My son has always been high-energy and very spirited. For years I have been dismissing a lot of his behavior as something that comes with having a spirited toddler, and telling myself that he will grow out of it at his own pace. Now he’s 4. Last week, I took him to a creative movement class, as a trial. I knew there was a high possibility he would have trouble with the class, and he did. In watching him interacting with the teachers and other kids, and watching him try to do the class, my eyes were opened to a lot of things that I haven’t really been thinking about. I went home and did some research, and I’m almost positive he has Asperger’s. I did this PDD assessment: http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html and it shocked me how many of the questions described my son so precisely. I wanted to lay out the symptoms I’ve noticed, in hopes that some parents of kids with Asperger’s could tell me if I’m on track. Be warned: it’s long.
-He never makes eye contact unless you specifically ask him to. If you ask him to look into your eyes, he will, but he’ll look away pretty quickly. Sometimes he will hold your gaze if you make it a game. He says hi to people when he comes into a room, but in kind of a fly-by manner, not stopping and not looking at them directly.
-When you say his name, he never turns and looks at you or acknowledges that he’s heard you. If you ask him to do something or to come over to you, he will sometimes comply after 3-4 tries, but usually it takes going over to him and physically guiding him. However, his hearing is extremely sharp. Often I will hear him repeat something that I’ve said in a whisper in the next room.
-He shows interest in things around him, but he never, ever asks questions about things. He never went through a “what’s that” phase, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him point at something. He never shows others things that interest him.
-He doesn’t like certain kind of touches. His hair is long because he completely freaks out at the suggestion of a haircut. He won’t let me brush his hair, and washing it always results in tears. We cut his fingernails when he is asleep. If I try to examine part of his skin closely, he pulls away. He loves hugs and firm touches.
-He speaks very clearly and has a large vocabulary, but seems to communicate at the level of a 2-year-old. About 70% of the time, when you ask him a question, he will repeat it back to you. For example, “Who is your favorite train?” “Who is my [sometimes “your”] favorite train?” or “What’s wrong?” “What’s wrong, Mommy?” Sometimes he still mixes up “my” and “your.” Sometimes he gives yes or no answers, but rarely will he go into detail about anything. If you ask him what he did today, he will tell you one thing, but finds it difficult to recall a list of things he did.
-He really likes to be told a sequence of events that’s going to take place, such as the events leading up to taking a trip on a plane, step by step. He will demand that you repeat it over and over until he has memorized it, then later he will say, “Mommy will tell about going on the plane again.”
-When he wants something, he will often say, “Daddy will throw away the banana peel,” instead of “Daddy, will you throw away the banana peel?”
-Despite his lagging communication skills, he reads fluently and writes. He knew all his letters at 18 months, all his upper-case and lower-case letters and letter sounds by 2, and learned shapes, colors, and numbers very early and very easily. We never drilled him on these things. He was obsessed with letters the first time we told him “that’s an A,” and would bring us letter blocks so we could tell him what they were before he was even really talking. He also discovered Starfall when he was just under 2, and became obsessed with it. When he had just turned 3, he had been able to count to 20 for awhile. He saw a 1-100 number chart at his cousins’ house and learned to count to 100 in about half an hour by asking me to count up to 100 a few times, then doing it himself. Now he’s doing addition and subtraction very easily. He is writing complete sentences now as well. He learned to write letters and numbers on his own, so he does it in an interesting way. I haven’t corrected him.
-He memorizes books, videos, and random text that he sees. A few months ago, he read and memorized Blueberries for Sal, which is quite a long book. Last week, he noticed the cleaning instructions on our wall heater, and spent the next 4 days doing nothing but reading, memorizing, reciting, and writing out these approximately 50 words. If he likes a song, he will make us repeat it over and over and over again, freaking out if we don’t (this started at the age of 4 months with Bananaphone). If he’s watching a video on youtube, he will often rewind and play the same 5-15 seconds over and over again. He loves it when CDs skip. If we say a word or phrase that he likes the sound of, he will ask us to repeat it over and over. About a year ago, he became fascinated when I said “ecosystem” and made me say it about 50 times.
-He has always been obsessed with cars, trains, planes, and anything with wheels. I know this is quite common in a lot of kids, but he will spend hours on the floor lining up cars or trains and watching their wheels spin at eye level. He also has a love-hate relationship with propellers and spinning things. He is both terrified and fascinated by helicopters, prop planes, and fans. Currently he has a Thomas obsession, but I think he shares this with a large percentage of 2-5 year olds.
