..o*o..o*o..* MEMBER SPOTLIGHT 1/10 & 1/11 - Awaken *..o*o..o*o..

[evinmom]

HOW IT WORKS:

We will ask you questions, you will answer them, or if you just have any words of wisdom or basically anything you want to share, post it here- it is YOUR thread! we will have a good time!

(participants: basically no question is off limits, so ask away- but if she doesn't feel comfortable answering, she doesn't have to!)

These first few basic questions so we can all remember who you are!
Name:
Age:
Location:
DDC Baby's Name:
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies):

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy was this for you?:
Occupation:
Hobbies/Interests:
Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself:

[Awaken]

Ok, so I"m first, huh? Looking forward to getting to know all of you. Here goes!


Name: Mary
Age: 35
Location: DC area
DDC Baby's Name: Nora
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies): husband of 15 years, 2 boys ages 4 and 7, 2 lab/golden retriever mixes ages 11 and 9

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy was this for you?: 5th. had 1st son, miscarriage at 12 wks, 2nd son, then 2 surprise pregnancies, the first another miscarriage at 12wks, the second resulting in my new daughter!

Occupation: was a dietitian in hospitals/nursing homes for 11 years, quit when i was close to completing postpartum doula certification. got pregnant so was only able to do that for ~1 yr. Totally LOVE it and felt like I had finally found my passion in life and was launching a business, and now it is all on hold for the forseeable future.

Am a LLL leader and president of a birth-options advocacy nonprofit, both of which I am very passionate about, and will continue to do (doesn't pay the bills though ). I love working with new and expectant moms and helping them find the resources I didn't know about when I was a new mom and totally clueless and struggling, whether it be good books to read, moms' groups, breastfeeding help, or a supportive maternity care provider or pediatrician.

Hobbies/Interests: See above Love to read, historical fiction mostly (Diana Gabaldon and Philippa Gregory) and the newspaper. Am into local foods, wines, and products, cooking and eating and reading about them! Going to farmers' markets, reading about alternative medicine. I also love tv- Big Love, Project Runway, Survivor, The Bachelor, So You Think You Can Dance. Listening to NPR.

Also, we homeschool so that isn't a "hobby" but I spend a lot of time doing it and reading about it!

Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself: ??? I am pretty weird but not in an interesting way I think I'm pretty boring. I'm probably THE most average person you've ever met. people I've met a million times don't usually remember me! I'm pretty socially awkward as well, unless it's with friends I know well.

[nina_yyc]

How did you meet your husband?
What do you mean by 'pretty weird in an interesting way'?
What dish do you consider your specialty?
Where else have you lived besides DC?

[carmel23]

what do you love about parenting, and what do you hate (or what parts of being a parent at home do you dislike--cooking, cleaning, etc.)?

How to you manage your house hold (tips and tricks) with lots of kids and homeschooling?



and yeah, let us know about this 'boring weirdness'

[Awaken]

Originally Posted by nina_yyc

How did you meet your husband?
What do you mean by 'pretty weird in an interesting way'?
What dish do you consider your specialty?
Where else have you lived besides DC?

We met at college orientation, at age 18. We were smitten with each other at first sight, were with each other nonstop from day one. Did everything at college together, got married after sophomore year was over, at age 19. Still happily married and extremely thankful I never had to date

LOL, I said I'm weird in a NOT interesting way. Like, I've always been a pretty nerdy and forgettable person.

I don't really have a specialty dish; I just follow recipes and what ends up working best are Indian dishes. I mostly cook from "Vegan with a Vengeance" and the "Vegetarian Mother's Cookbook" (written by an MDC mama), and recipes I find in Mothering.

I'm from PA (Philadelphia), we went to college in central PA, moved the Michigan, then Wisconsin to finish some post-college internships, then moved to DC, where we've stayed ever since (moving around within the area).

[Awaken]

Originally Posted by carmel23

what do you love about parenting, and what do you hate (or what parts of being a parent at home do you dislike--cooking, cleaning, etc.)?

How to you manage your house hold (tips and tricks) with lots of kids and homeschooling?



and yeah, let us know about this 'boring weirdness'

Actually I find parenting to be quite challenging. Pregnancy and birth has been very easy for me each time, but it's the raising of the kids that is tough for me! I need a lot of personal space (mentally and physically), quiet time, and a good balance of activity vs. down time, and obviously with small kids you don't get any of that. It is hard for me to be constantly engaged day after day.

I just love the little people that my kids are. They are each extremely different and unique. I like having conversations with them and hearing the interesting things they're thinking about. I like spending 1:1 time with them. I enjoy it that their interests have become my interests just because it's fun to see their excitement- things I'd NEVER ordinarily care about- trains, the universe, etc.

I like cooking and cleaning! It's just hard to do with kids around! That's one reason I like being a doula; I enjoy doing that for others.

