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Not Mamas Yet Tribe Winter/Spring 2010 - Page 2

post #21 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
I've been really annoyed the past few days since I got some annoying family news.
Backstory: On my mom's side of the family, I have 4 cousins. 3 of them are siblings (my uncle's kids). These kids grew up in a pretty crappy situation and started procreating young and rapidly. The cousins are a girl, MD who is the same age as me (26), D, ~25 yr old guy and MS, another girl who is 23ish? MD has 3 boys between age 9 and 6-ish and is pregnant right now. D has 3 kids age 3(girl) , 2(boy) and a newborn boy. MS has two girls ages 3 & 2 and is pregnant right now. I have pretty much no contact with any of these cousins as we grew up and still live on opposite sides of the country.

Anyway, my mom was telling me about D's new baby the other day and how my grandma was really upset. Grandma is upset because the baby was born with 2 thumbs and apparently he needs to see a specialist at a hospital kinda far away to have the 2nd thumb removed. My grandma apparently kept insisting that she doesn't think D and his gf will take the baby to the Dr. I started reassuring my mom that I was sure they'd take the baby to the dr when my mom was like, "Well, grandma doesn't think they will because D's gf was on meth the whole pregnancy and still is and they don't do anything..." *sigh* My mom then proceeded to tell me how MD is the babysitter for all the little kids but she is an alcoholic who drinks a fifth of liquor a day. My mom was going on and on about it and I finally just had to stop her. I don't think she realized that it probably wasn't the best story to tell me....who desperately wants a baby but has to wait because I have cancer right now. That's the kind of thing that is super frustrating. I'm sure my cousins totally take it for granted that they can just have as many babies as possible and just ignore them. I feel so bad for all those babies and just so annoyed that I have to keep waiting to have my babies and just take care of them and love them every minute.
...At least this is all on the other side of the country!

(my boyfriend's response was "It would be SO AWESOME to have two thumbs!!")

We had to wait longer than we wanted for medical reasons too. It's still really hard when I hear about someone who really shouldn't be having a baby for tons of reasons. My DH watches Tru-TV, American Jail...or whatever it's called...and there was a girl on it (not a woman, a girl) who was pregnant and was being charged w/ solicitation (at 7 months pregnant) and drug possession. She had no defense for the solicitation, but said she had gotten off drugs 3 months prior when she found out she was pregnant. That means for her whole first trimester + she was using. GRRRRRRR!!
post #22 of 254
Wow! I was worried mine would want all kinds of histories and ask a lot of questions...I don't know why, I think I'm just paranoid about my doctor. Makes sense in retrospect.

I've been on prenatals for about a month now. The weight thing is an interesting issue for me, I'm recovering from something that made me gain a lot of localized weight (made me look and feel pregnant when I wasn't) and not be able to lose it. I figure my doctor will want to talk a bit about that.

Thank you for all the advice, I really appreciate it!
post #23 of 254
I guess it might depend on how long you've been seeing that doctor. I've been seeing mine for 2 1/2 years, but they have records from my previous doctor. I saw the previous doctor for 22 years, so, you know, lol.
post #24 of 254
I'd like to join!

I've been over at the Wanting But Waiting thread for a little while. I'm 28 and love kids-- I get my "mama fix" for now through my wonderful dog, my nephew, and friends' babies. SO MANY of my friends are having babies, and several of them are mamas 2 and 3 times over by now. I always thought I'd have kids at a young age, but I guess that ship has sailed, and sometimes it's hard for me to reconcile that fantasy with my reality!

I'm not married but have been with DP for going on 5 years. Things seem to be up and down with us, and I think that is one reason we have waited, although we've been talking about it for years! He is ready, and I am *mostly* ready, but sometimes we have trouble really communicating, or he shows me that he is immature in his self-care, and I reconsider...I think he will be a great dad, but I'm not sure if he's someone I could be with *forever.* My parents divorced when I was 5 and I have a great relationship with both of them, and they have a great relationship with each other, so I have hope that if it doesn't work out in the long run with DP, that we could still raise an awesome kid together! I really want to have a baby before I'm 30, and he's a wonderful person, so....I feel like we should go for it! On the other hand, I wonder if it's really the best decision to choose to have a baby with someone that you aren't 100% sure about... But I'm also the kind of person that (very likely) will never be 100% sure about ANYTHING.
Food for thought, anyway!

At any rate, I've been preparing for pregnancy for a few months now-- I finally got around to charting (using my handy copy of TCOYF) and have been drinking herbal infusions and taking a vitex tincture and evening primrose oil and cod liver oil. I'm also transitioning into eating meat, after being a veg for 15 years. I subscribed to Mothering and have been loving this forum! I also bought several parenting and pregnancy books that I'm looking forward to reading soon. I have a to-do list of things that need to be accomplished before TTC, and we're trying to save up some money-- so if all goes as planned, we could start trying this summer!

