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Not Mamas Yet Tribe Winter/Spring 2010 - Page 12

post #221 of 254
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Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
Charliemae-I took your b-day info down. (I think I've missed adding/updating some other people, but I'll go through the last few pages and get everything updated this weekend)

Welcome back and congrats on the engagement! This thread has been pretty slow moving for awhile so I hope you stick around!
Thanks! It looks pretty slow around here, which I greatly prefer to too fast really. One of the reasons I abandoned ship was because the NMY tribe grew beyond my comfort level. I made some life long friendships here in the past though, maybe some of my cohorts will check in at some point.


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I also really like that comment you highlighted from Neuromancer. I've pretty much always taken the attitude of not being ashamed of any health/body related issues and I find people to be really reassured by it. Talking about stuff takes the stigma out of it and normalizes things. I know I would be absolutely crushed if I miscarried, but I know I couldn't hide it because I'm also a talker, especially when things upset me. And in some small way, knowing that it's actually relatively common would soften the blow ever so slightly.
Yeah! Still, I file it under the "easier said then done" category for me.

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On a totally unrelated note, I'm down to 22 months until I'd feel 100% safe TTC after chemo! I feel slightly insane to be so excited I'm counting down by cycle/month
Sweet! It sounds like a count down worth being so excited for.

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Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie View Post
But then, I don't even want babies now, I just have terrible baby lust...ha. We women are complex beings.
No kidding. What made you choose an IUD? I've always used condoms (or in my younger days Pull&Pray ) but I think an IUD would be the only BC I'd use if I ever felt the need.
post #222 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliemae View Post
No kidding. What made you choose an IUD? I've always used condoms (or in my younger days Pull&Pray ) but I think an IUD would be the only BC I'd use if I ever felt the need.
Ha, it was kind of chosen for me! I tried several types of hormonal BC back in the day, and all it did was make me gain weight, depressed and killed any sex drive. I found a doctor willing to give me an IUD, but broke up with my long-term BF a week before the appointment so I cancelled it. Fast forward a year and a few months, I'm still painfully single . However, I'm going on Accutane and it's a horrible, long, drawn out process. Part of the requirement is being on BC. I found out that my insurance totally covers the IUD, so I told my new obgyn that I was getting the IUD. He fought me, but once he realized that I knew the risks, he changed his tune. I'm the paranoid type that HAS to have 99% effective BC and I just can't deal with the hormones. My mom, grandma and aunt can't either, all of them had to use alternative methods. Grandma used the IUD, mom had my dad get a V, my aunt got a tubal. I doubt crazy sex is anytime in my future, but it's nice to know that I'm protected for the next ten years, so once I start dating again I won't have to be in a panic if the condom breaks or ahem, the moment comes up and no condoms are available. This is where I enter the disclaimer that I only sleep with STD-free certified guys and insist on using condoms unless it's a serious relationship
post #223 of 254
Thread Starter 
OK, I think I updated everything for everyone who asked to have info added/removed. I also got to add 2 new grads and one new mama-to-be. I always enjoy updating those lists!

I think and IUD is probably the only long term BC I'd ever consider. I did really bad on the pill and my body has enough issues that I don't want to be messing with my hormones. Any of the male or female sterilization methods just creep me out. i don't think I'd ever want to give up the option to reproduce and I'd feel really uncomfortable if my partner did the same because so much can change in life and I don't like the permanence of the idea. (This will probably become an issue at some point...he can't wait til he can get a vasectomy).
I've heard a lot of positive things about the newer IUDs and everyone I know who has them has had a good experience. I don't think it'll even be on the table until we have kids already though, but it seems like a good option.
post #224 of 254
The idea of hormonal BC has always really freaked me out. To the point that I used P&P for about three years because I hated condoms but wouldn't go on the pill. DF and I use condoms exclusively now and have never had a problem. Of course I have also been of the mindset that if you choose, as a fertile person, to have sex then you should be prepared for an accidental pregnancy.


I am currently looking into/doing some detoxes and cleanses to get my body healthy and strong for life (and in anticipation of future baby growing). DF and I stopped eating pork and beef as well as drinking soda. Right now we are working to cut out HFCS from our diets. My whole life I have never eaten fruits or vegetables So I ordered a juicer so I can start getting some good vitamins and live foods into my poor abused body. Anyone else working on this area of life right now?
post #225 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
OK, I think I updated everything for everyone who asked to have info added/removed. I also got to add 2 new grads and one new mama-to-be. I always enjoy updating those lists!
Thanks for doing that! I hate to wax sentimental about this stuff, but it really is nice that someones maintained it over time. RicosAlice (who wrote and is credited with much of the intro) is one of the ladies that I met in NMY. I consider her a close dear friend. It makes me smile to see that it's still being kept up.