And ha ha, I need tips and tricks from YOU all on how to manage a house and homeschool! Plus I have DS2's preschool commute with 3 kids to work in there! I just have to be organized, always think ahead and plan ahead. It takes a LOT of work!

[Awaken]

And as far as boringness, I just don't have any specific talents. Like, I like hearing music but don't play any instruments, sing, or know a lot about any type of music. Don't do any crafting or making things at all. I haven't traveled much at all. Am not good at sports or physical things. There are no specific areas that are "my thing" that I'm really great at. Even with nutrition, and working in the field, I honestly wasn't that into it or knowledgeable about it. It's only been since having kids and researching it for myself that I've really gotten more knowledge. I guess that's why the doula-ing and pregnancy/birth/bf'ing thing is so important to me, it's something I finally found a "niche" in where I do know a lot about (or more than the average person on the street).

[justmandy]

Hey, we're a lot alike! But I'll try not to make this about me!

What is something you feel guilty about, as a mom, and something you don't feel guilty about?

What are your older kids' chores?

[evinmom]

Mary, I really enjoy getting to know you better. So is your family 100% vegetarian? If so, how long have you been vegetarian? Tell us about your wedding and honeymoon (if you went on one). What were your majors in college? Were your pregnancies planned out or were they surprises?

[doclegs]

This is very cool! Did you enjoy your nursing home work? (I still work in nursing homes)

[Awaken]

Originally Posted by justmandy

Hey, we're a lot alike! But I'll try not to make this about me!

What is something you feel guilty about, as a mom, and something you don't feel guilty about?

What are your older kids' chores?

Mandy, I'd like to know how we're similar!

-I think I will always feel guilty about being so clueless as a first time mom, and not recognizing my first son's needs sooner, and for unquestioningly following all the typical mainstream advice re: vaccinating, diet, and medical treatment. I just did not know other options were possibilities, and it kills me to think we may have harmed him or made his issues worse by not being better informed or questioning medical advice, and by not following my gut instincts.

-I don't feel guilty that they watch tv and eat sugar. I'm alone with them 11 hrs a day and rarely get a break, am constantly on the go and doing all the housework, cooking, appointments, etc on my own so tv is the only way I get a chance to make a meal or a phone call. And I go so far out of my way to get food from farms, organic, local, etc that if they eat some junk mixed in, I"m not going to beat myself up over it.

-They don't have specific chores, I just have them clean up after themselves, and help me with cooking, loading the dishwasher, vaccuuming.

Originally Posted by evinmom

Mary, I really enjoy getting to know you better. So is your family 100% vegetarian? If so, how long have you been vegetarian? Tell us about your wedding and honeymoon (if you went on one). What were your majors in college? Were your pregnancies planned out or were they surprises?

-My husband is a strict vegetarian. I turned veg. during my first pregnancy but over the past year or so after doing a lot of reading I don't think it's right for me any more. Now I'm including some salmon and good quality chicken.

-our wedding was very simple and low budget. we were 19 and busy with school so my mom planned it. all our of parents' friends and church people contributed the food, decorations, made the dresses, etc so it was very casual. We went to Williamsburg, VA and Bush Gardens for our honeymoon, because his sister lived near there and had sent us coupons for free meals and hotel rooms!

-we waited 8 yrs to get pregnant, which was sooooooo hard. it was extremely planned when it finally was the right time! the second pregnancy was a very heartbreaking and traumatic miscarriage. the next was my 4 yr old. Then as I mentioned I had 2 unplanned pregnancies, one I lost, and this last one is Nora. The vasectomy will be scheduled ASAP!!!

Originally Posted by doclegs

This is very cool! Did you enjoy your nursing home work? (I still work in nursing homes)

So, what kind of work do you do? I liked spending time with the residents and being a ray of light in some of their lives, because they have so little. But, I really did not like that healthcare is basically lots of paperwork, with very little time to actually help anyone, much less do anything to help people be healthy. It's hard to counsel people on nutrition or do much to keep them healthy when the food we're serving there is such poor quality and the doctors don't do much but hand out tons of pills

[Tattooed Hand]

what way of raising kids is different from your own parents? What things are the same?

Also, just because I am curious, why do you homeschool?

[Tattooed Hand]

Also, when your kids are grown up, are there things you'd like to do that you can't do now?

And, a variation, what would you do if you won a million bucks?

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by Awaken

Actually I find parenting to be quite challenging. Pregnancy and birth has been very easy for me each time, but it's the raising of the kids that is tough for me! I need a lot of personal space (mentally and physically), quiet time, and a good balance of activity vs. down time, and obviously with small kids you don't get any of that. It is hard for me to be constantly engaged day after day.

Me, too! I am very introverted, and my kids are so extroverted! They constantly want to chat, and it sometimes drives me crazy!

