Should we give away our dog?

[RooRooDog]

I would appreciate some advice on this. We have 4 dogs, currently, and with the baby I think it is getting to be too much. Three of the dogs are older, and pretty relaxed, but the fourth is really a handful-
Basically, we got him (a dalmation/pit bull mix) as an older puppy from the shelter about 3 months before I became pregnant. The pregnancy was a surprise At the time we were in the middle of gutting the bathroom and second floor of our house, so we had to spend most of my pregnancy putting it all back together very quickly for a baby. I was also working part time and attending school part time, so the puppy didn't get much attention, poor guy. And now, with the baby, he doesn't get much attention, either.
So the result of this is that he is fantastically ill-behaved. He has seriously eaten well over $1000 of our stuff. He gets on all the furniture, barks, howls, jumps on the kitchen counters, eats trash, etc. and generally drives me really crazy. He is a really sweet dog, though. He loves everyone he meets, and is gentle and always nice to the baby.
I hate yelling at him and putting him outside when he is bad, because I know it is our fault- he never was trained. But I will not have time anytime soon to train him at this point. And I do NOT have the patience to deal with him anymore. I'm getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night; dealing with a bad dog is now and will be low priority on my list for a long time.
I've been in touch with a no-kill dalmation rescue organization that has space for him... I am so torn. I do love this dog, and I know if I kept him that in a few years he would be a great playmate for our daughter. I am just losing my mind with him right now. I feel bad, though, because he deserves attention and long walks and treats and not being yelled at all the time.
And to compound the problem, my husband is quite fond of him, although he does not stay at home all day with the dog, clean up after him, walk him, have the baby woken mid-nap by him, etc.
Should we give him away?

[Red Pajama]

I don't know if you should give him away, especially if your husband is fond of the dog. Is there anyway husband can work with him and teach him some house manners? What does he think about giving the dog away?

The no-kill dalmatian rescue seems like a good option, if it's the direction you want to go.

Do you have a crate for him?
As for house manners, I found that the easiest way to teach house manners was to tie the dog to me throughout the day. He was simply attached to me. He was to sit or lie down when I stopped to do something, and was tied to the fridge when I cooked.

Good luck with your choices.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

I gave away a dog when my dd was born and spent most of the first year of her life dealing with a g-tube (feeding tube) and oxygen.
We had two other dogs and two cats at the time. I regret it to this day.
My thought is this: it is temporary, kids grow so darn fast, the worst will be over before you know it.
And, unfortunately, in this economy, your dog will become one of many dogs who have been turned in--a lot of people lose their homes and have no choice but to give up their pets.
Ask your husband to help out a little more, since he likes the dog. My dog was a baby, too, and I was in the same situation. My dd (and now I have a ds, too) want a dog now more than ever--because the other animals that we had have since died of old age.
So it really stinks. I feel guilty. I know the dog's owner, but I still feel like I could have dealt with the hassle for a while and everyone would be benefitting today.
My husband is one to hold a grudge, hopefully yours is not like that, in case you do decide to give the dog up.
Best of luck.

[RooRooDog]

Thanks for the suggestions. We have a crate, but he howls and chews his feet when he's in it. He's been quite destructive and dirty- I guess I feel like I am cleaning up after him all day, instead of being with my daughter.
I have heard of the "tie the dog to you" approach. He is well behaved when we are looking, though I may give it a shot, but my patience is wearing pretty thin as the baby is only sleeping in 2 hour stretches. Right now, dog gone = the best thing ever in my mind. That's what I'm worried about, though- if the time ever comes when I am not sleep-deprived, will I regret giving him away?
My husband knows about the situation, and has told me it is my decision, since I'm in charge of 99% of the cleaning and dog care. Hopefully, I can have a better perspective on this in the morning.

[angie7]

I think you just described my brother's dog! He was doing the same things that your dog was doing except they didn't have a baby in the house as reason to his behavior. My brother got him when he was 12 weeks old from our local pound and shortly afterwards, badly broke his foot and was unable to train, walk, etc. the dog and you know his wife couldn't lift a finger to help train him This dog also grew up with no toys, dog beds, etc. b/c my brother's wife thinks they will chew other things if you give them toys and will lay on your bed if you give them beds :

Anyways, long story short, he ate her glasses for the SECOND time (how hard is it to put them up?) and she demanded he get rid of the dog. She's a control freak so he listened and called me in tears to help find this dog a home in 1 day. I agreed to take the dog and try to find him a home. He was here for 3 weeks and while he was a sweet dog, he was a lot of trouble. He was not getting a long with my other dogs and I drew the line when he jumped up on my counter heighth kitchen table and stole my twins' food while they were still eating it! He is at the pound now and up for adoption.

