Not Mamas Yet Tribe Winter/Spring 2010

[oiseau]

Welcome to the Not Mamas... Yet Tribe, Part XX (Winter/Spring 2010)

(Thanks Rico'sAlice for the text and Jenne for the previous thread sheparding!)

Iaorana! As-salaamu `alaykum! Merhaba! Γεια σου! Ãyubõván! Jambo! Hola! Boa tarde! Ciao! Guten Tag! Bonjour! Magandang Hapon Po! Selamat petang! Konnichiwa!

Hello! Returning members, glad you made it over, hope the trip wasn't too hard. Just put your feet up and relax for a while. We've got organic lemonade, coffee (regular and Swiss-water-process decaf), pastured raw milk, kombucha, kefir, whatever you're into. (No EBM available here- Sorry. Check out the Love Thread for that.)

Newbies! We are sooo excited you're here. We hope you stay a while and never leave... unless it is because you become a mama.

Anyway, this thread was originally started to give those of us who are not yet parents a forum here at MDC to discuss the unique concerns of those who are into NFL, and excited about AP but don't have any munchkins to apply these concepts to...yet. (Although some of us have furbabies, young family members, students, etc. that we are involved with.)

As I mentioned, a few of us have gotten pregnant while here, others are TTC now, some in the next few years, some of us aren't even close. We've also had the occasional visitor that is a "Not Mama...EVER" ie, male nannies and such. We're happy to have all y'all!

So here we are. And here you are. Let the party begin!

NMY Offshoot Threads

NMY Graduates Love Thread
NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part Two
NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part Three
NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part Four
NMY Fitness Thread


Official NMY Status Roster
Getting to know you...getting to know all about you...

Post in the thread if you want your information added, updated, or changed. If it seems as if I didn't see it, send me a PM. Thanks!

Graduates

Katt, age 30 mama to Teotimo since 12/27/06
~Shanna~ mama to Fenton Edward since 3/26/07
Holiztic mama to Quinn since 4/13/07
BeccaBear, age 28 -mama to Alexander Lewis since 5/6/07
Rico'sAlice, age 27 - mama to Johannes Edward since 5/20/07
turtle81 , age 25 - mama to Phillip since 6/02/07
farmama, age 29 - mama to Natalina since 7/17/07
Maela, age 26 - mama to Maev since 7/17/07
jodib, age 29 - mama to Rosalie Jayne since 7/23/07
PiePie, age 36 - mama to since 8/16/07
arelyn, age 25 - mama to Micaiah since 8/16/07
hazieluna, age 35 - mama to Aidan Sebastian since 9/15/07
ATD_Mom, age 32 - mama to Alasdair since 9/16/07
Sihaya, age 24 - mama to Calvin since 12/22/07
NJ*Doula, age 27 - mama since 3/16/08
blizzard_babe-mama to Issac Vincent since 05/06/08
cking- mama to Josephine Angela since 04/01/08
snozzberry-mama to Abigail Ann since 2/16/08
witchygrrl-mama to Rhea Ann since 8/1/08
zoebird- mama to Hawk Octavian since 8/30/08
asoulunbound - mama to Samara Marie since 10/25/08
MujerMamaMismo- mama to Sebastian Felix since 12/21/08
Kriket - mama to Sirius J since 4/24/09
Mama Khi - mama to Abigail since 6/18/09
Sk8ermaiden - mama to Elle since 7/12/09
CourtBChase - mama to Eleanor Sage since 7/19/09
AsYouWish- mama to DonnaLucia since 9/14/09
JessicaRenee - mama to Jude since 9/25/09
Texmati - mama to Ishaan since 9/22/09
LibertyBelle- mama since 10/09
CalaRei- mama to Tycho & Kepler 10/29/09
jaclyn7 - mama to Kiefer since 11/26/09
Andee-mama to baby Danger since 12/08/09
MEcatlady17- mama to Hannah Lee since 1/19/10
GuavaGirl-mama to Eli James since 2/21/10
RhiOrion - mama to Loreli Ruth since 4/8/10
Oztok5 - mama to a little boy since 5/3/10
Tippy - mama to Julius Luciano since 5/30/10

