Question on Giftedness

[~Snoopy~]

Hi, I'm new here but have lurked quite awhile before I ever joined. I was referred to this board about a year ago through another board. I had asked on that board about my daughter (who is now 2.5). She is extremely gifted verbally. Far ahead of her peers. At one year old, she was talking in sentences. At 2.5 she continually amazes us with all she knows and we can have an adult conversation with her.

My question is-will this giftedness continue in her life? Also, how can I best parent her as I want to foster that, but not demand it in her life?

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by ~Snoopy~

My question is-will this giftedness continue in her life? Also, how can I best parent her as I want to foster that, but not demand it in her life?

Most likely it will continue.
Just follow her lead, and you will parent her just the way she needs! Play, read, explore, talk and have fun. It's all you need.

[no5no5]

Welcome.

I think that a happy, healthy child will develop his or her strengths. So I wouldn't worry about trying to foster giftedness in a two year old. Just relax and have fun.

[~Snoopy~]

Thank you everyone! I just don't want to ever push her to do more than she is ready for. Sometimes I think I expect too much from her because she acts like a 4 year old rather than a 2 year old. Thanks!

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by ~Snoopy~

Thank you everyone! I just don't want to ever push her to do more than she is ready for. Sometimes I think I expect too much from her because she acts like a 4 year old rather than a 2 year old. Thanks!

Yeah, that is the toughest part! I remember when dd was little, she would occasionally behave in a way that would make me think - Grrrr....you're acting like such a 2 year old! Then it would hit me, oh yeah, you are two. LOL

She got in trouble recently. (she's 11) A good friend of mine told me, isn't it great she is acting typical for her age instead of just like a small 34 year old? It was a good wake up for me. She's so mature so often, I have to remind myself she is still a little girl/young woman.

[philomom]

I've seen some kids who start very brilliant and level off. My kids have ebbed and flowed a bit with their obvious giftedness. Just be gentle, provide a rich environment with books and toys and outings.... and be there for them.

[dessismama]

Your little one will continue to excel in all language-based areas. And probably be pretty amazing at other things. You are describing me to a T here... super early talker, loved to converse with adults at 3, etc. Now I teach college math..he, he.

[SoulCakes]

Throughout her childhood years, yes, she'll definitely remain gifted (although that doesn't mean that she's automatically exempt from so-called "learning disabilities" like dyslexia - it's not infrequent to be twice exceptional and to be so does not in any way mean that a child is "less gifted" because of it).

Giftedness tends to inspire higher achievement (maybe, but not always) throughout one's life, which may lead to a similar gap between her peers in adulthood that you can see now. For others (most?), the cognitive gap in ability exists solely throughout childhood - it gives them a leg-up on their peers, especially during the earliest years, but by the time they reach college age everyone has more or less leveled out and the gap is less pronounced. This is probably because intelligence, as measured by our tests, isn't for a particular talent per se but an ability to learn and recognize patterns very quickly. *That* is the skill that she'll carry forever on throughout her life. Linguistic ability, however, is the *what* that one learns, so while she's out of the gate faster than her peers, the others eventually catch on and learn what there is to know, leading to higher intelligence being less noticeable in an adult (within reason) than in young children.

Anyway, yes, she'll always be bright. Barring unspeakable events, intelligence doesn't go away.

[no5no5]

Originally Posted by SoulCakes

Giftedness tends to inspire higher achievement (maybe, but not always) throughout one's life, which may lead to a similar gap between her peers in adulthood that you can see now. For others (most?), the cognitive gap in ability exists solely throughout childhood - it gives them a leg-up on their peers, especially during the earliest years, but by the time they reach college age everyone has more or less leveled out and the gap is less pronounced. This is probably because intelligence, as measured by our tests, isn't for a particular talent per se but an ability to learn and recognize patterns very quickly. *That* is the skill that she'll carry forever on throughout her life. Linguistic ability, however, is the *what* that one learns, so while she's out of the gate faster than her peers, the others eventually catch on and learn what there is to know, leading to higher intelligence being less noticeable in an adult (within reason) than in young children.