Sorry for the long post, but I'm glad to have found you gals!
post #25 of 254
subbing
post #26 of 254
So has anyone heard from OP? Starting to wonder if everything is okay. Is it usually this slow in here?
post #27 of 254
Thread Starter 



This thread used to be really fast moving, but in the past year it's slowed down to almost nothing. I'd love to see it pick up again.

Welcome to all the new people!!  


Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 6:18pm
post #28 of 254
I'd like to join

My name is Kayla, and I'm 20(only 6.5 months until the big 21!). Since I am currently single and have about 4 years left until I graduate college (had to take some time off for health reasons after a crappy two semesters), marriage and babies are so far on the back burner that they're in somebody else's kitchen

I joined MDC a year ago, because I'm sloooooowly training to become a doula. I got into all things natural birth when my niece was born via midwife 3 years ago. Since then, I've become much more crunchy. I practice yoga, am a vegetarian, recycle to the point of being obnoxious to most people, and actually have a sign on the inside of the front door saying "Do you have the green bags?!" so my family doesn't forget

It's really frustrating right now, because so many of my high school classmates are having their first babies, and they're doing just fine. They're getting the support from their boyfriend and family to stay at home, finish school, etc. And they're screwing it up(in my humble opinion )! Not a single one (out of the 8 or so) has had anything resembling a natural birth. The only girl who was not induced went into labor at 35 weeks. Just in the last 6 days, two girls from the grade above me had failed inductions (one at 39 weeks, the other at 41 weeks) that led to c-sections. Only one of all my FB friend mommies are nursing. Normally, I am 100% pro-choice when it comes to birth and feeding choices, but really...I read all the things they post. This is not informed consent.

To wrap up that loooong summary, it is frustrating because if I were to get unexpectedly pregnant, I know I would do a great job as a mom, whereas I see my peers making a lot of mistakes (partying, going out all the time without baby, etc).
post #29 of 254
Thread Starter 

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Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 6:19pm
post #30 of 254
Kayla, I love your signature! I'm not allowed to have that many little smilies in my siggy yet...

Kayla, I want to be a Doula too!

There's a new gym in town that I really want to join. We're used to the chain franchise gyms, but this one isn't. They have a mineral pool (I'm allergic to chlorine) and they hold classes, as well as having the equipment. Yes, the other gyms don't have classes!! I still need to go check out their classes, but I think I'm going to do Yoga for beginners, Zumba and Water Aerobics. I just hope they stay open and thrive.

I'm glad you're okay oiseau, I was worried about you!
post #31 of 254
Thanks I love my siggy too I finally thought to add in the "second generation" co-sleeper. I slept with my parents until I was about 6, my sister until she was 7. My parents, outside of hospital birth/formula feeding were pretty AP minded. I also love your baby names! Being the hopeless daydreamer that I am, if I were to immaculately conceive right now, I'd do Bodhi for a boy (Bo for short) and Lux for a girl. I love names, always have. I'm the girl who has to look up the meaning of everyone's name
post #32 of 254
Thread Starter 

MrsD08--I'm usually on here every day, regardless of how I'm feeling, I just sometimes feel too tired to think/type. Most of the time, I'm stuck at home bored out of my mind, so it's nice to have others here to talk to. Alternatively, when I'm well enough, I go to work which tires me out so much that I also don't have the energy to type...just read.

 


Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 3:34pm
post #33 of 254
The first boy will be Dillon Richard Lee, the first girl will be Charlotte Marsha Mae. The second boy will be Collin Kendall Scott and the second girl will be Abbigail Francine Rose. We absolutely need a Charlie, so if we have 2 boys (Dillon and Collin) we'll try once more. If it's a girl, it's Charlotte, if it's a boy it's Charles.

Dillon, Collin and Abbigail are names that we really like, no real significance.

Richard was my father's name. Lee is my FIL's and DH's middle name.

Marsha Mae was my MIL's name. Mae was my grandmother's middle name.

FIL's name is Kenneth, so we'll use Kendall to honor him. Scott is DH's name.

Francine Rose is my sister's name. Rose was my mother's middle name.

Charlotte will be Charlie for short. My grandfather's name was Charlie and no one in the family has named a child after him yet.
post #34 of 254
Thread Starter 

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Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 3:34pm
post #35 of 254
I'm back on MDC after a break for a week or so. I was feeling really discouraged after a frank conversation (that, thankfully, did not turn into an argument, but still left me sad) with my husband. He's not sure about TTC later this year, but he said if I could give him 6 months to think about it, that would help. So I'm trying. Can I count the 6 months from January?

In the meantime, though, we've been talking about it more, with no pressure. I got a bunch of books from the library, and he's listening to the audio version of Michael Chabon's book on fatherhood/manhood. Last night, I read him a section of a book I'm reading on ethnopediatrics while he cooked dinner.

I had to go talk to my doctor on Wednesday about a trip we're thinking about taking, and I told her that when I have my annual checkup in August I want to talk to her about preconception stuff. Even if we don't end up TTC this year, I'd rather be safe than unprepared if my husband decides he's ready after all.

