Bed-Sharing Failure, Now What?

[candelaria80]

Hello all,
From the time our DD was born I had beautiful visions of her resting between DH and I, nursing through the night cuddling, etc...however, our reality was just different. She just does not enjoy bedsharing. She gets too hot, wiggles and grunts until I put her into the side car sleeper we eventually purchased. She honestly doesn't even like being rocked or nursed to sleep any longer, just put her down awake and sleeply and she finds her thumb and it's off to sleepland.
So I let go of that dream and I am fine with that, my question is now she is 4.5 months and able to sit up and roll over and I know the next step is pulling herself up. This cannot be safe in the little Arm's Reach we have so I am gussing we have to transition her to her dusty, lonely crib right? She is probably ready, but I am not. She is still so small! There is no room in our bed room for a full size crib and she does have a beautiful vaccant nursery right down the hall but...Anyway, just wondering if anyone has had any similar issues and how you dealt with them. Do I just put her in her room and listen to the monitor all night? Is it even safe in your opinion? Just looking for any feedback and or support.
Thanks in advance,
Jess

[peaceful_mama]

What about a smaller 'crib'? I know a few people that have used pack n plays for just the reason you said. (yeah it's another 'thing' to purchase, and she *does* have the crib and the nursery, but if it makes *you* feel better and works for her...there's always a consignment store for both the initial purchase *and* to take it back to when you are done. ) or like I see them come up periodically on our freecycle.

[Megan73]

We came to the same conclusion with bed-sharing so don't feel like you're the only one.
Our local public health department's literature says that babies should be in the same room as their parents until at least six months to reduce the risk of SIDS. I didn't investigate this claim but, like you, I wanted my baby close.
It would be a stretch to say his full-sized crib "fit" in our bedroom but we were able to squeeze it in by removing most of the furniture from the room. It worked until he was almost 1 then he moved into his own room - and barely seemed to notice.
I have also seen smaller-scale cribs for sale here: www.foundations.com

[mysticmomma]

could you turn that empty nursery into a "dressing" room with all your dressers and such to fit the crib in?

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by mysticmomma

could you turn that empty nursery into a "dressing" room with all your dressers and such to fit the crib in?

That's what I was going to suggest. I bet the full sized crib will fit into your bedroom if you move one or more dressers from your bedroom into the "nursery."

I woudln't even worry about side-carring the crib. If she's happy being placed down to sleep, and doesn't need to be snuggled down, she'll be fine with the crib anywhere in the bedroom (next to your side of the bed, or by the foot of the bed- wherever you can get it to fit.)

[mysticmomma]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

That's what I was going to suggest. I bet the full sized crib will fit into your bedroom if you move one or more dressers from your bedroom into the "nursery."

I woudln't even worry about side-carring the crib. If she's happy being placed down to sleep, and doesn't need to be snuggled down, she'll be fine with the crib anywhere in the bedroom (next to your side of the bed, or by the foot of the bed- wherever you can get it to fit.)

Great minds Ruthla!

[crunchy_mommy]

You could also put your mattress on the floor and a small mattress (from the cosleeper or crib) beside it -- we did this because we didn't have room for the whole crib either ('course DS prefers to be on my mattress near me but he occasionally likes the separate area!)

[anj_rn]

My DS slept in the Pack n play in our room until he was 10 months old. He took naps in it and slept in it when we traveled until he was too long for it. It was also great whent he was mobile if I needed a potty break and needed a safe place to put him for 5 minutes.

[mysticmomma]

and... NOT a failure! You are responding to your babe's needs!

[lonegirl]

Which Arm's Reach do you have? Ours was the Universal and it could be turned into a PAck and Play. What we had done was put a Dresser back against the co-sleeper to make a tall wall.

[TzippityDoulah]

my 2nd child HATED bed sharing. she would scream... she wanted her own space. I finally just gave up. bedsharing should never be agianst a child's will! it's supposed to be for them, not despite them lol

what if you get the kinda crib that turns into a daybed? leave one size open towards the bed?

[candelaria80]

Thanks everyone, I actually have a lot to think about. I never thought about taking out the dresser and bringing in the crib...duh! The crib is the kind that turns into the toddler bed so I uess we may be able to use it like a large co sleeper? I also like the idea of the larger Play Pack, I just assumed that once they were able to pull up all wouldn't be safe. I wish I would have read up on the Arm's Reach options more before we bought the one we did, I didn't know there was another with the option for longer use. Oh well, live and learn!
Thanks for all of your ideas, thoughts and kind words.

[jennybean0722]

We have a porta crib. Just a smaller crib, perfect until they are about walking age! Good luck.