I'm not sure that I agree with this. I think that perhaps gifted adults gravitate towards careers and areas where giftedness is more the norm. Of all the friends I've made as an adult, I can't think of one who isn't gifted, whereas most of the friends I made as a child are not gifted. So I don't think it's a matter of giftedness being less obvious in adults, but rather that we find each other more easily, and we feel less different as a result.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by no5no5

I'm not sure that I agree with this. I think that perhaps gifted adults gravitate towards careers and areas where giftedness is more the norm. Of all the friends I've made as an adult, I can't think of one who isn't gifted, whereas most of the friends I made as a child are not gifted. So I don't think it's a matter of giftedness being less obvious in adults, but rather that we find each other more easily, and we feel less different as a result.

I work in a field that attracts many gifted adults to the point that I know of a handful of "just bright" individuals who get made fun of because they aren't "smart" enough.

Honestly, I see a bigger divide now that I'm older than when I was younger and I can't think of a single friend of mine who I see often who isn't gifted. It's not really intentional but I just don't meet anybody else in my day-to-day life. I have also found that my career choice comes off as intimidating, which might also scare off people, I don't know...

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by physmom

Honestly, I see a bigger divide now that I'm older than when I was younger and I can't think of a single friend of mine who I see often who isn't gifted. It's not really intentional but I just don't meet anybody else in my day-to-day life. I have also found that my career choice comes off as intimidating, which might also scare off people, I don't know...

I regularly encounter adults who I wouldn't classify as "gifted", but nearly everyone I count as a friend certainly is. Adults have a much easier time selecting the people with whom they wish to interact than do children, regardless of career choice (or lack thereof). If you spend all your free time at the library, you're going to meet different people than you will if you spend your free time in bars, you know?

In any case: It might help you to look at some of the "characteristics of gifted toddlers/children" lists floating around out there. That will give you some insight into the "Is she gifted or just loquacious?" question.

[SoulCakes]

Originally Posted by no5no5

I'm not sure that I agree with this. I think that perhaps gifted adults gravitate towards careers and areas where giftedness is more the norm. Of all the friends I've made as an adult, I can't think of one who isn't gifted, whereas most of the friends I made as a child are not gifted. So I don't think it's a matter of giftedness being less obvious in adults, but rather that we find each other more easily, and we feel less different as a result.

That's a good point, and highlights a different usage of the word "peer" than I had intended. In certain fields, you're going to find a host of like-minded and like-intelligenced people. But in the general population, it will be harder to pick the one gifted adult in line at Starbucks. The young, highly gifted child, however, is usually easy to recognize, through her advanced language skills, for instance.

This is all within reason, of course. The greater the gap in intelligence (or education - not the same thing but sometimes having more impact on one's vocabulary, speaking skills, and cognitive processes, all of which are stronger indicators of intelligence than sheer intelligence itself), the more obvious the difference.

[no5no5]

Originally Posted by SoulCakes

That's a good point, and highlights a different usage of the word "peer" than I had intended. In certain fields, you're going to find a host of like-minded and like-intelligenced people. But in the general population, it will be harder to pick the one gifted adult in line at Starbucks. The young, highly gifted child, however, is usually easy to recognize, through her advanced language skills, for instance.

This is all within reason, of course. The greater the gap in intelligence (or education - not the same thing but sometimes having more impact on one's vocabulary, speaking skills, and cognitive processes, all of which are stronger indicators of intelligence than sheer intelligence itself), the more obvious the difference.

Just to make my opinion clear, I think that it is just as easy to spot a gifted adult after a 5-minute conversation. In fact, I think that adults are less apt to be underidentified due to behavioral problems, shyness, the effects of learning disabilities, et cetera. Certainly it's not possible to spot a giftie based on appearance, but that's true for kids as well as adults.

[Romana]

Most likely it will continue. My husband was just like that (full sentences at age 1, etc.) and he tested in elementary school with a verbal IQ over 200. However, he's not gifted in math - that side of the IQ was below average.