P.s. maybe it's time for a summer thread? New threads are usually good to regenerate interest.
post #226 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliemae View Post
I am currently looking into/doing some detoxes and cleanses to get my body healthy and strong for life (and in anticipation of future baby growing). DF and I stopped eating pork and beef as well as drinking soda. Right now we are working to cut out HFCS from our diets. My whole life I have never eaten fruits or vegetables So I ordered a juicer so I can start getting some good vitamins and live foods into my poor abused body. Anyone else working on this area of life right now?
I became vegetarian in October 2009, without even thinking about how good it would be for my body. Well, 8 months on and it's the best thing I ever did for myself! It makes me really happy to know that I'll have several years of clean eating under my belt when I do get pregnant, and that I'll have such a healthy lifestyle firmly in place when I'm nursing and raising a family. Now all I have to do is find a veggie boyfriend and make him my veggie husband
post #227 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie View Post

-What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?

-Any more name ideas?

-Where do you want to live/where do you live?

-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?
I was reading through the rest of this thread, and decided to answer these questions.

1. Home, with a midwife, maybe in water. My husband and I don't have a place to live back in the U.S. yet, and we have always lived in co-ops. A home birth in a co-op might be a little weird. Our insurance also doesn't cover homebirth or midwives, and requires birth at the hospital in town that is most-hated by moms. He's a grad student, and I'll be whatever job I can find in January, so I'm not sure if we'll be able to afford the $2700 that the midwife charges!

2. For a while I wanted Cole for a boy and Tera for a girl. It's entomology-related and I'm a total nerd. I still love those, but Cole seems to be getting common. Also, Scandinavian names are the tradition on my mom's side of the fam, and I'd really love to follow it. I'm currently in love with Astrid for a girl, but the hubs doesn't like it and won't say why. This name has also influenced my midwife choice. There's one in town who's a bit famous (and the others used to work for her) who has a dog named Astrid. I don't care how famous she is. I'm going to another one.

3. We're in SW China now, Madison in the U.S. Once hubs gets his PhD, I have no idea where we'll be. I hope for warm and bike-friendly, but will settle for temperate and bike-friendly.

4. One can't help but want to adopt when one lives in China. I haven't been to an orphanage yet, but I am aware of the situation and would be happy as a clam to take one home with me! The current wait is so long though, that I don't know if I could stand it. We'll hit our 1-year anniversary while we're here, and that's the first requirement I think. I'd love more than one kid, but I don't know about actually producing more than one. The eco-guilt might tear me apart.
post #228 of 254
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Originally Posted by JlyGrnMigt View Post
I'd love more than one kid, but I don't know about actually producing more than one. The eco-guilt might tear me apart.
That's me, totally. If I were totally selfish and didn't care, I'd have five kids. I love babies and love kids. However, I also think it's important for me to have a career I love and to be able to support my children if something would ever happen to my DH/DP. The environmental impact is actually number one for me though. I'd love to have just one kid so that I could counteract overpopulation, but I'm so selfish that I know I'll want more. Short of divine intervention though, I just can't have more than two. Even the thought of two fills me with guilt.
post #229 of 254
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Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
New Zealand because, well, why not?! Also, because they have a really awesome vet school with a emphasis on food animals in a system that's not so awful, industrial agriculture, like in the US. Also, according to my boyfriend, they have tuataras (ancient lizards) and they filmed the Lord of the Rings there!! At this point, it looks like it probably won't happen until we have kids and said kids are in grade school. It's always fun to live in another country for awhile though (I lived in France for a year when I was 18).
I know a number of people that have gone to vet school in the Philippines. Cost of living and studying is low, and it's really ideal if you're into free-roaming lizards The vet school is at UPLB in Los Banos, which is not super far from Manila. I've lived there twice for a total of 6 months.
post #230 of 254
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Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie View Post
See, I want a summer baby! I was born in August, and I love not having to share my big day with any holidays. My dad's birthday frequently falls on Father's Day, my mom's is the day before Valentine's Day and my sister's is a few days after Halloween. I get all of August to myself Funny story, but when I lived in Hawaii, we never had school on my birthday since that's the day Hawaii became a state. It was pretty sweet. Plus, I love spring and summer clothes, and plan to show off my bump in bikinis (if I got pregnant at a different time, I'll just have to go to indoor pools to show it off ). It's the one time when everything is all stretched out without any belly rolls or anything, gotta take advantage of that!
Agreed! If things go according to the schedule in my brain, I'll have a baby in May, but there's a fairly good chance it will be later by at least a couple months. One cool thing about a summer baby is that it will be a few months old by the time the cold Wisconsin weather rolls around. I can't imagine having a newborn in all that snow. I think I'd just never leave the house. AND by the time the next summer rolls around, baby will be old enough to go in a bike seat or trailer. I ride my bike everywhere, so this is important to me.