Pregnant
APBTlover due 10/2010
Monarchgrrl due 10/2010
Jenne due 2/2011

TTC Now & Later
aquarius aspiring (2011?)
ashcav
Brown Lioness
cak1207 (currently)
CAndMe
Charliemae
Freud
Hesperia (currently)
JlyGrnMigt (August 2010)
Knittinanny
Kyamo (currently)
lakeruby (summer?)
lapis (currently)
monkeyscience (late 2010/2011)
MrsD08 (currently)
musiclovinglife
nemrac917 (2012?)
Neuromancer (2010/2011)
objet_trouve (2010)
Oiseau (sometime between 2013-2015)
Shaina
sleepingbeauty (Jan 2013)
stretch358
zejh-mama to Joseph 10/9/09


Not Sure Yet
Chloe2326
gfreelishy
joiedevivre184
Kimiij
Knitty Gritty
ladyinred
Sage.Naissance
TwilightJoy
Zephyrine

Planning to Adopt
crunchysamma
w8ing4myDD


Birthdays

January
Tippy...15th

February
Kyamo…10th
Neuromancer...19th, 1977

March
stretch358…5th
CAndMe...8th

April
APBTlover

May
RhiOrion...19th
ashcav...22nd, 1987
lapis...24th

June
sleepingbeauty...23rd, 1989
Jenne…24th

July
ladyinred… 4th, 1981

August
Oiseau...5th
Sage.Naissance...28th
joiedevivre184...26th

September
Knitty Gritty... 6th
nemrac917...17th

October
JlyGnrMigt...8th
Hesperia...12th
Brown Lioness...16tn,1979

November
MrsD08...3rd
zejh...18th
Monarchgrrl...20th, 1977

December
Shaina…5th, 1988
Knittinanny...12th


Post in the thread if you want your information added, updated, or changed. If it seems as if I didn't see it, send me a PM and I will do my best to fix it. Thanks!

[oiseau]

I just spent the morning cleaning up & updating this new NMY thread, hoping a fresh thread might revive interest/conversation.

I was amazed at how many old members got bumped to the graduates category!! Congrats to all the new mamas!

In terms of cleaning up, I got rid of anyone who hadn't posted on MDC at all in the past 6 or so months. If I deleted you and you still want to be on the list, just let me know and I'll put you back. Returning members, let me know if anything needs updated! If you're a new member and want to go on the list, just post a message with your stats and I'll add you. Tell me when you plan to TTC or adopt and when your birthday is and anything else you care to share.

I hope this kicks some life into the 20th (!!) installment of the NMY thread!

[Neuromancer]

My info looks correct! Thanks for putting me on the list.

I bought a 2010 calendar yesterday and I'm using it as a sort of schedule+diary with a focus on things related to perhaps becoming a Mama in the next year or two. I can mark my periods and keep track of my efforts to exercise more and eat better, as well as books to read and resources to keep in mind. I'm a researcher and list maker by nature, so I find this all very calming.

It's my hope we'll start TTC some time this spring or summer. In the meantime, I'm happy to have MDC as a resource.

[kimiij]

Could you please put me under "Not Sure" in the TTC date section. Also, could you remove all of my birthday info?

I'll have to be back later to do an actual check-in?

[oiseau]

Yay! I was getting a little worried that no one was going to join the new thread!

Kimiij, I made those changes for you.

I'll be back when I'm more awake (just got up), but I was thinking re-introductions/updates might be a good way to get a conversation moving.

[knittinanny]

Hey, I'm still here!

Not sure about TTC 2010 now. Going through a bad patch over here -possibly separating from DP and sort of freaking out over it. Also really grieving the loss of TTC (we were planning to start actually trying no later than October 09...everything was lined up and ready to go) and, well, my whole life as I know it. I'm not really interested in being a SMBC, and I don't know how things will work out with DP, but it's not looking good over here.

I guess we'll see what the future brings! I'm not at MDC as much as I used to be because it's hard for me right now, but I also really love the support and community, so I'll be here some.

How is everyone else?

[chloe2326]

Yay, I'm so glad to see a thread for those of us who don't have wee ones yet. I'm a mama at heart! So...yeah, about me...
My name is Chloé - 24 yo, student midwife, apprentice herbalist. My fiance and I broke up about 6months ago, so no TTC for the forseeable future. But I do spend lots of time with my "niece" and "nephew" (not biological) and they warm my heart.
Anyway, really hope to get to know you all xoxo

[oiseau]

Knittinanny-sorry things are rough right now. I hope things work out for the best.
Also, welcome Chloe and welcome back everyone else.

