Question

[sophi4ka]

My DD is 2yo now and I have to admit that I don't enjoy spending time with her. She has never been to a daycare and spends all her time with me. She is my only child so far.

I get quickly tired of reading the same stupid toddler stories over and over. I get bored playing the repetitive simple games that she wants to play. The "art" activities are so simple and messy that there is no fun in them either. I love her very much and she is my dearest, but honestly I enjoy it much more doing something without her than with her. There are good sides to spending time with her either, but more often than not it is just dreading, boring and often annoying (the screaming, the whining, the demanding, etc).

I love the idea of homeschooling a lot and frankly after reading so much on the subject it is even hard for me to imagine sending my daughter to school. I love learning and would love to learn together with my daughter. But lately, especially when I look at the clock waiting for her to go to sleep or for my husband to come and take her from me, I am having lots of doubt if I am even capable of homeschooling. I mean, I suppose to enjoy spending time with my child, right?

So I guess my question is, does my lack of enjoyment in spending time with a toddler is of any predicament to my ability to homeschool later on?

Any thoughts?

Thank you!
Sophie

[Geerbabe]

You're at a difficult age and stage. My daughter would want to play the same game the same way over and over and over again, and it would drive me nuts. She is now in grade 2 and we have been home schooling for the last three years. Every year there are more and more shared interests that we can work on together and the level of our conversations is jumping by leaps and bounds. There is just no comparison, so don't write off home schooling at this point. Wait until you get closer to kindergarten age and you will be able to make a more informed decision.

[RiverSky]

First of all, she will grow, this is just a stage. Next, do you just stay home with her all the time? Or are you in a moms club? I found that once I joined a moms club with regular activities, and I participated constantly, for every event, it was so helpful for my psyche. Not only did I get to talk to other adults way more frequently than before, but my children were occupied playing with other children, enjoying various field trips, checking out different museums, getting out tons of energy at playgrounds with plenty of friends (which was fantastic when it came to nap time and even bedtime, they always slept so much better after a nice, big long moms club event).

As far as homeschooling goes, by the time you will be "homeschooling", she will be 5 or 6 and it will be an entirely different ball game. She will be much more independent. Even if you have no more children, it will be much easier to invite friends over and she will play without your attention for hours.

If I were you, I'd investigate every homeschool support group in my area, and I'd join. Some of them (like ours) have playgroups for the youngest of the children, and both you and your child will likely make friends and be able to enjoy outings with them.

[lach]

I hear you. I found the only preschool in the area that takes 2 year olds and my daughter goes there 4 days a week. It's a Montessori program, so I'm planning on keeping her there through kindergarten (if you don't know much about Montessori, it's meant to be a 3 year program from age 3 to 5. She's in their toddler program now).

I think some people just prefer different ages. I always hear people say "OMG I love babies!" and then they joke about how the problems start when the kid can walk. Some people are baby people, some people are toddler people, some people are big-kid people. I'm a big-kid person. I love kids. I've spent most of my teenage and adult life working with them (with a miserable foray into the corporate world in there), and I really enjoy spending time with them and teaching them things. Ages 7-15 is about the magic age for me, when they become the most interesting things in the world.

And don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything. They are absolutely adorable, and they say and do the most amazing things daily. I love watching them play, and discover things. I love taking them places and watching their faces light up when they see something cool. I love doing activities and projects with them. They are by no means unloved or neglected just because this isn't a stage I love!

It's just a really, really hard stage. They have so much energy, they're trying to figure out the world and their place in it, they're so curious, they don't understand the sorts of social cues that an adult or an older kid would recognize as meaning "okay, Mommy's about to snap, I think I'm going to go over here for a while." I think that it's very, very normal for people to have short patience at this age, and I think that's why toddler television is sooooo popular. That's part of our problem: we don't watch television. So it's hard to fill up all day every day.

So I don't think that you're strange, or necessarily headed towards homeschool disaster. I would suggest looking into a preschool to get you somewhat off the hook. My daughter LOVES it, and it's been so good for her. And that separation has been really good for me and my mothering too: I'm definitely a better mother when we are hanging out together for it.

[elizawill]

if it makes you feel any better, i didn't like spending time with my daughter when she was 2 either. it was exhausting and demanding (i was pregnant & had my ds when gracie was 2 1/2). it sounds awful, but 2 was just a very difficult age with my daughter. that's how i found MDC actually, searching for help when i was going through all of that. believe me - it DOES get much better. my little girl is 8 now, and i absolutely adore her. she is lovely, and i feel incredibly blessed to have such a sweet little girl. toddlerhood can just be a tough phase...but remember, it is just a phase. it's one small part of life & you only get to be in this stage with your dd once. try to enjoy it. being with your 2 year old now doesn't predict your ability to homeschool down the road. hugs!!

[Ruthla]

There is a WORLD of difference between spending all day with a 2yo and spending all day with a "school aged child." They become less interested in repetition, and become capable of playing games with at least some strategy. Given the choice between playing Candyland with a 3yo or Checkers with a 6yo, the checkers is going to be a lot more fun!

It's perfectly normal for you kids to drive you crazy sometimes, and to enjoy time away from them. 2 year olds are especially exhausting, and being pg while caring for a toddler makes that exhaustion even more intense. Of course you need a break at the end of hte day! In most traditional societies, groups of women spent the day working, with groups of children underfoot. The modern-day setup of one mother alone with just her own children, and no other adults around, is very isolating and not particularly "natural." By the time she's of school age, you'll probably be involved in social and/or learning activities with other homeschooling families.

[sophi4ka]

Thank you so much ladies!!! Your words are so encouraging! I am glad to hear that I am not a failure the way I think of myself sometimes lately. Being pregnant definetely makes everything more difficult.
I was just feeling so fake lately thinking that, yeh right what am I thinking staying home with my children and not "sending them away to school" like everyone else, if I am fantasizing about sending DD to a daycare. I really hope that the older she gets the easier and more interesting our interaction will be.

Sophie

[briansmama]

I could have written your post when my first ds was 2! I knew I wanted to homeschool, and my ds had never been away from me. BUT- he was such a handful at that age! I was still bfeeding too, and exhausted all the time.

Now he's 6 and I love spending my days with him. His little bro is almost 3 and he's a totally different kid. I don't feel exhausted like I did back then and my older ds plays a lot with my little one, so they entertain each other.

Don't feel bad because you're going through a hard phase. It really does pass. 4 was a great age for my first ds and after that it kept getting better.

I agree with the pp that mentioned doing something for yourself to get a break. I regret not doing that with my first and I made it a priority with my 2nd. We belong to a great gym so I workout several days per week which gives me a break from the kids and also time to burn off stress. At 2, my first ds would not go for that, but maybe you check out a local YMCA or another gym with quality kid's care so you canget a break when your little one is ready to play for an hour without you?

HTH!

[LuxPerpetua]

2 was a difficult age. I felt the same way. My dd is 4 now and is sooooo much fun! We really have a blast together. I would just wait until it gets closer to "school" time to make your decision then. A 2 year old and a 6 year old are totally different cups of tea.