Ok, I was feeling empowered by everyone's outrage and decided not to let a single minute of planning this "intervention" continue. So I called Jane this morning. Guess what? She was completely depressed because not a single person thought it was a good idea. LOL!! Thank GOD everyone else was level-headed.
She spent a part of our conversation trying to convince me that this really was something positive and life-changing for Anne. It turns out Jane has spoken to Anne on numerous occasions about her weight, but it has (according Jane) "no effect", so she felt that this was the next logical step to try to get Anne to change.
I tried to offer my two cents about just loving and supporting Anne for who she is, and letting her fight her own battles on her own time and in her own way. But I'm sure it fell on deaf ears. Jane was too into feeling sorry for herself that her fabulous idea was shot down by everyone. (I had to try hard to not sound like this
Maybe I should have had more faith in everyone else that this would never get off the ground. I just don't know most of this group of friends, so I honestly didn't know what the reaction would be. So I've been thinking this morning about it and where to go from here. Should I even mention this to Anne? I don't think so. I don't think anything positive could come from her knowing such a plan was ever discussed. (Although she might be pleased to know that Jane was the only one who thought it was a good idea.) And, you know, I should give Anne credit... she'd probably just laugh at her life-long drama queen friend for cooking up such an insane idea, especially if Jane has been badgering her about her weight for a long time. But... who knows.
My plan is not to say anything to Anne about this party that never was. I don't plan to talk to her about her weight. If she wants to talk about it, that's fine... but I woudn't know how to bring it up in a way that wouldn't be potentially hurtful, so I won't. Is that burying my head in the sand? I don't know. I do know she see's a doctor with some regularity. I think the doctor is far more equipped to have these discussions with Anne than I am. I'm equipped to be her friend and accept her exactly as she is, and I hope she is willing to accept me (flaws and all) too. Jane would say that being a true friend isn't just about acceptance, it's about loving the person and wanting what's best for them. I guess I get that on some levels.
This whole thing has just reaffirmed to me why I've never really connected with Jane. I know she and Anne have a long history - but who needs friends like that?? Drama, drama, drama.
Thanks for your responses!