My impetus for restarting the thread is mainly that I'm going to be in the NMY category for the foreseeable future and I wanted some company.

For my brief reintroduction: I'm Jess and I'm 26. I live with my boyfriend/fiance (we're talking about getting rings (like these) soon though an official wedding isn't really in the plans yet). We're both biologists, though Josh is currently sitting across the living room putting together a portfolio for an art school application. We have a ton of pets (2 cats, 2 rats, an iguana, 2 turtles, 2 leopard geckos and a ton of frogs). As for TTC, we had tentative plans for 2 or 3 years from now, but I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in September, so that's all on hold. I'll finish treatment this summer then, provided my cancer stays gone (which it should), I have to wait 3-5 years to TTC. Josh and I have very different levels of enthusiasm for TTC, but we agree on pretty much everything about how we want to parent, so that's good. I just hang out here learning as much as I can and when I'm not sick, I like to hang out with my (almost) 1yr old god-daughter and our niece & nephew, as well as the kids I used to baby-sit for. I also love MDC for the food forums because I love cooking.

[cak1207]

I want to join! I need a thread that I can participate in. I guess I'll introduce myself. I'm Cali and I'm 25. I'm married to my Chiro husband. We opened our own practice March of last year. We have 3 furbaby kitties. In my free time I am dipping into photography. Baby steps!

As for TTC. We've been trying for feels like forever! We've had many many m/c and chemicals. Still holding out. Some days are better than others. Though this week I have found out 4 of my friends are pregnant. That makes my days rougher. I'm glad to find a thread with common gals.

[Thursday's Twin]

I am 27 and currently in grad school and don't plan on trying for kids for a several more years. I want to finish school, get my CPA, get married, and be working for a while before I have kids. I keep thinking that for me, mid 30's would be a great time to start a family. I have been with my bf for going on 2 years now, but I know his time line is probably a bit longer than mine, so not sure where that will go. My sister is a member of mothering, and has three wonderful little girls that I love spending time with. We always say we live vicariously through the other, she is my twin, hence my name, hers is thursday_girl. I secretly hope that I will have twin girls too , which is very possible given the age I'd like to have children

I enjoy learning through my sister's experiences about being a mother, and joined mothering because of the experience she has had with the community here. It is nice to see that there is a thread for people like me!

[Neuromancer]

Knittinanny -- I'm sorry to read that things are tough for you right now. I'm glad you're allowing yourself to grieve.

Originally Posted by chloe2326

Yay, I'm so glad to see a thread for those of us who don't have wee ones yet. I'm a mama at heart! So...yeah, about me...
My name is Chloé - 24 yo, student midwife, apprentice herbalist. My fiance and I broke up about 6months ago, so no TTC for the forseeable future. But I do spend lots of time with my "niece" and "nephew" (not biological) and they warm my heart.
Anyway, really hope to get to know you all xoxo

Chloé, that's very cool. The more I read, the more I wish I had the courage to study midwifery. I don't mean that in an insulting way, like the way some people use "courage" to mean they think a choice is actually "crazy."

I can relate to your feelings about your "niece." My best friend's daughter is a year and a half old and I almost worry that if I have my own kid he/she couldn't possibly be as wonderful as my friend's kid. It seems like a lot of us in this thread have a kid or two to be really fond of.


Jess - my inlaws are both biologists, and they have always had tons of animals. They work together, too, and have for years.

I'm sorry to read about your diagnosis, but I'm glad your treatment will be over this summer.

My husband and I (I'm 33 next month; he'll be 32 this summer) are dealing with different levels of enthusiasm, too, but both of us also waffle back and forth on our own. Having a child seems very desirable to me and very scary!


Cali - What a hard week to find out about 4 friends' pregnancies when you're TTC. I have been very jealous of my friends who have had babies even while I struggle to decide if that decision is right for me, so I can only imagine what you're going through.

Originally Posted by Thursday's Twin

I keep thinking that for me, mid 30's would be a great time to start a family.

Thursday's Twin -- I hold on to that hope for myself, too!

