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WEEKLY RAMBLE/CHAT for JAN 10th-16th - Page 3

post #41 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by ithappened View Post


I feel like I am on a roller coaster.
{{{hugs}}} Momma.... it is SO hard, but you're doing the best you can. The sleep deprivation makes it all that much worse.
post #42 of 74
Oh.... I wanted to thank all the mommas for the wrap advice! After watching the youtube video a million times, she's successfully wrapped and sleeping on my chest at the moment, and I'm typing with BOTH hands! I even ate my dinner with both hands.

Now.... if I can get her to stop her 2-hour screaming marathon between 10pm to midnight, I'll be a happy Mommy.
post #43 of 74
Well, the hubby left for three weeks on Friday so it's me with the newborn and my 4 others. My mom and grandma were planning on coming up but have decided instead to delay that 2 weeks and rent a cabin nearby. It will be nice to 'get away', but I have to load all 5 and the 2 dogs up.

Anyway, if you want a real treat try being in a house with 5 kids and no adult interaction besides the gawkers at the grocery store for 7 days. Good times!
I was doing really well for the first 5 days, but I lost it yesterday when I couldn't even go to bed because the twins kept coming in and out of my room. I fall dead asleep at 7 o'clock when the boys do. The girls are still up reading. I have to get up at 4am to get any time to myself, which, of course, means breastfeeding and baby wearing while doing laundry, unloading dishes, etc.
Working out is difficult as well, and I really need the stress relief. I have to put the baby to sleep, get the girls on homeschool work and occupy the boys so I can do a video.

How did I do this alone with twins?

I 'll be better after today. It's a no-school day and my sitter is coming by so I can run or go to target. Arrrgh!
post #44 of 74
today is a bit better. I at least got a good 5 hours of sleep last night. and I forced myself to do a little yoga before bed last night so at least I got a little exercise,,

yesterday was really terrible because we spent most of the day in the government offices trying to get the EU birth certificate and trying to explain in german the difference between a city, state and county and how I was born in all 3 and they have different names but are the same place

I was really feeling defeated because I was hoping we could get DS EU passport yesterday so we could fly to Vienna to get DS US passport but we were told after a few hours of the birth certificate BS that the man who did passports wasn't in and we'd have to come back next week :cries

Then when we got home, I was exhausted from not sleeping and DS cried from 4 until 10pm .. and DH decided to ignore us/DS and play with his new iphone all evening

I really want to get to the US as soon as possible since my dad isn't doing well but its feeling impossible atm because DH isn't being much help and doing it all in another language takes me 5x longer then it would DHvwhos native ... Getting DS EU birth certificate took 2 weeks and we still haven't gotten his passport(s) or any of his US stuff yet

Quote:
Anyway, if you want a real treat try being in a house with 5 kids and no adult interaction besides the gawkers at the grocery store for 7 days. Good times!
I can't even handle 1, no idea how all you guys do it with more.
post #45 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by ithappened View Post



I can't even handle 1, no idea how all you guys do it with more.
Usually it isn't this bad, but I haven't had all 5 alone before and my 'test drive' has been 3 weeks of flying solo with no family or friends to help out. Plus, my hubby can't contact me for 3 weeks. Nowhere to vent!

I can't wait to get back to the normal Army bases with wives whose husbands actually work! It seems my husband is the only one who doesn't stay in his pjs until noon. Stupid non-deploying bases!
post #46 of 74
ItHappened: I just wanted to let you know that I had a tough time adjusting to being a mama, too. H. is 2 MONTHS now and honestly it's only been this last week or two where I didn't feel either faintly despairing or like a complete fraud. There has been, for me, a huge element of fake-it-til-you-make-it to this.

I also had a hard, hard time with the sleep deprivation (I'm adjusted now - he wakes up a couple times at night, but they're pretty regularly spaced, so I know what I'm in for), and, like you, I'm having this baby far from what I think of as my home. I had a lot of "Oh God, what have I done?!?" moments.

What helped:

*being honest with my husband about this stuff, who then in turn felt that he could be honest with me about his own doubts.
*talking to several older parents (whose children are grown, or almost-grown) and hearing every single one say that the early days were pretty rough.
*H. started making eye contact. And smiling.

It gets better. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but it DOES get better.

Milimama, like ItHappened, I just can't imagine having more than one. You're superhuman!

Quote:
Plus, my hubby can't contact me for 3 weeks.
!!! I don't know how you do it.

PS, thanks for those wrap videos- I hadn't seen them before.
post #47 of 74
thanks lalemma. I think the sleep thing is esp. hard because if my DH doesn't get at least 8-9 hours of sleep he literally does not function the next day (or if he does he does so barely).. so its been really rough to be up all night solo while he often sleeps soundly for hours on end.. but part of me knows I need him to sleep so I can get some 'off' time the next day its just hard to remember that in the moment.