I have a huge list of names. I love naming. But I try not to think about it too actively. Still, if I hear a name I like I jot it down and add it to the list later.
post #36 of 254
I'm actually really, really glad at some of the health decisions I've been making, because it will be less to worry about when I do TTC down the road. Assuming I have no "oops" babies while in college(not happening, no oops for me), it's 5-10 years until I'll have kids. That means 6+ years of being vegetarian, vax-free, practicing yoga/meditation, etc. I'm glad I'm sort of a health freak...except for Doritos, pizza and diet coke that is

If we're delving into names, I'll bite! First daughter's middle name will be Dian, no matter what. It's my middle name and my grandma's first name. My grandma(mom's mom) is my best friend. I stay with her all the time, and we talk almost every day. I've actually considered using Dian as a first name, but I'm not sure. I'd always (since I was ten) imagined I'd use the name Isabelle for my first daughter(to honor my grandpa, since it was his mom's name), but now that it's regularly on the top name lists, I'll pass. I like Lux a lot, I have ever since reading "The Virgin Suicides" when I was younger. Boys names are so much harder. The only one I really like other than Bodhi is Milo.

So, what are you all doing for birth control? I went off the pill November 08 because the hormones were wreaking havoc on my body. I had an appointment to get the copper IUD in January 09, but my relationship ended so I cancelled the appointment. It makes me worried about what I'll do when I start dating again. I always thought I'd use condoms and spermicide, but I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the risks and hassle of that. I worried about conceiving on the pill, and I was 99% protected there! The failure rate of condoms and spermicide are much higher. My other option would be to go to the OB/GYN and erm, exaggerate my relationship status to get the paragard, since they're unlikely to give it to a single 20 year old. I know the risks, and they're pretty minor in my mind. Plus, my insurance runs out in 1.5 years, and until then I can get it dirt cheap. It would take two appointments, one to get approved and one to get it inserted, and I have a $12 co-pay per appointment. The IUD itself is free. So, the thought of being totally set in the BC department until I'm married and TTC, all for $24 and no hormonal problems, is very appealing.
post #37 of 254
Thread Starter 
We just use condoms as well as a bit of FAM. Like I said upthread, I stopped temping last year, but I pay attention to cervical mucous and I have a really regular cycle, so I always know approximately when I'm ovulating (within a couple days). Due to my health issues, we don't actually have sex all that often, so that helps too I guess in the birth control department. Before my chemo, we were kinda sloppy about condom use, but I'm much stricter now since an oops would be horrible.
I did the pill for awhile when I was in college and it didn't do good things to my brain, so when I broke up with my previous boyfriend, I quit taking it. I plan to stay away from hormonal BC for the rest of my life. I think FAM + condoms will probably always be a good solution for us, though my boyfriend is open to a vasectomy after we have kids (actually he's open to it now, but he knows I want kids so he has to wait).

I wondered if Lux came from the Virgin Suicides. I also have a really hard time with boy names for some reason. Girl names are so much easier for me. We were talking last night about the name Miri, short for Miriam....from the movie Zack & Miri make a porno. We both really like Miri, but I feel weird about it being from a movie about making a porno (though I really love that movie!).
post #38 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie View Post
Thanks I also love your baby names! Being the hopeless daydreamer that I am, if I were to immaculately conceive right now, I'd do Bodhi for a boy (Bo for short) and Lux for a girl. I love names, always have. I'm the girl who has to look up the meaning of everyone's name
Lux is a really cool name! I like it!
post #39 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
We just use condoms as well as a bit of FAM. Like I said upthread, I stopped temping last year, but I pay attention to cervical mucous and I have a really regular cycle, so I always know approximately when I'm ovulating (within a couple days). Due to my health issues, we don't actually have sex all that often, so that helps too I guess in the birth control department. Before my chemo, we were kinda sloppy about condom use, but I'm much stricter now since an oops would be horrible.
I did the pill for awhile when I was in college and it didn't do good things to my brain, so when I broke up with my previous boyfriend, I quit taking it. I plan to stay away from hormonal BC for the rest of my life. I think FAM + condoms will probably always be a good solution for us, though my boyfriend is open to a vasectomy after we have kids (actually he's open to it now, but he knows I want kids so he has to wait).

I wondered if Lux came from the Virgin Suicides. I also have a really hard time with boy names for some reason. Girl names are so much easier for me. We were talking last night about the name Miri, short for Miriam....from the movie Zack & Miri make a porno. We both really like Miri, but I feel weird about it being from a movie about making a porno (though I really love that movie!).

oiseau-- we use condoms and FAM too and are fine with that. I don't plan on taking any hormone-based birth control. We are open to tubal ligation/vasectomy after we have kids, but I think that FAM would work for me until menopause, too. I kind of like the routine of charting. I do wish I had a doctor that knew more about it and could help me figure things out when I have questions-- I'm always pulling out my copy of TCOYF to look things up!

I think Miri is a gorgeous name! I wouldn't worry about where it came from. You could probably think of an unpleasant situation where every name is used.
post #40 of 254
Thread Starter 

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Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 6:19pm
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