[oiseau]

Originally Posted by Neuromancer

I can relate to your feelings about your "niece." My best friend's daughter is a year and a half old and I almost worry that if I have my own kid he/she couldn't possibly be as wonderful as my friend's kid. It seems like a lot of us in this thread have a kid or two to be really fond of.

That's what's been getting me through the past few years. I've had 2 different families that I've babysat for pretty regularly in the past two places I've lived. I just got to visit the kids I babysat for the last year and a half while I lived in Boston over New Years. I totally got a cold from them that made me miss a chemo treatment, but I have no regrets!! Their mom had called to let me know they were a little sick and I told her that as long as no one licked me or anything, I'd be ok. Her response was "Well, I can't guarantee that!" They're 4 and 2. We had an excellent visit.
When I'm at home, I really only get to see my unofficial god-daughter (my best friend's daughter). Her first birthday is next weekend and I'm so looking forward to the party! Since she's either at home with mom or dad, or being babysat by her grandma, she's my safe kid. She doesn't get exposed to other kid germs, so I have no worries about visiting her or having her over to my house. She could even lick me if she wanted lol (her kisses are essentially licks at this point).
I had a really rough time when her mom started TTC because she is the first of my friends to have kids. I was really conflicted because I was simultaneously happy for her, but at the same time, really sad that I was still having to wait my turn. I came down to visit her when E was 3 weeks old and pretty much just got over it then. It mainly just took time to get over my sadness, but it was gone by the time she was born. We've since moved back to the area and I'm just enjoying being close and watching E grow (she just started walking!).
Since TTC is totally on hold right now, I've don't really feel that pang of sadness knowing friends are pregnant (though none currently are...). I'm just kinda keeping the thought of my future babies in my head as I go through treatment. It'll be the prize at the end.
anyway, this is getting rambly...I'm in a chemo daze from my treatment yesterday and I would probably be better off asleep right now. But I'd be really interested to hear how others deal with having to be patient and/or the sadness the sometimes accompanies the waiting.

[Neuromancer]

Originally Posted by oiseau

I had a really rough time when her mom started TTC because she is the first of my friends to have kids. I was really conflicted because I was simultaneously happy for her, but at the same time, really sad that I was still having to wait my turn. I came down to visit her when E was 3 weeks old and pretty much just got over it then. It mainly just took time to get over my sadness, but it was gone by the time she was born. We've since moved back to the area and I'm just enjoying being close and watching E grow (she just started walking!).

I felt conflicted when my friend got pregnant, too. I'm a little older than most of my friends (by a year or two) and in the longest relationship of any of our friends who are couples (by 5 years or so), so I always assumed my husband and I would be the first to have a baby. I was a little jealous that my friend had stolen "my" thunder, even while I knew that was silly, and I was also sad that I didn't have that in my life yet. You're right, you get over it in time -- especially once you get to meet that little baby. I've seen the child a few times a week for a year and a half, and it has been amazing. Even though I'm not her mom, we have a special bond, and I love her mom so much that i just had to get over myself a little.

I'd be really interested to hear how others deal with having to be patient and/or the sadness the sometimes accompanies the waiting.

I don't have any good coping strategies. It still makes me sad to wait sometimes, even though I'm not sure I'm ready for a baby. I talk to my husband about it sometimes, but try not to lay it all on him too much. And I distract myself with activities it would be harder to do with a baby (movies, cooking elaborate meals, lots of exercise and reading and knitting). That helps me be patient.

[w8ing4myDD]

Hey there! I'm Lisa, and I have 2 furry kids and a great hubs.
I haven't been around here in a looong time! We are still waiting to adopt fro China, although at this point we are also thinking about looking into other options....

...I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I can say that I do know what it's like to be sad during the "wait" (we hit our 3 year wait anniversary in Dec), especially when dealing with family and friends and their pregnancies....

Lisa

[oiseau]

I've been really annoyed the past few days since I got some annoying family news.
Backstory: On my mom's side of the family, I have 4 cousins. 3 of them are siblings (my uncle's kids). These kids grew up in a pretty crappy situation and started procreating young and rapidly. The cousins are a girl, MD who is the same age as me (26), D, ~25 yr old guy and MS, another girl who is 23ish? MD has 3 boys between age 9 and 6-ish and is pregnant right now. D has 3 kids age 3(girl) , 2(boy) and a newborn boy. MS has two girls ages 3 & 2 and is pregnant right now. I have pretty much no contact with any of these cousins as we grew up and still live on opposite sides of the country.