I think once DS starts to smile and make more eye contact it will get better. Right now I just feel like he is constantly upset, angry or hates everything about being around us which only adds to me feeling like a crappy parent..

As soon as we get DS passport(s) we'll be booking a trip to see my family for a few weeks which will be a huge huge break/help for me/us. I really need it.
post #48 of 74
oh mamas, I am sorry everyone is having a rough week. This motherhood thing is no joke and let me just add to the chorus of being in awe of people who have more than 1. I am barely hanging on here with 1.

Let me be quick because I am SO far behind with my work and I have deadlines tomorrow and my DH is back at work, so it's just me and the baby until my MIL arrives next week and I really don't know how that's going to go... she flat out told me she is done with cooking and if we really need helping around the house she'll do it (with great reluctance). So it seems like all she wants to do is deal with the baby, but I hope she's open to doing things our way (like no CIO) or else she can go take a hike. Why volunteer to come at all?! We are even paying for half of her ticket.

Highlights of the week: I got a nasty stomach virus (out of no where) on Tuesday and spent the next 24 hours puking and shitting, with the worst headache of all time, stomach cramps and unbelievable nauseau which I tolerated just to be able to hold down water, just so I could breastfeed (which everytime I did, made me feel even worse). It really did not help that DD woke up every 1.5 hours and wanted to nurse(and that I felt so crappy and did not get any sleep). At least she was spared the virus, that would have totally sent me over the edge. The anxiety of being so sick, worrying about breastfeeding and dehydration, and if DS was going to get sick made me a weepy mess yesterday too. I am DETERMINED for her not to get a bottle if I can humanly help it (I have to get away to do things and for work and exercise, but if I am there, I must breastfeed).

After 24 hours I felt a little better, but still could hardly get out of bed, I was so wasted. So I lost a day that I really should have been working (I have work deadlines tomorrow, which I am racing to finish today). So what does DH do today? He goes to work (he's still on paternity leave, mind you and he spent yesterday working from home (read: glued to computer). At least he does all the diaper changes.

DD and I have good nights (larger blocks of sleep like 3 hours and no tummy pain/fussiness) and bad nights. I just try to take it one day at a time. I honestly don't know how I am going to start working. I don't have to go anywhere more than about 8 hours a week, but still, I have to work like 30 hours a week and it's hard to do that and be alone with the baby (it's clear that DH's idea of working from home and "helping" isn't going to be much help). And our nanny (who was to come 15 hours a week) bailed on us and I have 3 weeks to find another one... ARGH. DH gave her a test bottle the other day and I cried when I saw it, snatched her away and breastfed her. I guess I must be attached.

In other news, DD started smiling this week and my heart palpitates with joy.
post #49 of 74
HAHA that was not exactly quick.
post #50 of 74
Quote:
In other news, DD started smiling this week and my heart palpitates with joy.
I can't wait for this to happen I am still scared it won't..
post #51 of 74
When my first was born we lived in an artist community/ warehouse in Oakland. we had a lot of close friends, and a very sounds proof space... but imagine sharing a kitchen with 20 other people... people having techno parties in the gallery... then you are so stressed because you think your baby's head is going to fall off, etc.

I swear, after that, anything is easy!

It does get easier, but I think it is all of the 'unknowns' that make being a first-time parent difficult. And then the baby feeds off of your stress; you know, they're like little animals in their detection of tension, stress. I had a lot of PP anxiety, which then stressed my little guy out.

Well, now he is 8 and a great kid. So just think about how quickly this year will go by.

Ithappened, I hope you can get all of your paperwork sorted out, I hate that stuff. I hope you dad is okay, too! That must make it all the more stressful.

And Tattooed Hand, I wish I lived near you! I totally love taking care of others' babies with like-minded parenting. I hope you find someone good soon!

Millimama, I'm getting the evil looks in the store, too. I decided that I'm only going to the hippie stores from now on, no more fred meyer for me. The rudest woman *sneered* at me the other day at this store! At least everyone is different at the hippie stores. Thank God for hippies.
post #52 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand View Post
In other news, DD started smiling this week and my heart palpitates with joy.
I'm so happy for you!! Can't wait until my little one does this.
post #53 of 74
to all who are struggling this week! It sounds like we're all in the same boat, in some form! I totally echo the advice that was given; getting involved with moms' groups was my salvation after my first- he was extremely fussy, didn't nurse well, barely slept, didn't really smile. Just not a fun time, in fact I was quite depressed that first year, (and still am often as he has not changed much in 7 years!) Going to LLL, playgroups, and yes, even MDC really helped me have some sanity. I went to every mom's group I found out about, just to give us someplace to go and someone to be with so I wouldn't lose my mind!