Oh, and I just thought about foodstuff...depending how long food introduction is delayed, I could have local, organic asparagus as a first food. The baby might have to fight me for it, though.

I much prefer summer clothes. Winter always makes me feel frumpy.

KaylaBeanie: are we twins?
post #231 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by JlyGrnMigt View Post
KaylaBeanie: are we twins?
Probably

I'm from Minnesota, and I soooo feel you on the winter thing with babies. That's part of the reason I plan to babywear, because nothing is more annoying than moms dragging in nasty snow with their huge, SUV sized stroller. Plus, having to always put baby in that big snowsuit...ughh. Do not want!

I'm also a true Minnesotan in that I hate whatever season it is. All winter long, I complain about how winter is the worst thing ever and I just want to move somewhere warm. Now that it's 95 degrees everyday, I long for cooler days.
post #232 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie View Post
Probably
I'm also a true Minnesotan in that I hate whatever season it is. All winter long, I complain about how winter is the worst thing ever and I just want to move somewhere warm. Now that it's 95 degrees everyday, I long for cooler days.
I used to be the same way, but I think I just complain a lot in general. I made up my mind a few years ago to at least keep my mouth shut about the heat if I was miserable. I get cold easily, so damnit, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of summer! I'm just annoyed that it's so wet and cold where I am now. I spent my first 2 months in China in Kunming, which is known as the city of eternal spring. I loved it. Now in "Shangri-la" I'm much further from my little climate paradise! At least it's not snowing anymore...

How did this happen to a Michigan girl who moved to Wisconsin?
post #233 of 254
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliemae View Post
Thanks for doing that! I hate to wax sentimental about this stuff, but it really is nice that someones maintained it over time. RicosAlice (who wrote and is credited with much of the intro) is one of the ladies that I met in NMY. I consider her a close dear friend. It makes me smile to see that it's still being kept up.

P.s. maybe it's time for a summer thread? New threads are usually good to regenerate interest.

I was thinking about starting the summer thread up soon. It shouldn't take me as long as last time since everything is updated now. I'll stick it on my list of things to do in the coming week.

I'm trying to get back to a healthy diet after being sick and living by the guidelines of eating whatever I wanted because usually only one thing appealed to me and I needed to keep up the calories. Right now our garden is doing a good job at keeping me eating a lot of leafy greens because they're just out in the backyard. I lean towards traditional foods as a dietary philosophy, along with Michael Pollan's "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." rules. We're already really good at no HFCS and no processed foods and we get all organic or grass fed meats. I just need to get back in the swing of meal planning and cooking so we aren't going out for less healthy food all the time or relying on Bell & Evans chicken fingers (best ever!!) all the time. I really want to cut sugar completely, but it's too scary (spoken like a true addict). I also really need to start supplementing with CLO and calcium. I use a future baby as a motivator for all of that, like, the sooner I start eating really healthy, the sooner I'll be ready to TTC. I'm not sick anymore, so I need to get moving.


I also loved your comment about the asparagus first food. That seems so fitting since it's one of the first crops of the spring! I'm hoping for a spring baby though, so unless I delayed solids til over 12mo, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'll end up pregnant and due in hot, miserable August or something though, in which case, it might work perfectly!
 


Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 5:54pm
post #234 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
JlyGrnMigt- I totally got your Coleoptera reference. My fiance is really into entomology and it's pretty high up there on the list of fields he would have liked to go into (he's a herpetologist but also loves insects, dinosaurs and art). The first time we ever talked about baby names, his first suggestion was Hyla after the genus of tree frogs. (The first thing it made me think of was hymen, so I vetoed it for a first name at least...it's grown on me enough that I'd consider it for a middle name). Twins named Cole and Tera would be awesome!
Oh, I think Hyla is pretty. If there was an m in it, I'd be with you all the way, but I think it's pretty and different without being, like, an annoying misspelling of a popular name. If I was lucky enough to have twins, I don't think I'd be able to resist using Cole and Tera (or Ptera). Unfortunately, twins don't run in my family or my husband's.