-He very rarely engages in imaginary play. When he does, it is to act out a Thomas book or video with his trains. Occasionally I see him acting out a story that’s original, but it rarely seems to make sense or follow a narrative structure. It will be like, “’Hello Percy,’ said Thomas. ‘Thank you for racing with me,’ said Percy. Then he backed up 2 times to the next station.” I sometimes try to engage him in imaginary play, but he doesn’t seem very interested and looks at me like I’m weird.
-He has huge difficulty with transitions. Since he was born it has taken us 1-2 hours to get him to sleep (and that’s after the bed time ritual is over and the lights are out). He has a set idea of how things need to go, and if they go differently he has a melt down. Once, he thought we were turning one way in the car, and we turned another. He screamed and cried for 20 minutes. I have to knock on the door when I come home from work so he can let me in. If I let myself in he has a melt-down. The same things happen if I flush the toilet, put his socks on the wrong way, close the car door for him, and a variety of other things.
-In crowded places he gets extremely over-excited, can’t stop going, and is completely incapable of listening or following directions/rules that he knows by heart. We usually have to end up leaving the grocery store, the farmer’s market, story time at the library, etc. with him thrashing and screaming in tears. He is often resistant for no apparent reason. If you ask him to go pee, he will hold it until he pees his pants, just because you asked.
-He is extremely afraid of the blender, fans, helicopters (gets very uneasy when he hears one, completely freaks out when he sees one up close), and the idea of thunder storms (I still don’t think he’s actually noticed one in real life). He is bothered by the vacuum cleaner, but tolerates it sometimes.
-He is fixated on my moles, and will reach into my sleeve or down the neck of my shirt if he’s upset and at bed time.
-He is and always has been a very picky eater. He won’t eat anything creamy, like yogurt, and won’t drink anything but water.
-He laughs at inappropriate times, like if someone is crying or angry. He gets upset when people yell, and will tell them to stop.
-With other kids, he follows them around and mimicks them, rather than interacting with them. He likes chasing and being chased. When other kids talk, he seems delighted, watches their faces closely, and mimicks their tone of voice or patterns of speech. Often he will follow kids around very closely, and doesn’t seem to have a concept of personal space. If other kids try to engage him in conversation, he will either ignore them or look at them, amused, and repeat what they say. Occasionally, he will ask another kid to follow him or chase him, but he doesn’t make eye contact.
If you got this far, thank you for reading. We're going to make an appointment with a pediatrician (he hasn't been since he was 2 weeks old) so they can refer us to get an assessment. I just wanted some input from others first.
-He never makes eye contact unless you specifically ask him to. If you ask him to look into your eyes, he will, but he’ll look away pretty quickly. Sometimes he will hold your gaze if you make it a game. He says hi to people when he comes into a room, but in kind of a fly-by manner, not stopping and not looking at them directly.
-When you say his name, he never turns and looks at you or acknowledges that he’s heard you. If you ask him to do something or to come over to you, he will sometimes comply after 3-4 tries, but usually it takes going over to him and physically guiding him. However, his hearing is extremely sharp. Often I will hear him repeat something that I’ve said in a whisper in the next room.
-He shows interest in things around him, but he never, ever asks questions about things. He never went through a “what’s that” phase, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him point at something. He never shows others things that interest him.
-He doesn’t like certain kind of touches. His hair is long because he completely freaks out at the suggestion of a haircut. He won’t let me brush his hair, and washing it always results in tears. We cut his fingernails when he is asleep. If I try to examine part of his skin closely, he pulls away. He loves hugs and firm touches.
-He speaks very clearly and has a large vocabulary, but seems to communicate at the level of a 2-year-old. About 70% of the time, when you ask him a question, he will repeat it back to you. For example, “Who is your favorite train?” “Who is my [sometimes “your”] favorite train?” or “What’s wrong?” “What’s wrong, Mommy?” Sometimes he still mixes up “my” and “your.” Sometimes he gives yes or no answers, but rarely will he go into detail about anything. If you ask him what he did today, he will tell you one thing, but finds it difficult to recall a list of things he did.
-He really likes to be told a sequence of events that’s going to take place, such as the events leading up to taking a trip on a plane, step by step. He will demand that you repeat it over and over until he has memorized it, then later he will say, “Mommy will tell about going on the plane again.”
-When he wants something, he will often say, “Daddy will throw away the banana peel,” instead of “Daddy, will you throw away the banana peel?”