I've been trying to join in this thread for a while but I never have 2 hands to type! currently pecking this out with my left hand! this baby is never, ever put down! she is very calm and pleasant IF she is held 24/7! my arms and shoulders are absolutely killing me! And my shoulder socket feels seriously damaged from the sleep position with her on my arm!

I can't even imagine her sleeping in her own space! sometimes for the first sleep session (~11/12-2/3am) she'll sleep beside me, but otherwise it is in my arms all night! if we put her down during the day, she wakes up immediately and cries!

I have been using the mei tai to carry her in, but I can't nurse in it (her head is way higher than my boobs!) the sling works well for nursing in, but it isn't hands free, and kills my shoulder after a while! I'm getting a moby this weekend, I'm really hoping that'll be the solution!!

She has a fussy time every evening, normally coinciding with when i'm starving and need dinner and the other kids are overtired and crazy! and then while i'm putting my DS to bed so it's really distracting and i don't get quality time with him, and then while i attempt to finally relax at night and watch tv and fold laundry she cries the whole time so I have to stand up and rock her! definitely no down time here!

I was shocked to see mention of people DTD! I am so not there yet! although by this time after the other babies we were- but this time, i only stopped bleeding in the past couple days (almost 5 weeks), and she will NEVER be put down without screaming so i don't know how we'll ever do it anytime soon! plus my huge leaking boobs aren't an appealing prospect (to me!)
post #54 of 74
ps. I'm covered in spitup and milk always, my hair is a mess because I never have a hand to brush it (much less blow dry!), I haven't eaten anything not frozen and microwaved in weeks, my glasses are filthy because I don't have 2 hands to clean them, and my pants are falling down because I don't fit into my regular ones but maternity ones are too big. Fun times.

Also, thanks for all your words re: my 4 yo. They made me smile, and reduced the tension a bit! It's nice to know I'm not alone He is still pretty much unbearable, screaming and wild and destroying the house no matter how much exercise, outdoor time, or 1:1 attention I give him. I don't know if it's the age, or the baby, or both, but I'm going out of my mind.
post #55 of 74
I am facing the same clothes dilemma too and I don't know what to do when I start teaching again. Think I can teach a university class in sweats?

Also, about DTD, I may feel brave enough to try the end of next week (when I'll be 6 wks PP) but I am SO dry down there that DH better get real creative in the foreplay department if he wants some action. Luckily, he's been too tired these last weeks (even though he's getting more sleep than me) to muster up much of a sex drive. Personally, I am only vaguely interested, which is weird because I was SO horny during pregnancy!
post #56 of 74
Name: Orin

Baby's age: 6 weeks this Saturday

Milestones/Updates: Started smiling last Friday, the best thing in the whole world. Plus when I weighed him at my mamas group last week he was 8lbs15oz, today he was 9lbs7oz. He went up 8oz in a week! I finally got him in his cloth diapers and I think he likes them. His NB clothes now fit him perfectly LOL (at almost 6 weeks) so I imagine he will grow out of them soon.

Thoughts: We went to the IL's house over the weekend and I have never been so pissed off. They kept grabbing my baby from me the whole time and they took a bunch of 'family' photos with MY baby and not one of them included me. I still do not have any pictures of my own son and me except for 2 on my facebook that were taken when I looked like sh!t and are blurry anyway. I was insulted on so many levels on Saturday by DH's family. Apparently everyone should hold my baby as much as possible so as to "not let him become too attached to his mother". Also I said something about the bank account thing to MIL and she just looked at me like I was a total bitch and then started talking to someone else. I was left out the entire time we were there. I never want to go back but DH doesn't understand how I really feel. Here I am just banging my head against the wall over and over. I realize you all must be getting sick of hearing about my one main issue in life but it's killing me and I have nobody to talk to about it really.

Questions: How long did it take you guys to 'get' your baby's cries? Orin starts crying and I check if he's hungry then I check for burps (that's a big one with him) and then I check his diaper. Sometimes he's good on all 3 and I just don't know what else to do. I check everything. His position, his clothes to check for irregularities and anything that could be bothering him. Sometimes it seems all he wants is for me to hold him and walk around, which I am happy to oblige. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Overall he is a really easygoing baby, mostly quiet and lets me sleep at night (finds the boob himself). I keep waiting for the next stage when he gets 'harder' lol

Also, he is developing a rash. Tiny little red bumps all over his body. Looks like acne. Am I doing something wrong? I bathe him about 2 times a week and with just usually water, sometimes I use a little all natural unscented soap. What could be causing it?
post #57 of 74
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Awaken View Post
this baby is never, ever put down! she is very calm and pleasant IF she is held 24/7! my arms and shoulders are absolutely killing me! And my shoulder socket feels seriously damaged from the sleep position with her on my arm!

