has no hormones and is good for up to 12 years (maybe even longer). Some people love it and some hate it. There can definitely be bleeding issues.

We have been really happy with dh's vasectomy.
post #7 of 12
I won't be popular for my response but I thought I'd just add my experience and just say that I know everyone's experience is different obviously...My Dh had a vasectomy when our fourth child was 1.We were sure we were done.I was really sure...fast forward 4 years and suddenly out of the blue I wanted more children.I couldn't explain it, and no matter what I did I could not change how I felt.After 3 years my desire didn't waver.So my dh had his vas reversed. For us, it ended happily with a beautiful son.Many couples who reverse don't have the same happy ending.
Having said that I can understand why you wouldn't want to use hormonal B.C. I wouldn't either - perhaps the barrier method would be best til you are sure you want to go ahead with a vasectomy?
I hope I haven't offended anyone, I'd just hate anyone to go through the heartbreak I went through.
post #8 of 12
My cousin used Essure and she loved it. If you're really sure, I think it's ok (although I haven't done the research myself.)

For me, I just only date women from herre on out. That's the surest form of BC there is.
post #9 of 12
Originally Posted by kalisis View Post
For me, I just only date women from herre on out. That's the surest form of BC there is.
Hee hee! That's great! But I honestly don't think my husband would be too happy if I did that.
post #10 of 12
I say it in every one of these posts - get your tubes tied and thermal ablasion. Be done with it forever! Check with your insurance. I paid $100 for the whole thing. It was quick, easy, outpatient, done with lasers. I had a bladder sling put in and it's all like new down there. Bladder sling is a 6 week recovery but the rest is much easier and very, very quick.

Everyone around here always says your cycles will be hell after a tubal and blah blah blah but get thermal ablasion done and you will have little or no period. My neighbor has no period at all. I have one day of bleeding. I empty a full diva cup MAYBE 3 times during a cycle. The rest is just spotting/very light bleeding. Literally, if I don't diva I use panty shields.

If YOU are done have babies take care of it yourself. Don't count on your husband for it. Just my liberated opinion!
post #11 of 12
My husband and I aren't 100% sure we're done, and I think he's a little nervous about getting a V. So I have the copper IUD and I'm really, really happy with it. My periods are a little heavier, but not enough to bother me, I never have to think about BC, it lasts for 10 years, it is really effective, and it is very easily reversed. I think in the next couple of years if we decide not to have another, I'll have it taken out and he'll get the surgery.
post #12 of 12

I know I am two years late for this discussion but I just came across it now.  I had never heard of thermal ablation before, so thank you for putting it out there.  It is however, not something I would ever consider doing unless I had a medical reason for it, such as endometriosis.  Burning/destroying a perfectly healthy organ in my body just does not seem healthy or safe, and I wonder what the lifelong effects could be--cancer? Does anyone even know? 


I am glad you don't have any problems with your procedures.  There are, unfortunately, women who do.  Going into something like this, there are no guarantees either way.  Someone IS going to have difficulty, and someone isn't.  Who knows what will happen to us until it's all said and done?


We use condom/withdrawal method (and I am aware of my cycles).  We have gotten pregnant when we choose and never had an oopsie.  I am still at an age where it would be ok to have an accidental pregnancy, but once I am older, I may consider doing something more "permanent", but then again, maybe not.  I like to work with nature as much as I can, rather than against it, and I don't like to take drastic measures or health risks.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Family Planning
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Family Planning › We're done having babies--now what?