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I also loved your comment about the asparagus first food. That seems so fitting since it's one of the first crops of the spring! I'm hoping for a spring baby though, so unless I delayed solids til over 12mo, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'll end up pregnant and due in hot, miserable August or something though, in which case, it might work perfectly!
I love love love asparagus, and I hate that I missed out on it this year. That's exactly what I was thinking with the first crop. I know even super crunchy parents who have introduced food at 4 months, so I wonder how hard it is to hold out for a long time. My mom makes a tasty creamed asparagus too, and it's just going on my list of things to gf-ify and cook when I get back home. Not being able to cook is wearing on me. I'm trying to eat healthy too, and it's hard when everything seems to drown in grease. The benefit of being in a tourist town is that I could pop over to one of the Indian restaurants last night and spend way too much for a huge bowl of delicious moong dal.

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I just finished reading a really interesting book about Chinese adoption (The Red Thread by Ann Hood) and I looked into the requirements out of curiosity. I found out in my research that I'm pretty much completely ineligible for international adoption from any country due to my health issues. I think domestic adoption is still a possibility and that is which way I was leaning anyway if we ever decide to adopt.
I will have to look that book up and see if I can get it on my Kindle. It sounds interesting. That sucks that you're not eligible...even after a few years? China's requirements seem ridiculous to me, though I know they're just trying to find a stable home. The anti-gay thing shouldn't surprise me in Asia anymore, but I still hate it. I am personally torn with domestic adoption. I'd love to help someone out in the U.S., but it seems like anyone given up for adoption is liable to be taken back by the birth parents, who are favored by law. Anyone who is involuntarily up for adoption comes with issues I'm not sure I could handle from day 1.
post #235 of 254
Thread Starter 

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Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 5:52pm
post #236 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
Once you've had cancer, no one wants to let you adopt. Even if I'm years out without a relapse, it's still a no. Besides that, I've been treated for depression for way too long and that's a big no-no too. I was thinking the other day that if I end up having trouble conceiving a baby on my own due to the cancer treatment, I'd be really screwed if I had to go the adoption route, even if the depression wasn't an issue. Seems pretty unfair for a young cancer survivor. I'm just hoping it doesn't ever come to that though.


My sister and I decided that we would surro for each other in case one of us suffered from infertility. I'm sending (future) fertile vibes your way though...I hope that you have a dozen big, healthy babies if that's what you want
post #237 of 254
Adoption:

I've done some research on adoption and the things I found weren't all pretty. There are a lot of good people doing wonderful things out there, but be aware that there are bad ones too. Adoption is a real industry with a lot of money changing hands.

We've talked a lot about adopting through the foster care system. I have a soft spot for helping out more locally anyways so it suits me. I'd like to adopt a child from my community if possible. We've also talked a bit about adopting sibling groups or a child with special needs. I don't think we'll adopt until we are done having Bio kids, but I don't really know

I want a lot of babies I really really do. I want a family full of wonderful little people who I can watch grow. DF wants 2 or 3. I'm working on taking a "one at a time" mindset. But I really really want a lot of kids.


Quote:
Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
I was thinking about starting the summer thread up soon. It shouldn't take me as long as last time since everything is updated now. I'll stick it on my list of things to do in the coming week.

Quote:
I'm trying to get back to a healthy diet after being sick and living by the guidelines of eating whatever I wanted because usually only one thing appealed to me and I needed to keep up the calories. Right now our garden is doing a good job at keeping me eating a lot of leafy greens because they're just out in the backyard. I lean towards traditional foods as a dietary philosophy, along with Michael Pollan's "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." rules. We're already really good at no HFCS and no processed foods and we get all organic or grass fed meats. I just need to get back in the swing of meal planning and cooking so we aren't going out for less healthy food all the time or relying on Bell & Evans chicken fingers (best ever!!) all the time. I really want to cut sugar completely, but it's too scary (spoken like a true addict). I also really need to start supplementing with CLO and calcium. I use a future baby as a motivator for all of that, like, the sooner I start eating really healthy, the sooner I'll be ready to TTC. I'm not sick anymore, so I need to get moving.
I totally agree! I think that it's best to take a more whole foods approach to eating. Now I'm wondering though what kind of supplements others are taking?

