Things you do to make you happy as SAHM

[Mamaluu]

My previous post talked about trying to manage as a SAHM. After that I decided to take time to take care of myself, do something that cheer me up, things that make me feel good and appreciate my life as a SAHM.

What would that be? What do you do? What activities or little things do you have "integrated" into your SAHM life that makes you feel good & happy? (things that you can do with a baby). I took a moment for that today and I didn't know what I'd do to feel great & in good spirit.

(constantly rushing trying to get things done, feed baby, feeling isolated from the world, etc is not the wonderful SAHM life I had imagined for myself)

As an example, I try to take walks with baby in the stroller (but I don't do it enough, not sure why... no time, kind of lazy sometimes...). Another thing I like is going to the bookstore with baby, check out books, hang out, and experience a different atmostphere (different from at home certainly). What else do you do that can be integrated into a life with a baby as a SAHM?

[Bokonon]

I love going to the zoo and SeaWorld with my kids (it's much easier with just the baby though!). I really enjoy getting out of the house, plus I love taking pictures of my kids in different settings. I get bored and a little depressed when I'm at home day after day, and DS and I have been to lots of touristy places since he was born!

[zinemama]

Going over to the home of another sahm (or having her come to mine) and hanging out for hours - those were my happiest hours as a sahm with a baby.

[Sk8ermaiden]

I go out all the time! ICAN, LLL, playgroup, shopping, window shopping, we get out a LOT.

[karemore]

I guess I was lucky because I love to read. That was the one thing I was always able to do with DD, even if it was only magazine articles or a few pages at a time, I always had fun and interesting reading materials around the house.

Playgroups! It was more about me than DD when she was younger. Sitting with other women who are going through the same things as you is a sanity saver.

It gets SO much easier with time. DD is 4 1/2 and life is completely different now. I am able to shop and cook better meals, I'm able to keep the house clean enough that it doesn't drive me crazy, we get out so much more, I'm able to volunteer more, go out for my own activities more, I have more time to take care of me, life is much easier now.

[Masel]

While it isn't exactly with my baby going to the Y helps me a lot. Exercise does not come naturally to me but since I got a late start start at motherhood it seems necessary to keep me around to see them grow. The improved mood and chance to talk with other adults are additional benefits. (As was the very nice thing my DH said about my...um.. figure.)

[mbhf]

Baking. Spending all day making a big meal and eating so much during the prep that I can't eat any of the actual meal. Tackling a big project. Rearranging the furniture. Having another SAHM over with her kids. Taking my kids out to lunch, or going to the coffee shop. Sometimes if I'm having a really bad day, just piling everyone in the car to go through the starbucks drivethrough is enough to turn everything around.

Do you have a good baby carrier?

[MamaMelis]

Yoga! Any sort of exercise, really. We have an amazing gym right around the corner for us with great childcare, mommy & me classes, kids classes galore, pools a cafe, etc that I spend part of almost every day at. Talking to other Moms is huge. Exercising and feeling good about myself is too. If a gym isnt an option jogging with your kids in a good jogging stroller is a great sanity saver too!

Playdates with friends. Keep me sane. I get together with a different friend once or twice a week.

My weekly playgroup. These girls have grown to be a huge part of my life over the past three years.

Library trips. The zoo, the park, the please touch museum.

Baking/cooking new things.

Writing cards to friends during naptime. Keeps me feeling connected.

Every wednesday night is date night for my husband and I. Its huge for us to get out and have a night as grown ups to chat without interruption, meet up with friends as a couple or whatever. Well worth the money spent on the sitter.

[Juvysen]

[AustinMom]

Personally, I loved spending time with baby, but I still need ME time. With no other person/living thing attached to me or dependent on me.

At night, i would ask hub to take baby for 30 min or so, so i could bubble bath and reed a nicholas sparks novel. Cheezy yes, but I tell ya, you add a glass of wine, or any other favorite drink, hot tea was always nice, and it's heaven. And, on top of that, upon getting in the bath, you can tell yourself 30 min of ALL ME. If hub is not up to it, do it after baby goes to bed.

I also sometimes did "namaste yoga" on fit TV. We dvred all of them, and I'd take 20 min or so to focus, regain composure, relax, and get some exercise in. That was always nice. I told hub, "this makes me nicer, you don't want me to be crabby do you?" We would laugh, and he understood. after all, it's just 20 min that would reset my next 24 hrs.

[earthgirl]

I agree with a lot of the pp- getting out a bit, baking. That all helps. But something we've started recently, and I'm sure this is going to sound cooky, is lighting a candle when the sun goes down. We say a little verse about letting light in and then DD and I sit on the couch together and either sing songs together (usually while I'm knitting) or read a couple of stories. It's just a very focused down time, I guess. And it's been very helpful when it comes to making dinner. Making dinner used to be crazy b/c more often than not DD's tired from skipping her nap and is really needy and I would be overly stressed. Our little evening ritual seems to have helped with that tremendously, though.

[Mama~Love]

I sew & knit. I'm not good at it, but it helps.

[mommariffic]

I love doing crafts. Setting out the messy box for moon sand, finger painting, or smearing shaving cream around for a bit with my 2 year old. I love love love stickers, and reading out loud, and doing little activities with her...and consequently going to raid the local craft store.

I also love going into nature. She can spend so much time examining a rock or putting sticks in a stream while I daydream or read beside her and it's our quiet, peaceful time.

And, I love taking her places. The aquarium, the museum etc...