What completely ruined school for him was removing him from the accelerated reading/English classes in order to put him in remedial math. He was never going to be good at math, and it just meant he was always bored and frustrated.

Just something to consider as your little one grows up. His parents didn't know what to do and did not advocate for the right things for him. He's very intelligent but did very poorly in school due to a combination of never being challenged in what he excelled at and being pushed to become competent at something that he would never be able to do.

[~Snoopy~]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It has been super helpful to read.

Here is another question I have. Does giftedness continue on in your other children? My daughter who is definitely gifted verbally is 2.5, but I have another daughter who is 7 months in whom I see no verbal gifting. Perhaps I am just comparing the two too much? Anyone have any thoughts on that?

[Bird Girl]

My guess would be that 7 months old is just too young to asses a baby for signs of giftedness. I know that some of the posters here on this site had extraordinarily young talkers, but my most verbal child did not begin to speak at all until she was closer to 10 months old, and was only clearly verbally gifted at around 15 months old. My other child, who at age four is obviously advanced in a spatial and mathematical sphere, was a late talker who had practically no words at all until 18 months of age.

Some gifted children are very well organized, even as infants, but other gifties take longer to get going. A non-speaking 7 month old would be very much the norm--it would be very, very early to reach verbal milestones at this age. Also, even two gifted children have different paths of development, so enjoy, but try not to compare too much.

[HeatherJ]

Originally Posted by ~Snoopy~

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It has been super helpful to read.

Here is another question I have. Does giftedness continue on in your other children? My daughter who is definitely gifted verbally is 2.5, but I have another daughter who is 7 months in whom I see no verbal gifting. Perhaps I am just comparing the two too much? Anyone have any thoughts on that?

Your 7 month old probably won't have the musculature (physical development) to be very verbal yet even if they wanted to be. My "engaging the real estate agent in complete appropriate sentences conversation at 13 months" DD was communicating at that age in the form of copying and performing-so-I-could-copy sequences of eye blinks (6 months) and hand taps (a few weeks later).

There is a pretty high correlation in IQ between siblings, but they are individuals who may "choose" different things to "specialise" in when they are older, to avoid being in each other's shadow.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by ~Snoopy~

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It has been super helpful to read.

Here is another question I have. Does giftedness continue on in your other children? My daughter who is definitely gifted verbally is 2.5, but I have another daughter who is 7 months in whom I see no verbal gifting. Perhaps I am just comparing the two too much? Anyone have any thoughts on that?

I'm pretty sure that all of my children are gifted, though only one has been tested. My oldest was talking at seven months, but my nearly-four-year-old hardly spoke at all until she was closer to three. Today she's my earliest reader and insanely driven academically-- she's very obviously gifted, likely profoundly so. At seven months, Bella wasn't crawling, was barely babbling (if at all), and showed no signs whatsoever of being gifted. She was barely average at that age.

[HeatherB]

Originally Posted by ~Snoopy~

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It has been super helpful to read.

Here is another question I have. Does giftedness continue on in your other children? My daughter who is definitely gifted verbally is 2.5, but I have another daughter who is 7 months in whom I see no verbal gifting. Perhaps I am just comparing the two too much? Anyone have any thoughts on that?

While siblings do tend to all be gifted to a similar degree, that doesn't mean it'll all be in the same area. My three boys are all clearly gifted, and all clearly have a somewhat different mix of aptitudes. My eldest had a mild speech delay and didn't speak much until nearly 3. My youngest has been my most advanced verbally (though not shockingly above normal), speaking in his complex sentences at a time when his brother had less than 30 words in his vocabulary.

But, all three showed similar signs of being very alert as a baby, etc., and continue to learn and assimilate information very quickly. They're just each different little people. So your 7mo may well be gifted, but it's entirely possible that her strengths are not the same as her sister's.

[~Snoopy~]

Thanks again everyone! I think maybe I'm just trying to compare too much. When my older daughter was 7 months, she was saying quite a lot already so that is why I was wondering. I'll just wait and see what happens and just enjoy both of them now!