-Despite his lagging communication skills, he reads fluently and writes. He knew all his letters at 18 months, all his upper-case and lower-case letters and letter sounds by 2, and learned shapes, colors, and numbers very early and very easily. We never drilled him on these things. He was obsessed with letters the first time we told him “that’s an A,” and would bring us letter blocks so we could tell him what they were before he was even really talking. He also discovered Starfall when he was just under 2, and became obsessed with it. When he had just turned 3, he had been able to count to 20 for awhile. He saw a 1-100 number chart at his cousins’ house and learned to count to 100 in about half an hour by asking me to count up to 100 a few times, then doing it himself. Now he’s doing addition and subtraction very easily. He is writing complete sentences now as well. He learned to write letters and numbers on his own, so he does it in an interesting way. I haven’t corrected him.
-He memorizes books, videos, and random text that he sees. A few months ago, he read and memorized Blueberries for Sal, which is quite a long book. Last week, he noticed the cleaning instructions on our wall heater, and spent the next 4 days doing nothing but reading, memorizing, reciting, and writing out these approximately 50 words. If he likes a song, he will make us repeat it over and over and over again, freaking out if we don’t (this started at the age of 4 months with Bananaphone). If he’s watching a video on youtube, he will often rewind and play the same 5-15 seconds over and over again. He loves it when CDs skip. If we say a word or phrase that he likes the sound of, he will ask us to repeat it over and over. About a year ago, he became fascinated when I said “ecosystem” and made me say it about 50 times.
-He has always been obsessed with cars, trains, planes, and anything with wheels. I know this is quite common in a lot of kids, but he will spend hours on the floor lining up cars or trains and watching their wheels spin at eye level. He also has a love-hate relationship with propellers and spinning things. He is both terrified and fascinated by helicopters, prop planes, and fans. Currently he has a Thomas obsession, but I think he shares this with a large percentage of 2-5 year olds.
-He very rarely engages in imaginary play. When he does, it is to act out a Thomas book or video with his trains. Occasionally I see him acting out a story that’s original, but it rarely seems to make sense or follow a narrative structure. It will be like, “’Hello Percy,’ said Thomas. ‘Thank you for racing with me,’ said Percy. Then he backed up 2 times to the next station.” I sometimes try to engage him in imaginary play, but he doesn’t seem very interested and looks at me like I’m weird.
-He has huge difficulty with transitions. Since he was born it has taken us 1-2 hours to get him to sleep (and that’s after the bed time ritual is over and the lights are out). He has a set idea of how things need to go, and if they go differently he has a melt down. Once, he thought we were turning one way in the car, and we turned another. He screamed and cried for 20 minutes. I have to knock on the door when I come home from work so he can let me in. If I let myself in he has a melt-down. The same things happen if I flush the toilet, put his socks on the wrong way, close the car door for him, and a variety of other things.
-In crowded places he gets extremely over-excited, can’t stop going, and is completely incapable of listening or following directions/rules that he knows by heart. We usually have to end up leaving the grocery store, the farmer’s market, story time at the library, etc. with him thrashing and screaming in tears. He is often resistant for no apparent reason. If you ask him to go pee, he will hold it until he pees his pants, just because you asked.
-He is extremely afraid of the blender, fans, helicopters (gets very uneasy when he hears one, completely freaks out when he sees one up close), and the idea of thunder storms (I still don’t think he’s actually noticed one in real life). He is bothered by the vacuum cleaner, but tolerates it sometimes.
-He is fixated on my moles, and will reach into my sleeve or down the neck of my shirt if he’s upset and at bed time.
-He is and always has been a very picky eater. He won’t eat anything creamy, like yogurt, and won’t drink anything but water.
-He laughs at inappropriate times, like if someone is crying or angry. He gets upset when people yell, and will tell them to stop.
-With other kids, he follows them around and mimicks them, rather than interacting with them. He likes chasing and being chased. When other kids talk, he seems delighted, watches their faces closely, and mimicks their tone of voice or patterns of speech. Often he will follow kids around very closely, and doesn’t seem to have a concept of personal space. If other kids try to engage him in conversation, he will either ignore them or look at them, amused, and repeat what they say. Occasionally, he will ask another kid to follow him or chase him, but he doesn’t make eye contact.
If you got this far, thank you for reading. We're going to make an appointment with a pediatrician (he hasn't been since he was 2 weeks old) so they can refer us to get an assessment. I just wanted some input from others first.