I felt horrible giving up on him but with my house full of critters, a litter of kittens on the way, and twins...I just couldn't handle him.

If you are home 24/7 with the dog and feel you can't care for him the way you should, I would rehome. I'm not a fan of rehoming (I'm a former rescuer and still do it on occasion) but I also understand that sometimes life and circumstances get in the way of what we want. Can you stand this for a few years? Who says he will be better in a few years? I would suggest you hire a trainer to come to your home and give you a few tips and go from there. My brother did this but it didn't help with his dog but maybe it will for yours.

GL.

[Ola_]

It sounds to me like he needs a lot of exercise (esp. given his breed and age) and some training also. A lot of the destruction and anxiety may be due to lack of exercise. If you can figure out a way for him to get that on a daily basis (husband taking him on a long walk before and after work, or a dog walker or doggie daycare setup) it will help a lot. But if you can't do that, then I would rehome him - it's not fair to him to have you get angry and punish him all the time.

Originally Posted by RooRooDog

I have heard of the "tie the dog to you" approach. He is well behaved when we are looking, though

Hey, this is a GOOD thing! Sounds like this setup may work well for you then. And in the meantime he will learn to settle down when you're busy doing something. He probably still has the adolescent dog "ants in his pants".

[mamallama]

Tell me if I have this right--you have a 5mo who doesn't sleep, and an adolescent pit-bull/dal. It's so freakin' cold right now that long walks are out of the question. Even if your dh has the fortitude to walk the dog in this weather, the (short-coated, relatively thin) dog couldn't handle the kind of exercise that would actually help. Taking the baby out in a wrap or sling is out of the question.

Of course you're going crazy!!

This phase of your life is tough, no doubt, but it will be short lived. In a couple of months you and your baby will settle into a more predictable pattern and it will be easier to get the dog some exercise and training.

I wouldn't make a decision based on what is going on right now. This is transitory.

I would commit to keeping the dog for 6-10 more weeks.

As soon as you're able, as soon as baby's sleep goes from inconceivably bad to something you can live with, I would start training the dog. Basic stuff--sit, down, stay. 5 minutes at a time, 2-3 times per day. If you have never trained basic commands, there are tons of quick and easy resources online. Don't kill yourself deciding between them--just pick a method and do it.

Learn about crate training and start working on it. Again, just pick a resource and do it. Basically, you start with rewarding the dog for going in the crate. Then you shut the door for two minutes. Then you shut the door for 5 minutes. You train the dog to accept the crate. You have to work on it every day, but it really doesn't take much time each day, and the rewards are definitely worth it.

When the weather breaks and you can get the dog some exercise, do it. Make exercise a daily priority.

I think if you rehome the dog before giving training a chance, you are likely to regret it. I would also bet that you will be pleasantly surprised by the results you get just with basic training and exercise.

[buttercup784ever]

It may be better to think of how you will feel later on right now, and then make your decision, so don't take that I am being mean or don't understand how sick and tired you are. I DO!

That being said, how would you feel if you found out that nobody wanted your dog because of his behavior issues? Big adolescent dogs are probably the hardest to find homes for, and big adult dogs are probably second hardest. He may never find a permanent home if you give him up. You got him when he was a puppy, and he was cute, and well, everybody loves a puppy. And now he's a big dog that hasn't been disciplined. Not many folks want to take that on.

You kind of sound like you've already given up on him. How about trying for a month to think about absolutely NOT giving him up? Come up with a plan with your husband. Maybe he can walk him, like someone else suggested. Tying him to you is a great idea too. That way when you have an extra couple minutes here and there you can work with him. Put some doggy biscuits in your pocket, and just have him sit for you or make eye contact when you say his name, and treat him.

I know it seems like a low priority, but when you think about what it's like for a homeless pet out there...it may be life or death for him. Once you give him up his destiny is out of your hands.

[NaturalMamma]

Only you could make that call. I'm surprised you made it this far. Our DD was very colicky and high needs through most of her 1st 3 yrs of life. I could never had dealt with a dog. I would have ended up in the hospital.

But back to you! I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world to give yourself a timetable of when you would make a final decision. Could you see a dog behaviorist who could help you work out a plan? Could you hire someone to walk the dog and give him exercise everyday?

I think it's nice that your DH will go along with whatever you decide, yet I think he needs to sit down with you and brainstorm (b/c it's hard to think rationally when you have a newborn and are sleep-deprived) and share responsibility of the decision. It's too much for you to bear alone. (((hugs)))