Anyway, my mom was telling me about D's new baby the other day and how my grandma was really upset. Grandma is upset because the baby was born with 2 thumbs and apparently he needs to see a specialist at a hospital kinda far away to have the 2nd thumb removed. My grandma apparently kept insisting that she doesn't think D and his gf will take the baby to the Dr. I started reassuring my mom that I was sure they'd take the baby to the dr when my mom was like, "Well, grandma doesn't think they will because D's gf was on meth the whole pregnancy and still is and they don't do anything..." *sigh* My mom then proceeded to tell me how MD is the babysitter for all the little kids but she is an alcoholic who drinks a fifth of liquor a day. My mom was going on and on about it and I finally just had to stop her. I don't think she realized that it probably wasn't the best story to tell me....who desperately wants a baby but has to wait because I have cancer right now. That's the kind of thing that is super frustrating. I'm sure my cousins totally take it for granted that they can just have as many babies as possible and just ignore them. I feel so bad for all those babies and just so annoyed that I have to keep waiting to have my babies and just take care of them and love them every minute.
...At least this is all on the other side of the country!

(my boyfriend's response was "It would be SO AWESOME to have two thumbs!!")

[w8ing4myDD]

Oiseau, I'm so sorry you had such a frustrating time with your family! They really can be insensitive, can't they?

Your boyfriend's response was great! Good thing you're near him and not them!

lisa

[oiseau]

He's always coming up with these random things like how cool it would be to have opposable toes or webbed hands or a prehensile tail. He'd love a baby with extra parts like that....but he'd be really jealous. He was trying to figure out the best arrangement for two thumbs on one hand (both on the same side or one over by the pinky).

I have been frustrated with these cousins since I was 17 when MD's first son was born. I knew that statistically, I'd be a teen mom too, but I would have taken such better care of him. Sadly, MD, D and MS grew up in an equally crappy situation. I hope the cycle of drug/alcohol abuse stops soon (maybe one day if I'm ever rolling in money, I could help some of the littles get a good education or something).

[objet_trouve]

Can I join?

We're planning on starting to try in the next couple months. Want to talk to my doctor first. I'm taking prenatal vitamins and studying as best I can (I get it from my mom. We both have to research EVERYTHING before we go anywhere near it).

So we're researching everything from circumcision (opposed) to vaccinations (still figuring it out, half-opposed so far) to baby names (We like the name Ace. We're silly Texans, I know. He has a great uncle named Tubby, and it's not a nickname!), and we talk about parenting strategies A LOT. Seems to me we're most excited about the prospect of having teenage boys someday. I don't always know what to do with a baby, but I can totally handle teenage boys.

So, wondering...what do I talk about with my doctor? I'm too nervous to talk to my mom or sister about it until I'm sure I'm pregnant, for various reasons (nothing bad about them, it's just an odd situation). So I came here to see what I can see! What should I know?

[MrsD08]

Can I be added?

I'm 24, currently TTC with a Male infertility factor. My birthday is November 3rd. Is that all the info that is needed?

[MrsD08]

Originally Posted by objet_trouve

So, wondering...what do I talk about with my doctor?

With my PCP she just did my annual physical to make sure I was a-ok for pregnancy. She told me I should lose a bit of weight, but that wasn't a surprise. Hmmm...she made sure I was taking a prenatal w/ folic acid and DHA. That was it! I don't have an OB/Midwife so I asked when I should get one and she said as soon as their office confirmed a pregnancy w/ a Beta that I could call the midwife's office.

Something I've been spending a lot of time on is a binder my Doula gave me. I've been working on my birth plan. That's another thing you can discuss w/ DP.

We have a Male Infertility Factor so we're not even sure if we'll be able to have biological children. So I've also spent a lot of time researching and exploring my feelings on IUI, IVF, Adoption, Sperm Donor, Know Sperm Donor, etc. There is a LOT of information and it's VERY overwhelming.

Hmmm...what else....
I recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. And, it wouldn't hurt to come peak over in the TTC boards! We have a lot of women over there that are "Wanting but Waiting" or "Ready by Waiting" etc.

GL!