My 4 year old DD and night issues

[Masel]

For the last few weeks DD has been waking up at night. Sometimes she's screaming and sometimes she has peed in her bed (or both). She had been reliably using the potty during the day for well over a year and at night since last spring. I don't care about washing sheets or even that she chose to wear diapers again. Something changed in her poor little head and I just want her to sleep well and be comfortable.

I had a baby last September. I hear that regression is common for older siblings. It also could be all the wacky schedule changes during the holidays. One could say that she needs more time with me but over the last two weeks between her preschool holiday break and some snow days we've spent more time together than ever.

I don't know what to do. DH is worried that something is physically wrong and that maybe I should call the doctor. When she first wakes up screaming there is this crazed look in her eye. When she starts to calm down she plays up the drama a little but at first she really seems out of it.

Is this typical new big sister stuff? Should we just wait it out? It seems to help if one of us sleeps next to her for a while but if the baby wakes up my DH has to come get me and if he sleeps there it kills his back. She's in a twin bed in her own room. There just isn't room in our bed for her too. Baby is in a cosleeper and I still feel squished as it is.

[maryeb]

Hmm, that sounds familiar. My ds4 will sometimes wake up realllly mad if he has to potty. Many nights he can just do it himself, but we have recently moved and he is scared to use the bathroom without someone right now. So one of us usually takes him. I think the anger about waking has subsided for the most part but there were quite a few months where he would wake up in the night angry and the only thing that helped was physically escorting him to the bathroom. He would have a strange look in his eye, I attributed it to not being fully awake and in this world.

And we are going through sleeping issues too in general with ds not wanting to sleep alone. I get it, really I do, but we are squished if he sleeps with us and our babe, and his bed is too small for dh to sleep in comfortably. We are still trying to figure this one out! Mary

[newbymom05]

I'm having the same problem with my 4.5 y/o. He'll wake up crying and/or angry because he thinks he peed, but his pull-up will be dry. Then lots of angry crying insisting he did pee and tears all the way to the bathroom where he does pee.

Our baby is 1.5 and we've lived in this house his whole life, so those aren't the problem. He also doesn't want to sleep alone, even with the door open, lights on, etc.

Sleep issues are the bane of my existence, so I'm glad to read it may be a stage.

ETA He was sleeping alone for most of the night at 3 but 4 really seems to have brought more vivid fears. Currently, remembering the Grinch's cartoon smile (the ONE time he saw it) sends him over the edge. So one of us has to be w/ him, or he w/ us or no one sleeps.

[maryeb]

I had to say, since the topic is nighttime and pottying, I heard ds4 calling out for dh tonight so I went to take him to the bathroom since dh was working. I found him in our bathroom, calling out for dh with his eyes closed and he was facing the corner opposite the toilet. I was afraid he was gonig to pee in the corner, thankfully he didn't! Ha! It was kind of funny, but oh these nighttime issues. Feeling grateful we aren't alone with the fears our ds has about the dark, etc. I'm just going to sleep with the kids tonight and give dh a good nights rest.

[Masel]

Yesterday I put a cot in our room. I told DD1 she could start out there or move there if she got scared or felt lonely. She opted to start out in her room. Apparently she came in to our room once and asked DH to cuddle with her for a little while. He held her for a bit and she went back to sleep. I doubt that this is a permanent solution but it was good for one night's sleep.

Baby slept well too. This is what awake feels like. Wow.

[rzberrymom]

Do you take her to pee during the night? I take my DD to the bathroom when I go to bed or 3-4 hours after she falls asleep--she's often half asleep when I take her, but it really cuts down on the nightwaking.

[karemore]

My DD wet the bed when she had a bladder infection. She would cry and moan in her sleep too.

[aris99]

I don't really know or care who Dr. Greene is BUT my 4 yo dd has had episodes of "confusional arousal" (just means child-gets-crazed-look-on-face-after-seemingly-waking-up) and at the bottom of this link Dr. Greene has tied confusional arousal to potty training. He offers some pretty sensible suggestions...

Now I know your dd was already dry at night but is it possible that w/the upheavals of late she is maybe overtired and thus sleeping more deeply when she goes to bed and she's missing the cues that tell her she needs to use the bathroom?


http://www.drgreene.com/21_1148.html