[Mamaluu]

Thanks ladies, just reading your responses and imagining doing your little activities made me feel as if I was doing it and feeling good :-)

Many of you said to get out - I agree. I think I go crazy and depressed when staying at home all day. And by the time husband comes home at night, he is all tired & drained from the long day too so that just makes me even crappier that he isn't bringing in any excitement either.

Even though I know that getting out really helps me feel better, I think sometimes I'm just in a mode where I'm depressed, tired, lazy and don't want to get out, don't have the energy to get out, can't think of where to go and what to do, and too tired to be out there. Does that ever happen to you? What do you do then?

Friends/mommy groups, etc - That is something that I'm really missing. I'm totally new to being a SAHM, and in my existing circle I just don't know of any other SAHM with also a baby that is available to just hang out at each other's houses all day (well, more like one or twice a week). How do you suggest I find such a friend? What about mommy's group? How can I find a mommy's group/ playgroup near my neighborhood and with similar age kids?

Overall, I think getting out more might just be one of the solution for me. Now I just need to work on being excited & motivated to get out.....

[briansmama]

Originally Posted by MamaMelis

Yoga! Any sort of exercise, really. We have an amazing gym right around the corner for us with great childcare, mommy & me classes, kids classes galore, pools a cafe, etc that I spend part of almost every day at. Talking to other Moms is huge. Exercising and feeling good about myself is too.

This has been a lifesaver for me. I've been a SAHM now for 6 1/2 years and only recently did I join an excellent gym with a great kids program, and now, even with 2 dc, I am happy, usually sane, and loving my life so much more than I did when I had literally no break ever.

I can't recommend this enough. Yes, it costs $$, but I decided that I do a lot for my family and deserve a break. Plus, it's worth the cost because it's a clean, fun environment for my dc.

We also homeschool, so I consider this a cheaper alternative to preschool.

HTH!

[bcblondie]

I've picked up scrapbooking. The only downside is a project tends to overtake a room and if the baby wakes up you have to stash it all away again. So it feels like you just get everything out and you gotta put it away again. Unless you ahve a spare room.

I also sew. Totally amature stuff but it's fun.

I run when I can. But minus 40 makes it hard.

Swimming is fun with a babe, but we don't have tons of extra money for pool admission.

I go on walks with the baby when I can. If it's snowy we use the little sled. William loves it

[MamaMelis]

Originally Posted by Mamaluu

Friends/mommy groups, etc - That is something that I'm really missing. I'm totally new to being a SAHM, and in my existing circle I just don't know of any other SAHM with also a baby that is available to just hang out at each other's houses all day (well, more like one or twice a week). How do you suggest I find such a friend? What about mommy's group? How can I find a mommy's group/ playgroup near my neighborhood and with similar age kids?

.

We started our playgroup from a bunch of us who started chatting week after week at the nursing mothers group that the hospital where I delivered my first child at offered. It was great because we were all first time Moms, and all of our babies had been born within about 8 weeks of one another. We started it when the kids were only 3 months old (the "play" part of playgroup was just babies laying motionless on blankets or nursing the whole time while we ate and laughed ) If your hospital or midwife does not offer anything like that, maybe there is a LLL group you could join? I know that many of my friends participate in Mom's Club (which I think is a National organization), or MOPS, and have met lots of other women/mothers there. I have made friends at playgrounds, in classes, at my gym, or through other friends. Any organized classes (kindermusic, gymboree, little gym etc. would be another outlet), though some of them can be very expensive. Story times at the local public library are always free and are great fun. Join a book club?

[GoGoGirl]

For me, the most important thing is hanging out with other moms. I would go crazy if I didn't have other moms in my life. You can try LLL, Attachment Parenting International, Holistic Moms Network, and meetup.com. You can also just strike up conversations with other moms you see when you're out running errands. (It was hard to do at first, but it's getting easier!)

The other thing that's really helping my sanity is figuring out how to exercise with the baby. I live in an apartment building, so I've been putting DD on my back in a carrier and walking up and down all the stairs. I listen to my ipod (so I'm kind of ignoring her, but she falls asleep anyway) and it feels like being alone. I feel so much more like ME now that I'm working out every day.

Oh, and walks! We go for a walk every day, even if it's short. Just getting some fresh air really improves my mood.

[Juvysen]

I'm sad to admit this, but facebook and instant messanger. I can be "social" all day long without leaving my house

And of course, MDC

[BetsyS]

I only like small doses of social. Twice a week would make me a little crazy. LOL. I do a MOPS group that meets once a month (used to be in a different one that was twice a month, which was fine, too). I'm in a playgroup (through meetup.com) that we do stuff with twice a month or so. That's enough for me.

I purposefully plan at least one day a week when I'm home all day. It's when I do the major cleaning/chores/cook something all day. My fun, home-making stuff that recharges my soul.

For the day to day? I like to cook, to decorate, to sew, craft, to garden (a little), to well, all the homemaking stuff. I love that part of my life, and I'm glad I have more time to do it than when I was working. I'm also a huge fan of naps and baths and reading. Obviously, I'm very introverted, too.

For the occasional? Once every few months, I'll meet friends for dinner. I take cooking classes once a year or so. Twice a year (around my birthday in summer and Christmas), my mom and I take the day and shop child-less all day long. Lunch out, lots of interesting stores that aren't big enough for strollers--it's bliss. I run out to the grocery store (which I like) alone once a week or so, usually on Saturdays at naptime.

Once a week, I let my children skip naps so they'll have an early bedtime, I make some great food (or get take-out), and my dh and I have an at-home date night. It's really fun, and we look forward to it. We don't have the money for a sitter plus going out, so this works well for us.