Telling Future Employer about Pregnancy

[poorlittlefish]

So, I have been very unhappy at my current job and with the economic climate the way it is, lay offs have been threatened. I began a job search 6 months ago and have finally found a position. I got my offer letter on Friday night. Problem is, I haven't told them that I am 16 weeks pregnant. I have had several interviews but just started really showing a week or so ago so they have no idea. I was told by 2 friends in HR to wait until I have an offer letter in hand since at that point, they legally cannot rescind the offer. I have it. On Monday I am planning to call the man who would be my immediate supervisor to tell him...does anyone have any advice? I am nervous that they are going to think that I was dishonest and be angry.

A little background, this is a sales position in a smaller company, owned by a larger one. So, there aren't going to be a ton of people in the office to cover for me. It will be hard for them. I am due in June so I will be working there about 5 months. Since I won't have worked there for a year, I won't qualify for FMLA so TECHNIALLY they don't need to give me my job back after my leave. I do want 12 weeks, I don't know how I could have gone back sooner with my first baby so I just hope they don't say 6 weeks or nothing. Ok, I will stop now--Please give me some advice or your thoughts!!

Thanks!

[Starcat2]

It's a hard spot to be in.

Maybe you can give your supervisor/boss a letter on your first day from your doctor stating you can't lift anything above x amount and go into detail. "I'm expecting a child in June. I know that I won't be able to have full FMLA, I thought that we could get this out of the way and planned."

[tnh2007]

Congrats on the new job!!!!!!
It can be a tough spot, but I think being honest and up front is best. I am actually in a very similar situation... 16 weeks pregnant, just got offered a new job last wednesday. Also was not really showing in the interview. However I did know that one of the interviewers knew I was pregnant... I don't know if she divulged that info to the rest cause I know she was pulling for me. When they called to offer it to me, I just explained that I was pregnant, and although I am confident it will not interfere with my ability to do the job, I wanted to be very up front about the fact that I am pregnant. I explained that I have Dr. visits about once a month but will happily arrange those on my lunch, and my plans for maternity leave. I then asked if that all sounded like something she could work with. She said that would be fine and I didn't have to worry any more.
I think it should be fine... legally I'm pretty sure they can't change their mind with that knowledge, but I understand the fear of not having a job to return to. But, just do a great job and then they will make it work while you are gone, but will miss you and be happy to have you back!!!!
Good luck!

[~pi]

Originally Posted by poorlittlefish

I am nervous that they are going to think that I was dishonest and be angry.

I don't think it would be reasonable for them to think that. LOTS of women don't tell anyone until they are into the second trimester.

I agree with pp -- be very professional and matter-of-fact about it, and they will likely respond in kind. They offered you a job; they clearly like you!

Something like, "By the way, I've just started telling colleagues and friends that I am pregnant and due in June. I want to assure you that this won't interfere with my performance over the next five months. I will have medical appointments to attend but will do my utmost to schedule those so that they do not conflict with work. I am hoping to take the usual 12 weeks leave without pay once I deliver; perhaps we can talk about that in a few months once I've settled into the job and you've had a chance to observe my performance."

[Elismum]

I just went through this exact situation. I told the new job after I had an offer and negotiated salary. But I wanted to know maternity leave because it would be a deal-breaker for me if it was only 6 weeks. Of course, it was six weeks with pay at 75% plus vacation. I'm the primary breadwinner in our house and in my current job, I can take 12 weeks plus my vacation paid. So a cut in pay isn't an option and although I want a new job, maternity leave means a lot to me.

When I told the guy who hired me that I was pregnant, I could tell he wasn't happy. And why would he be? As for the leave issue, the recruiter I was using suggested I ask for two more weeks unpaid plus a signing bonus to cover the pay difference. Two days later I got a letter rescinding the offer based on "an impasse" in negotiations of salary, leave and signing bonus. The letter was very "CYA" since they can't revoke the offer just because of pregnancy. But I think it gave them an out. It left a bad taste in my mouth but I'm glad I was honest about it up front and knew the leave before I was working there and had no options. My goal is to stick out this year and then start looking again.

If you really want the job no matter what the leave policy is, you might want to wait until you have the job.

[montlake]

Originally Posted by ~pi

I don't think it would be reasonable for them to think that. LOTS of women don't tell anyone until they are into the second trimester.

it may not be reasonable to you but i've had a couple of people over the years reveal that they were pregnant after accepting an offer. I found it deceptive and it most definitely informed the opinions of superiors about that person. If they would have disclosed the information it would not have been an issue, they would have gotten the offer regardless but intentionally waiting until after the offer was accepted came across horribly.

[celestialgrapes]

Tough situation

Poorlittlefish, I'm in a similar situation and have been reading as much as I can about it all over the web. The only difference is that I don't currently have a job and am only about 12 weeks, but not showing yet.

From what I've read, every scenario you can imagine has happened. The trends fall into two main categories. 1) If you're looking for a more entry level or lower-level position with a company, they are more likely to not offer you the job, or rescind the offer. They may be doing it because you're pregnant, but if they don't cite that as the reason for withdrawing an offer, it's a lot harder to prove. 2) If you're looking for a higher level position, more often with a larger company, there's generally a lot more room for open negotiation during the late interview/negotiation phase prior to starting the job.

As Montlake mentioned, sometimes the company feels lied to if you don't disclose your pregnancy up front. Sometimes it will color their impression of you. On the other hand, sometimes it won't. The most compelling reason (for me) to not feel pressured to reveal pregnancy before starting work is the fact that the company will not disclose facts that the candidate may view as unfavorable during the interview. If it really doesn't matter to the company, then it really shouldn't matter when you tell them, as long as it's a responsible distance from your time off, you have reasonable expectations of leave, you're able to do the work required of you, and you intend to return to work afterwards. I agree with everyone that any disclosure should be done professionally (and without apology - after all, you're bringing the next generation of workers into the world).

If you're able to learn more about how the company works and their view on pregnancy and maternity before revealing your pregnancy or accepting the position, that's your best bet. Unfortunately, sometimes it's very hard to do.

Anyway, that's my opinion after scouring the internet for other stories of looking for jobs while pregnant. Best of luck to you!

[poorlittlefish]

Be Careful

Thank you for all your responses.

I actually wrote another post about this but I accepted the job with their comments that they would work around my maternity leave. I didn't, but should have, clarified what the leave was, assuming 12 weeks. They are only offering me 6 total weeks. I am pretty sure they were upset about it too because I am only getting 5 days of vacation for the first 2 years. This is for a fairly high paid professional job. I am shocked and feel I have no negotiating power because I waited to tell them. I have so many regrets about this process so please, if you wait to tell, be careful and learn about their policies before you sign anything.

[Equuskia]

Originally Posted by montlake

it may not be reasonable to you but i've had a couple of people over the years reveal that they were pregnant after accepting an offer. I found it deceptive and it most definitely informed the opinions of superiors about that person. If they would have disclosed the information it would not have been an issue, they would have gotten the offer regardless but intentionally waiting until after the offer was accepted came across horribly.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of discrimination against pregnant women in the US. That's a fact. The more you're showing, the less likely you are to get a job, no matter how qualified you are. Hell, women of child bearing years are discriminated against because eventually (in the eyes of the employer/company) they will get pregnant, which mean increased cost in health care, maternity leave, having to hire someone temporarily to take her place, etc. This discrimination is very real, and I cannot fault a woman for hiding her pregnancy.