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I also loved your comment about the asparagus first food. That seems so fitting since it's one of the first crops of the spring! I'm hoping for a spring baby though, so unless I delayed solids til over 12mo, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'll end up pregnant and due in hot, miserable August or something though, in which case, it might work perfectly!
First foods I have heard highly recommended are egg yokes, or avocado. I love avocado as a first food, it's got a lot of great things for babies. Also IFAIK it's a very unlikely allergen.


Quote:
Originally Posted by JlyGrnMigt View Post
I love love love asparagus, and I hate that I missed out on it this year. That's exactly what I was thinking with the first crop. I know even super crunchy parents who have introduced food at 4 months, so I wonder how hard it is to hold out for a long time. My mom makes a tasty creamed asparagus too, and it's just going on my list of things to gf-ify and cook when I get back home. Not being able to cook is wearing on me. I'm trying to eat healthy too, and it's hard when everything seems to drown in grease. The benefit of being in a tourist town is that I could pop over to one of the Indian restaurants last night and spend way too much for a huge bowl of delicious moong dal.
This is one of the things I plan on being very inflexible on. No solids before 6 months. In my child development classes it became very clear that infants are not ready to digest anything other then milk (or formula).

Even at 6 months most of the "eating" is just going to be exploring things with their mouths. They still need most of their nutrition from BM.
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I am personally torn with domestic adoption. I'd love to help someone out in the U.S., but it seems like anyone given up for adoption is liable to be taken back by the birth parents, who are favored by law. Anyone who is involuntarily up for adoption comes with issues I'm not sure I could handle from day 1.
Once a child is up for adoption the parental rights have been severed. If you foster then the hope is that the kids will end up back with their families. If you are adopting they will only place children that are legally free to be adopted.
Emotional issues are another thing altogether. I haven't figured out yet what I want to do about all of that. Adoption is always an emotionally complicated situation though, no matter what channels you go through.
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Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
Once you've had cancer, no one wants to let you adopt. Even if I'm years out without a relapse, it's still a no. Besides that, I've been treated for depression for way too long and that's a big no-no too. I was thinking the other day that if I end up having trouble conceiving a baby on my own due to the cancer treatment, I'd be really screwed if I had to go the adoption route, even if the depression wasn't an issue. Seems pretty unfair for a young cancer survivor. I'm just hoping it doesn't ever come to that though.
Do you know what your chances are of having trouble? I think that it's a normal thing that most women worry about, at least I do. I know that my mom had a lot of problems TTC my older brother and that's always made me uneasy about my own fertility. I don't know much about it at all, just that there are a lot of options now-a-days.


MeMeMe
I have one of my last three classes every tomorrow! I graduate on Sunday
:ca rrot
post #238 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliemae View Post

I totally agree! I think that it's best to take a more whole foods approach to eating. Now I'm wondering though what kind of supplements others are taking?
I take a multi (not prenatal because I didn't pack them) and an acidophilus pearl. I'm using the Rainbow Light One-A-Day, which I think is food-based. I eat much healthier in the U.S. than I do hear, so I'm glad I brought these with me.


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First foods I have heard highly recommended are egg yokes, or avocado. I love avocado as a first food, it's got a lot of great things for babies. Also IFAIK it's a very unlikely allergen.
I've read this too, but I'll be in Wisconsin...not exactly local, though I love avocadoes. I think it would have to be a sometimes food. Yolks...yuck! I don't think I've ever heard of an asparagus allergy either, so maybe it will work. It's pretty high in B vitamins too iirc.


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This is one of the things I plan on being very inflexible on. No solids before 6 months. In my child development classes it became very clear that infants are not ready to digest anything other then milk (or formula).

Even at 6 months most of the "eating" is just going to be exploring things with their mouths. They still need most of their nutrition from BM.
I was surprised when my friends started their baby so early. She sprouted teeth quickly and they let her scrape them against an apple cut in half. In reality she was probably just getting juice, but they moved on to other raw things after a few weeks. I'm pretty sure she's still being bf'd at 2 years old, and she didn't get cooked foods until about 1.5. Anyway, I agree with you. I'd want to wait at least 6 or 7 months I think. I have a feeling my boobs will work just fine

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Once a child is up for adoption the parental rights have been severed. If you foster then the hope is that the kids will end up back with their families. If you are adopting they will only place children that are legally free to be adopted.
I thought I had read something about a mother coming back after a few years and she had quit the drugs and had a good job and managed to get the kid back in court. Maybe the child was just in the foster system, but it still seemed like it wasn't actually in the best interest of the kid.