I have a lot of memories of being a child, but still can't always relate to my kids... I also find it hard to constantly engaged... but I just remember that they won't always be here, and are changing every day...

I'm looking forward to your other answers...

[carmel23]

oh, and I wanted to ask, were there any major differences (emotionally, mentally) between your planned pregnancies and unplanned? Were they different experiences because of the expectation or basically the same?

[Truckerdoo]

I think everyone has covered most of my curiousities. I would like to hear more about your decision to homeschool, and what/how you teach your kids! Do you co-homeschool with other families? I've heard about ppl doing this to take some of the burden off themselves.

[justmandy]

Originally Posted by Awaken

Mandy, I'd like to know how we're similar!

Since you asked...
I love historical fiction, I homeschool, I'm socially awkward until I get to know people, I made lots of bad decisions with my older kids that I just didn't know were my decisioins to make, I've tried vegitarianism and found it's not right for me, my kids' needs overwhelm me at times...no one tells you when you say "I want a baby" that eventually you'll have a 6 year old, kwim? I have no specific talents or interests, that's why I didn't go to college or have a real job (Although, I've been thinking of becoming a lactation consultant). The more you post, the more I find we're alike!

Okay, back to this being your thread!

[evinmom]

Originally Posted by justmandy

I homeschool, I made lots of bad decisions with my older kids that I just didn't know were my decisioins to make, I've tried vegitarianism and found it's not right for me, my kids' needs overwhelm me at times...no one tells you when you say "I want a baby" that eventually you'll have a 6 year old, kwim?

Hey, that's me too! I'm a baby person. I can handle babies. The task of disciplining and guiding older children stumps me a lot of the time.

[Awaken]

I have a very busy couple days so hopefully I can finish out my thread!

Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand

what way of raising kids is different from your own parents? What things are the same?

Also, just because I am curious, why do you homeschool?

OMG, pretty much in every way I am different from my parents. Too much to list! The only thing similar is we have similar religious beliefs but I am a lot more liberal. We were pretty much not parented. They were there, but we were still on our own to figure things out. My dh and and I are the total opposite, probably TOO involved with our kids! And they are completely unhealthy in every way, and extremely messy, and I am the opposite (probably because of my upbringing!).

Homeschooling- to make it short, my ds had developmental delays and social/emotional issues and was in a great preschool for that where he thrived. The same wasn't offered for K, and it was so awful, he hated it and they had no idea how to handle him and our whole family was under so much stress. So homeschooling was the best way to work with him 1:1 to address his needs. Now we need to work on the social aspect of it!

Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand

Also, when your kids are grown up, are there things you'd like to do that you can't do now?

And, a variation, what would you do if you won a million bucks?

In answer to both- travel; I would love to take a culinary tour of Europe, and go someplace tropical. It' just way too stressful for me to travel with kids and sleep away from home.

Originally Posted by carmel23

Me, too! I am very introverted, and my kids are so extroverted! They constantly want to chat, and it sometimes drives me crazy!

I have a lot of memories of being a child, but still can't always relate to my kids... I also find it hard to constantly engaged... but I just remember that they won't always be here, and are changing every day...

I'm looking forward to your other answers...

Nice to hear I'm not the only one!

Originally Posted by carmel23

oh, and I wanted to ask, were there any major differences (emotionally, mentally) between your planned pregnancies and unplanned? Were they different experiences because of the expectation or basically the same?

It was extremely different. I have had a tough time emotionally this entire pregnancy and during the birth. It's hard to accept congratulations since although I love the baby herself, I am still coming to terms with me as a mom of 3 and the different track my life has taken. It's such a contrast from the unbridled excitement and enthusiasm of the previous times! I know it will all eventually be ok, though.

Originally Posted by justmandy

Since you asked...
I love historical fiction, I homeschool, I'm socially awkward until I get to know people, I made lots of bad decisions with my older kids that I just didn't know were my decisioins to make, I've tried vegitarianism and found it's not right for me, my kids' needs overwhelm me at times...no one tells you when you say "I want a baby" that eventually you'll have a 6 year old, kwim? I have no specific talents or interests, that's why I didn't go to college or have a real job (Although, I've been thinking of becoming a lactation consultant). The more you post, the more I find we're alike!

Okay, back to this being your thread!

we do have a lot in common! and YES I totally agree about a baby eventually becoming a big kid! I think that's one reason I've had a harder time being enthusiastic this time; I know what lies ahead! Having a baby is comparatively easy!!

[Awaken]

Originally Posted by evinmom

Hey, that's me too! I'm a baby person. I can handle babies. The task of disciplining and guiding older children stumps me a lot of the time.

totally feeling this today. I just don't know what to do about their behavior and feel like I am screwing them up for life with my reactions