I can't even imagine her sleeping in her own space! sometimes for the first sleep session (~11/12-2/3am) she'll sleep beside me, but otherwise it is in my arms all night! if we put her down during the day, she wakes up immediately and cries!

I have been using the mei tai to carry her in, but I can't nurse in it (her head is way higher than my boobs!) the sling works well for nursing in, but it isn't hands free, and kills my shoulder after a while! I'm getting a moby this weekend, I'm really hoping that'll be the solution!!

She has a fussy time every evening, normally coinciding with when i'm starving and need dinner and the other kids are overtired and crazy! and then while i'm putting my DS to bed so it's really distracting and i don't get quality time with him, and then while i attempt to finally relax at night and watch tv and fold laundry she cries the whole time so I have to stand up and rock her! definitely no down time here!
She sounds like Everett's twin. Yea, that's how life is over here as well. Everett also has a fussy time in the morning from about 5:30am -10am. On Tuesday the sleep deprivation and the 4 year old's behavior got the best of me. By Wednesday I was the one throwing tantrums. Not a good birthday at all.
post #58 of 74
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilvanaRose View Post
Questions: How long did it take you guys to 'get' your baby's cries? Orin starts crying and I check if he's hungry then I check for burps (that's a big one with him) and then I check his diaper. Sometimes he's good on all 3 and I just don't know what else to do. I check everything. His position, his clothes to check for irregularities and anything that could be bothering him. Sometimes it seems all he wants is for me to hold him and walk around, which I am happy to oblige. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Overall he is a really easygoing baby, mostly quiet and lets me sleep at night (finds the boob himself). I keep waiting for the next stage when he gets 'harder' lol

Also, he is developing a rash. Tiny little red bumps all over his body. Looks like acne. Am I doing something wrong? I bathe him about 2 times a week and with just usually water, sometimes I use a little all natural unscented soap. What could be causing it?
I don't totally understand all of Everett's cries either. I just go through the motions of bfing, checking diaper, burping, rocking, etc.... The only signals I understand for sure are when he's really hungry (not just wanting to suck) and when he needs to go potty in the middle of nursing. Other than that, I'm just guessing at what he needs. Sometimes I have NO idea.

Everett started getting red bumps all over his face about 3 weeks ago. The ped agreed with me that it looked like eczema. That is why I started the elimination diet (family history of allergies and DD's started showing the same way). I also use olive oil in his bath and slather on cream after without really drying him off to help retain the moisture.
post #59 of 74
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand View Post
DH gave her a test bottle the other day and I cried when I saw it, snatched her away and breastfed her. I guess I must be attached.

In other news, DD started smiling this week and my heart palpitates with joy.
Yay on the smiling! I hope you feel 100% soon.

That is how I feel about giving Everett a bottle. When DS1 was a baby and had trouble latching, I made the commitment to exclusively pump for him. I cried every single time I had to give him a bottle. I hated it when anyone else fed him. I can't even look a bottle now without being reminded of those days.
post #60 of 74
SilvanaRose- I still don't get any of DS cries, I just go through the cycle of my guesses (does he want a boob, a clean diaper, a close hold, the sling, sleep?). Also like evinmom I do olive oil in the bath or a natural (no sugar) yogurt which seems to help a lot with his red dots..

Quote:
I'm covered in spitup and milk always, my hair is a mess because I never have a hand to brush it (much less blow dry!), I haven't eaten anything not frozen and microwaved in weeks, my glasses are filthy because I don't have 2 hands to clean them, and my pants are falling down because I don't fit into my regular ones but maternity ones are too big. Fun times.
I wear about 95% black and the spit up as just become part of 'my look', I also started to wear my hair up so I can go a few days between washes and I found the freezer meals we made are saving my life (but also running out!) I have no idea what we'll do when we're out of freezer (homemade) food. Getting pizza delivered will get old fast.


We tried to get DS (EU) passport today, went downtown and the office was closed early so we have to go back Monday.. ARGH! but I have to say, baby passport photos crack me up.

Any of you have any fun plans for the weekend? I was trying to get DH to take DS and I 'out' tonight but he sort of gave me a look and said he wasn't interested.. I am considering taking DS to a few galleries and the local museum Sunday.. is this a really bad idea?
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