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MeMeMe
I have one of my last three classes every tomorrow! I graduate on Sunday
:ca rrot
congrats! What program are you graduating from?
post #239 of 254
Thread Starter 

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Edited by oiseau - 9/27/13 at 5:51pm
post #240 of 254
Quote:
Originally Posted by JlyGrnMigt View Post
I take a multi (not prenatal because I didn't pack them) and an acidophilus pearl. I'm using the Rainbow Light One-A-Day, which I think is food-based. I eat much healthier in the U.S. than I do hear, so I'm glad I brought these with me.
I probably should start a multi and a prenatal. I just have trouble because I don't want to choose the "wrong" brand . Right now I am taking more pills for detox affects then supplements. I take psyllium husks and activated charcoal for a colon cleanse, and I am just finishing up a parasite cleanse with black walnut hall tenure, red cloves, and worm wood. They are the first cleanses of any kind I've done and it's been interesting. I know I'm not getting the best results for my efforts because I haven't changed my eating habits as much as is recommended.

I'm planning on doing a vit. C flush with sodium ascorbate in a few days. I want start taking it as a supplement after that. The flush helps to calculate the dose. I've known about the benefits of this kind of Vit. C for years but this will be the first time I'm trying it myself.

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I've read this too, but I'll be in Wisconsin...not exactly local, though I love avocadoes. I think it would have to be a sometimes food. Yolks...yuck! I don't think I've ever heard of an asparagus allergy either, so maybe it will work. It's pretty high in B vitamins too iirc.
Oh gees, I wasn't even thinking about local I really like the idea of the first food being seasonal and local...hmmm. I do worry about allergies for some reason (idk why, I worry about a lot of things ).
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I was surprised when my friends started their baby so early. She sprouted teeth quickly and they let her scrape them against an apple cut in half. In reality she was probably just getting juice, but they moved on to other raw things after a few weeks. I'm pretty sure she's still being bf'd at 2 years old, and she didn't get cooked foods until about 1.5. Anyway, I agree with you. I'd want to wait at least 6 or 7 months I think. I have a feeling my boobs will work just fine
What most appeals to me (allergies aside) is going with the flow at the time. When they are reaching for a food and they want to stick it in their mouths (and they are old enough IMO) then I will probably just let them. Ideally papa and I will be eating mostly raw good foods at that point anyways . If that fails then I'm still partial to avocados

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I thought I had read something about a mother coming back after a few years and she had quit the drugs and had a good job and managed to get the kid back in court. Maybe the child was just in the foster system, but it still seemed like it wasn't actually in the best interest of the kid.
I'd guess there are horror stories with any route you choose to build a family. I hope that wont stop you completely from looking into it as an option someday.

With the foster system the goal is pretty much always to reunite families. DF and I have talked about fostering in the next year or so if our lives our stable. It's hard because you really have to believe that being with the bio family is always in the best interest of the child. There are two VERY polarized sides to that debate (as I'm sure you can imagine). All you'd have to do to see them is to hang around the adoption boards here.
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congrats! What program are you graduating from?
Thanks!
My program was a double major in Early Childhood Development and Elementary Education.


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Originally Posted by oiseau View Post
The chemo I had has about a 20% chance of causing infertility. I'm really not worried though because my cycle stayed relatively normal throughout treatment. It was sometimes a bit longer than normal, but for the most part, it was the same as it's always been and it's continued to stay that way since I finished chemo. I won't know til we try though, but I'm not anticipating any problems.
That is good to hear, I'm glad you are not worried. I hope we're still in touch when you start TTC, what an exciting journey!
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My biggest concern is actually about the radiation to my chest. They tried to block as much breast tissue as they could, but my breasts were still partially in the treatment field. There's a chance that could cause problems for breastfeeding, but again, we won't know until I try to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is something that is SO important to me (and my fiance) so it terrifies us both that I might have problems. I think I'm just going to be prepared to do as much as possible to make it happen and if we run into problems, I'll hunt down donor milk and a SNS.
it's great to be chatting with well educated/researched like-minded ladies again!
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