Oh, what fun - this is exactly the discussion I feel like being in today!!!
Sorry, will try to tone down the exuberance...
I haven't been in this neighborhood much lately, so here is a brief intro - I am a long-time radical unschooler - long before I ever even heard the term. I was pretty much unschooled in the 60s and 70s (long story for another time!), then mostly unschooled ElderSon (28 YO, daddy of 2, in the army now) in the 80s and 90s, then mainly unschooling now with the Dumplings (14 YO BigGirl, 13 YO YoungSon, with autism and dyslexia), and soon to be adoptive Mama to the Minions (7 YO LittleGuy, and 9 YO LittleGirl, and maybe their 6 YO twin sisters someday). Foster kids are required to be in Public School, so I am learning another perspective. There is some chance I will end up raising my grandchildren (1 and 3 YO now), so I am still very much involved in the educational world. To put all (or most of) my cards on the table, I am a nerd with various Aspergerish tendencies.
Educating my children has never been separate from raising my children. Similarly, living my life has never been separate from learning. A critical person looking at our lives might see my interactions with the Dumplings (the teens) as educational neglect, and my foster kids as getting the "better education". But a few minutes talking with my kids would show the difference in their educations. The Little Ones may be able to spout off dates, but the Big Ones understand concepts and principles. YoungSon (the one with autism and supposedly a 72 IQ) may not know what year the Civil War ended, but he can talk about the Reconstruction and Buffalo Soldiers. That is because we heard Bob Marley singing "Buffalo Soldiers" on the car radio, and he asked. So we researched it on the internet when we got home. That is unschooling to me.
My Public School kids would probably never ask, or forget they were interested when we got home, or space out when I found the answer (the eyes glass over...). Anyway, they would not know or care about the answer 3 days later. If I took the same hands-off approach with these kids, and they weren't in PS, maybe there would be educational neglect. Yes, I understand about deschooling. Maybe someday I will choose to unschool these Little Guys (hard call for psychiatric reasons). But I see so clearly every day the difference between learning for the love of learning, and learning for the test, or the grades, or the teacher's approval, or whatever motivates them.
So, to answer the original question, I am much more guilty of educational neglect with my public school kids. It is totally possible and acceptable for me to hardly participate in their education, while looking like a traditional, caring mother. And I can see how my approach with the teens could look neglectful. YoungSon spends many hours playing video and computer games. And yet somehow, because it was important to him, he has learned to read, despite some pretty huge obstacles. BigGirl is currently planning to be a neurologist - she recognizes she will need math and science beyond her intrinsic interests. She is willing to do this for her goal. I have never regulated her computer or TV time in any way. She prefers reading, usually non-fiction about women's rights. She has never been interested in math, but is studying from a GED prep book, with the idea that that will get her to high school level. Seems like an OK start to me. She is planning to start community college next September.
I have spent many years (at least 40!!!) defending unschooling. I think the only true proof is in the pudding. I see where unschooled kids are in comparison to PS'd kids. Nuff said.