Nightweaning Advice Needed

[Ashley_R]

My husband and I decided it time to nightwean DD (she'll be 2 on Tuesday). We tried to do it before but she will not fall back asleep for me, she just keeps crying and thats not the experience we're going for. She would for DH if he got up and bounced her. The problem is that he works nights. Any advice on how to nightwean without DH there to help.

[ellesmom]

I have noticed that it only seemed to take a few days to night wean both my kids. Maybe, if you could do it when you dh would be home for a vacation. Other than that... I am not sure! That is a tough situation, and I have not been able to night wean my kids without my husband there to help!

[sarahtdubb]

How long is she crying in your arms? I ask because when we started nightweaning my son, he cried INSANELY and I thought "this is never going to work" and almost gave up--but it turned out he only cried for about 3 minutes. Then he let me read a book to him. We have been determined to stay in bed for nightweaning, since I don't see having to dance around with him in the living room as a good alternative to nursing! The first few nights we read for 2-3 hours, but he actually did fall asleep sitting next to me, which was amazing. DH was there reading with us, but my son wanted to cuddle with me, even without milk. Good luck!

[Halfasianmomma]

I agree with the pp. I nightweaned my DD solo and though it was hard to hear DD cry, I stuck to my guns and we both made it through unscathed. When I actually timed it, DD would only really *cry* for 4 minutes, always in arms, or having her back rubbed. It took maybe 2-3 nights for the hard part to pass, and then another 3 to get her used to the schedule, and before I knew it, she was sleeping from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. without waking. She is now 18 months and sleeps from 8:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. without waking.

The most difficult instance was after a night of regression where I woke DD up by being sick and then nursed her back to sleep at 3 a.m.; the following night, she wanted the same thing to happen and when I refused, she cried on and off for 2 hours! I rocked, I gave her water, I sang, I shushed her, I rubbed her back, and even tried to lie next to her "pretending" to sleep. Eventually, she fell asleep exhausted. The next night, she was back on her schedule and only woke to wimper a bit.

So, it *is* possible, you just have to keep reminding yourself that if you give in, you'll have to start over again the next night.

[mamasthree]

I nightweaned dd#3 by myself when she was 15 months old. I just kept telling her that "mommy milk" was asleep. I would rock & cuddle her, and, yes, she would cry some, but never very long (though it seemed long, LOL). So we stopped nursing, but she still woke 1x a night until she was 2 and I had to rock her. Oh well!

DD#4 still wakes several times a night to nurse and I think I'm going to have to do it all over again!

[KristenMort]

Night/Nap weaning

I am in the same boat! That is actually why I registered to ask advice. My daughter will be 2 Feb. 4th. She will wake sometimes at 11:30 and want to nurse all night long. If she doesn't wake till 1 or 2 it's fine with me, but I need some time to sleep with out her. My body just gets so sore. I did what everybody says and the first night she did great. The next two nights even better. Then the third night hit and she woke every hour crying. I would have to talk to her about fun things during the day to distract her. She would finally fall asleep only to wake again in 30 minutes to an hour. This went on all night for the rest of the week. I then decided I needed some sleep and she is back to nursing all night. I just don't know what to do that will be gentle to her. She hardly eats during the day and only drinks my milk, no other. So she definitely is not ready to wean during the day. Does anyone have any gentle suggestions?

[SnglAPmama]

Kristen, your daughter sounds a lot like mine! I tried night weaning three times. Each time, I talked to her about it for a couple days beforehand. I talked about how we could nurse during the day but at night "boo boos" were going to sleep. We were almost successful each time and then she got sick. I think she got sick on purpose, (jk) but each illness was causing her to feel sick enough to not eat or drink anything, so we were back to nursing around the clock. I gave up night weaning because I felt it was unfair to her for me to tell her we weren't going to nurse any more at night and then not stick to it. Even though she was nursing all night and I was sore and tired. I also noticed that when the air is dry, she asks to nurse more at night, so we are using 2 humidifiers: one in the living room, one in the bedroom (we have a very small apartment). I've also started keeping water next to the bed for her and offer it the 2nd time she asks to nurse at night. My daughter turned 3 today and in the past 3 weeks, her waking and asking to nurse at night has reduced dramatically. I guess what got me through was finally just giving in to being tired, and reminding myself that I will miss these night nursings when she is all grown up. In (almost) hindsight I also believe that she really needed all that night nursing. She has shown that the more dependent she is on me, the more secure she feels and independent she behaves in public. I've also come to think that being a mother really means not sleeping much. At least that's what I tell myself to stay somewhat sane about it :-) I guess all that changed in the end was my idea of what sleep "should" be like and just accepting our reality of it. Anyway, I hope that helps!

[KristenMort]

Thanks, that does sound like my daughter. If it's not one thing it's another, teeth, sick, etc. I think poking around on Mothering.com has given me a renewed feeling with nursing. I think your right, she must need it if she has such a hard time giving up. There is a reason she is waking so much and nursing so much. It's also nice to hear I'm not the only one and I'm not alone in this.

[SeaBean]

I am in the midst of doing the same with my 18-month-old. I have found that during those episodes of crying in the night, if I reassure her that we CAN have nursies in the morning (or "soon," or "later"), that seems to help. (In addition to saying nursies are asleep, etc etc)
As others have said, when she does wake and cry, it's usually only a few minutes, but it feels like forever. Hang in there. If you can make it through a couple nights consistently, it does get better.
Also, I like what Jay Gordon says about "paying" the baby with fun activities/outings during the day if she does "pay" you with extra sleep. I remind her that since she slept so beautifully last night, we all have the energy to play here at the park.

[Teenytoona]

IDK, I don't think some kids can nightwean. Be prepared to have to cancel nightweaning plans. On our every attempt, DD wouldn't cry for three minutes. She screamed and cried for hours, despite rocking, holding, singing, reassurances. We got less sleep on those nights. We gave up. Each time.

[Ashley_R]

Thanks for all the suggestions! We decided it would be mean to start on her birthday and then we just learned she has an ear infection, so I figure she needs to nurse more til the infection is gone. Guess we'll have to wait a bit to get started or maybe she'll do it on her own now that she's a big 2 year old