Christmas Present Waste

[HappyMommy2]

Can you stand another vent about family Christmas parties?? We finally had our Yankee Swap this weekend, since the weather had cancelled it on prior occasions.

There were 25 adults there, each bringing a $20 present. The gifts were almost all cluttery junk, and it just breaks my heart that $500 goes to complete waste! Well, not all. There were 4 restaurant gift cards that will get used, and were fought over and exchanged numerous times. You can tell by everyone's face that they hate what they opened!

Several comments were made about "crap nobody wants" by the younger crowd. It just makes me so mad that $40 out of our limited budget gets thrown down the drain. We came home and put our presents directly into the "sell" pile for next Spring's garage sale!

I asked my hubby what his family would say if I suggested we all put our desired charity in a basket, and then gave the chosen charity the $500. He said they would tell me to go sh!t in my hat! And they would!

So I said we should do a lottery. Three people could win $250, $150, $100. At least 3 people would go home with something decent!

So sad and pathetic on so many levels. Frugally, "Clutter-ly", wastefully, etc. ... especially this year when so many people are in need.

[Babina's Mommy]

My stepdad's family does this. We have around a $10 limit though and like you, I just don't really see the point....but still...there are all these presents being purchased that no one really wants. This year there were only a couple of "good" things...a Chia herb garden which I nabbed, a Dunkin Donuts gift card...that's about it...the cluttery junk includes scented candles, some ugly jewelry, wine glasses which my hub ended up with, which we do not need...my brother made a joke about us smashing the wine glasses for fun (you'd have to know my brother) and also, my grandmother is the one who runs the game and the rules change each year, I swear. One year she says that the first three people get to pick again, then she changed it to the first two, then five...lol...

[StrawberryFields]

I totally understand what you are saying and I feel the same way after my kids have a birthday party/christmas/etc. I feel so bad about how people have wasted their money on so much gimmicky cluttery random stuff that will end up in the throw pile within a week or two. I would seriously rather people go in together and spend $5-$10 each and get a single toy or two then to just waste $20, $25+ of their hard earned money on waste! A good 80% of dd's first christmas gifts were in the donation bin 6 weeks later. And her second birthday just passed and I can name at least 5 pointless toys that went straight out without a second look from her. I honestly just wish they would hold on to their money, spend half as much and go in together with someone, or if all else fails make a gift basket with crayons and glue and stickers and paint.

I'm seriously not trying to dictate what people buy but I just feel so BAD when I think about how at least $100 worth of toys was just boxed up and put right into the basement. People worked hard for that money, you know?

[zebra15]

IDK, I know families that have those type of holiday exchanges and many of the presents are recycled items.

[Jane]

We started doing one gift as a couple to cut the expense when things were really tight. We aren't allowed to do that anymore. Shrug. Someone decreed - oh well, not my family of origin, not my job to fight that fight. I don't have a good solution. I love it to be an ugly scarf exchage - bring an ugly scarf, leave with a different ugly scarf! Or ugly t-shirt. Or book.

[cedoreilly]

I never had to deal with this as a family thing but my work as well as one of the club I belong have done this. I just politely don't take part. Don't bring a gift and quietly don't take a number. No one has ever given me a hard time about not taking part.

[dachshundqueen]

As the years have gone by, my DH's family and my brother specifically, have decided that in order to spend their money and time wisely it is easier to allow me to purchase what I know the children will use. DH's grandparents send us checks - then I send them lists with pics next to the them prior to Christmas and pics after Christmas of the kids playing with the items. DH's parents reimburse me after we discuss what items are sought after/needed by the children.

The eldest is now 4.5, so it's been a few years in the making - but now everyone is happier. I did not push this, but people seem to have just come along somehow. They're pretty frugal people.

For others, I have determined that I will not purchase items like you described. I will only purchase things I know for certain will be loved and used (gift cards, food items, cookbooks for people on a specific diet, a knit sweater my Stepmom is in love with). I simply won't engage in the foolishness cluttery stuff. People who know me IRL know it makes me crazy.

Don't participate, and tell them why. The first year it pissed people off, nowadays - they've accepted it and moved on.

Liz

[mnnice]

Originally Posted by zebra15

IDK, I know families that have those type of holiday exchanges and many of the presents are recycled items.

You can do this even if it's not the formal "rules" DH always brings book he has read in the last year one of the family gift exchanges. This year he brought three books (a trilogy) that my brother had read and given to him, then DH read and enjoyed it and now he exchanged it. Anyway, DH spent no money maybe a third person will read the books.

[zoebird]

it takes a lot for some families to let go of stuff = love or celebration or whatever.

i'm all about gift cards. i love to give them. this year, we did gas gift cards. people LOVED them. if someone isn't asking for something specific.

[ASusan]

Can you and your DH participate as a couple (one gift?), or just DH, since it is his family?

I understand where you are coming from. However, I recently reconnected with extended family who does a Yankee swap - and we had a blast. The towel set we received is great! And people had so much fun scrabbling over a hoodie sweatshirt. It was clear that at least two of the presents were things that made an appearance each year. One of them was packaged in this box, which totally fooled me. It took me several minutes for me to catch on, even demanding who got the griddle last year and how much did they really use it (when it became obvious that the box was filled with breakfast items - pancake mix, real maple syrup...).

[ArtsyMomma]

Our family does a white elephant swap. There are definitely some useless, really wasteful gifts but we have fun. We do a $25-50 price range/limit. This year I gave a hot pink Snuggie and a $20 Barnes and Noble gift card, I left with some stainless steel water bottles. A taxidermied squirrel makes the rounds each year, and re-gifting is allowed and encouraged!

[nascarbebe]

I think this all the time when I go to kids' parties around here. So often the gifts are junky, or even if it's a "nice" plastic toy, I know it will just get ignored and tossed in a pile of more plastic toys. This is why I always insist that people bring no presents to our parties. At one point my kids will be old enough to notice but for now I'm enjoying it.

[sunflower.mama]

OP - instead of selling the items you received, can you save them and use them for your contribution next year? Chances are, no one would remember, and even if they did...wouldn't it be kind of funny? You could do that every year until you get something good?

My kids' birthdays are in late summer/early fall and I have gotten away w/small parties to date. I really dread the day we have to invite 20 kids and wind up with all that junk!!!!

[Turquesa]

Originally Posted by sunflower.mama

OP - instead of selling the items you received, can you save them and use them for your contribution next year? Chances are, no one would remember, and even if they did...wouldn't it be kind of funny? You could do that every year until you get something good?

I was just about to post that!

Here's a thought-provoking book that touches on this topic. I haven't read it yet, but I heard the author interviewed on NPR/PRI's Marketplace.