What are my rights?

[AKA_PI]

My son's father and I aren't in a relationship and never have been in the 3 years we've known each other. This weekend I went out on a date with someone and he found out. He then proceeded to stalk my Twittter account and tap into my computer and look through all my information. He knew that I was out with the guy and where we were. He also made threats of fighting him or doing harm to him. There were even mentions of shooting his family if they or anyone else got in the way of trying to keep him from our son.

He was upset that not only had I met someone else (me and the guy met online) but that my son stayed with my parents for the weekend so I could go out on my date. I didn't ask him because he has class on Saturdays and that would interfer. It just seemed ideal to give us both a break for the weekend and go from there. He called me home (to my house which he does not live in but has a key too) at 4am on Friday night to question me about my whereabouts and show me all the information he pulled me. He threatened me with trying to get full custody of our son. Of course I kept every text and message he has sent me through all of this as proof. No judge in their right mind would grant any custody to someone crazy like this.

Yesterday he sent me a msg apologizing about blowing up and that he never meant to frighten me but i'm not buying it. You don't make threats if you didn't really have some intent of carrying them out. I fear for my safety and that of my child. Legally, what rights do I have to protect us? I don't even want my child spending the night with him or visiting him without supervision.

I never thought in a million years I would go through some thing like this. Any advice is appreciated.

[sunfish21]

Only in a slightly similar sitution, but I borrowed the money to get a lawyer to help me figure out what my rights are AND to help me use the documentation that I have (print out those texts and emails!). I wasn't sure what me holding a threatening email could do--but I assumed that the lawyer will. In the meantime, I would change your locks so that he can't enter; change passwords on all of your compuer/internet sites and minimize contact. I agree that blow ups like that, even if the guy apologizes afterwards, need to be taken seriously.

[redorchid]

You could file for an order for protection covering both you and your son. They have been granted for much less, in Minnesota, anyway. After that you could address custody and visitation in court.

[Theia]

Originally Posted by sunfish21

Only in a slightly similar sitution, but I borrowed the money to get a lawyer to help me figure out what my rights are AND to help me use the documentation that I have (print out those texts and emails!). I wasn't sure what me holding a threatening email could do--but I assumed that the lawyer will. In the meantime, I would change your locks so that he can't enter; change passwords on all of your compuer/internet sites and minimize contact. I agree that blow ups like that, even if the guy apologizes afterwards, need to be taken seriously.

Originally Posted by redorchid

You could file for an order for protection covering both you and your son. They have been granted for much less, in Minnesota, anyway. After that you could address custody and visitation in court.

I'd do both of those things. You can file the OOP on your own if money is an issue. But you are right to be very concerned about his threats. Take them seriously and get the OOP. See if you qualify for legal aid, and you may also be eligible for reduced filing fees at the courthouse based upon proof of your income. You could call your local domestic violence shelter too. Many of them have a legal advocate who can help you fill out the forms, but they can't give legal advice. I worked with one and found her very helpful.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Get an order of protection. Go to the courthouse and do it ASAP. By yourself if you have to - you can get a lawyer after filing pro-se.

And, print out ALL communications between you and him in DUPLICATE. Keep each copy somewhere different and secure. This way if he finds one set, you have another. Try to keep them electronically also.

And last but not least, change EACH AND EVERY password you have. To something hard to guess. Password your computer so he can't get into it.

Good luck.

[AKA_PI]

Thanks all for the advice.