DD has always been a challenging child, but recently we are all just awful with each other. Long story short--she is extremely opinionated and independent and very prone to contradict, disagree, or try to argue or negotiate about absolutely everything. She used to tantrum when thwarted, but now she tends to burst into dramatic tears. She is also very rude to us (not so much the words as the tone of voice).
The real problem is that we are fed up, and everyone is on edge, quick to fight, and quick to yell. I hear myself being very short-fused and intolerant with her, and although I have really curbed my yelling, I still speak curtly to her too often. DH is in a similar place. We both feel overcontrolled by her and resent her for it.
She frequently says that I am "always mad at her" and "mad at her for no reason." Even if I am speaking in a very calm voice, she can tell I am annoyed and reacts accordingly.
It is hard to be gentle and relaxed with her because if you give her an inch, she will take a mile. I have considerd just trying to be more loose and free, but past experience shows that if we do this, we will be hearing abot it forever and a day. She has the memory of an elephant and the persistence of a mule. Also, she seems insatiable for control...it's like she can never have enough.
I have tried instituting more special time, more play time...unfortunately, we are in such a negative place that I feel overcontrolled and unengaged with her play and am very easily irritated.
Something needs to change, and I feel at my wits' end. I want to just turn things topsy-turvy somehow, or start fresh, or...something. I need fresh ideas.
She gets plenty of sleep. She has many friends. She is very, very bright, and certainly underchallenged at school, but happy there. FWIW she is well-behaved at school for the most part, and well liked.
Another FWIW: she has a younger brother who is almost 2. He is a very easygoing kid for the most part, but has been a little harder lately (teething intensely). They seem to adore each other and rarely fight--just occasional toy squabbles. He did get a LOT of attention over the holidays (relatives who had not met him) and is generally the kind of kid who attracts fawning.
The real problem is that we are fed up, and everyone is on edge, quick to fight, and quick to yell. I hear myself being very short-fused and intolerant with her, and although I have really curbed my yelling, I still speak curtly to her too often. DH is in a similar place. We both feel overcontrolled by her and resent her for it.
She frequently says that I am "always mad at her" and "mad at her for no reason." Even if I am speaking in a very calm voice, she can tell I am annoyed and reacts accordingly.It is hard to be gentle and relaxed with her because if you give her an inch, she will take a mile. I have considerd just trying to be more loose and free, but past experience shows that if we do this, we will be hearing abot it forever and a day. She has the memory of an elephant and the persistence of a mule. Also, she seems insatiable for control...it's like she can never have enough.
I have tried instituting more special time, more play time...unfortunately, we are in such a negative place that I feel overcontrolled and unengaged with her play and am very easily irritated.
Something needs to change, and I feel at my wits' end. I want to just turn things topsy-turvy somehow, or start fresh, or...something. I need fresh ideas.
She gets plenty of sleep. She has many friends. She is very, very bright, and certainly underchallenged at school, but happy there. FWIW she is well-behaved at school for the most part, and well liked.
Another FWIW: she has a younger brother who is almost 2. He is a very easygoing kid for the most part, but has been a little harder lately (teething intensely). They seem to adore each other and rarely fight--just occasional toy squabbles. He did get a LOT of attention over the holidays (relatives who had not met him) and is generally the kind of kid who attracts fawning.
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