or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › I know it not a big deal, but it bugs me...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I know it not a big deal, but it bugs me... - Page 3

post #41 of 90
Thread Starter 
I know I could ask for a menu for DS, but the hostess is usually long gone before I've got both me and DS seated, then we look up at everyone else with their menus, but there is just one left for DS and me to share . Then when the waitress comes around the whole rest of the family is ready to order except DS and I b/c we had to share.

I know that not every family needs menus for every member, but is it a big deal if the menu sits on the table unused?
post #42 of 90
I guess I've never had many of these problems. The vast majority of the time, if we're out to eat with the kids we're at a restaurant where they have kids' menus and crayons. Up until our youngest was flashing a mouth of pearly whites, the hostesses usually asked if we needed crayons for her. I would usually smile and make a light joke about her thinking that the crayons were the meal so we'd pass. I generally have a book in her diaper bag for her to read if she gets bored. Up until very recently, I would bring "toddler silverware" for her to use so she didn't poke her eye out with a regular fork.

I would much rather then ask, though, than just bring or not bring something out on an assumption.
post #43 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gillian28 View Post
I have had the opposite experience at restaurants! I often have waiters bringing my BABY a kids menu and crayons. He's almost one now but this has been going on for months! I feel like saying "All he is going to do is eat those crayons!" And he definitely doesn't need his own meal off the kids menu! And after they take our order they then ask if they can bring anything for him (and I can remember this happening once before he had even started solids!).

None of this bothers me of course, I just think it's funny
This.

I do sometimes have to ask for a kids menu at our favourite restaurant,as the regular menus are already at hte table, but the kids ones aren't. usually, my daughter can order wthout seeing the menu though.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
yep. I waited tables when I was in college. I had kids in my 30s. I didn't know anything about babies/ children when I was waiting tables!

We ate out a lot when our kids were small and I never once I had problem with wait staff, but I communicated what I wanted in a nice way, assuming that they:

1) wanted to make me happy so I would tip well
2) couldn't read my mind or know what would work best for my child(ren)

sometimes after a table is full of people, menus, drinks, etc it can be difficult to tell how many forks/napkins/etc are on the table. If you are missing something, just say so.

Honestly, the staff isn't trying to annoy you and if you ask nicely, they'll get you pretty much any thing you want (that they have in the resturant).

It was my experience that families are a pain to wait for -- their total is low for how much work is involved so the % tip is low for the effort. (when your child makes such a mess that the floor needs to be cleaned before any other patrons can get near the table, tip extra ).
I usually tip about 20%, more if my daughter makes a big mess, or it's REALLY busy. Unless the service is lousy, but that's rare.
post #44 of 90
My kids are 7, 7 and 5 - so if they gets a kids menu, I don't mind. But when I order them items from the adult menu, it makes about 90% of the waiters question if I really want that for them... YES! My kids do not eat those small portions and they don't want gross mac and cheese or a corn dog or whatever, they want steak, baked potato, or whatever is on my menu.

Anymore when we walk into a restaurant, I tell the host that we have 5 people in our party. They say "Two adults and three children?" and I say, "We'll just say five adults" and they get the idea. I want regular menus for the kids and they need their own chairs, not highchairs, lol.
post #45 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristaDJ
LOL, I think that sums up the attitude most of the moms are talking about here. A menu for a child is not an [I
extra[/I] menu, it's just a menu for everyone at the table.


Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
That's funny because pretty much the only way we can go out to dinner as a family is if ds gets his food first. He just doesn't have the patience to wait as long as the restaurants usually take. So we get his first. If he finishes before we do and is getting finicky, we might get him a small bowl of ice cream as desert
Yep. If children should get different treatment at all it should be that their meals should come first. Not so early that they are finished when the parents are starting, just if we ask for DD's meal to come with our entrees we mean it, if you decide we must be insane then don't be surprised if she goes psyhco from hunger while we wait
post #46 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmamapagan View Post
Yep. If children should get different treatment at all it should be that their meals should come first. Not so early that they are finished when the parents are starting, just if we ask for DD's meal to come with our entrees we mean it, if you decide we must be insane then don't be surprised if she goes psyhco from hunger while we wait
I just had to chuckle because in the US, entrees are the main dish, whereas in Australia we discovered they are the appetizer.

(And I am now craving some super yummy pizza and bubbly "lemonade" that we had while Down Under... But that's OT! And I realize the terminology may apply to other countries than AU. )
post #47 of 90
LOL really? I always knew you folks were backward (jk!). An appetizer here would more likely be a teeny platter of stuff before the entree, just a few mouthfuls at most.
post #48 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmamapagan View Post
LOL really? I always knew you folks were backward (jk!). An appetizer here would more likely be a teeny platter of stuff before the entree, just a few mouthfuls at most.
Yup, really! It was much fun to figure out the differences in lingo while we were there. Here you might have hors d'oeuvres as bite-size nibbles (but not generally with a meal, or at least the sit-down portion of it), and appetizers as a small course preceding the entree/main course. The etymology of it all is fascinating to me - how we have the same words for different concepts, yet in this case, so similar!
post #49 of 90
LOL you are ALL foreign crazies! I'm in the UK, my kids food comes with my STARTER, not my MAIN (course) and of course we all like lashings of dessert (or pudding in certain regions )
post #50 of 90
I have not faced a situation like this. I don't think they are old enough to pick what they want to eat.
post #51 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super_mommy View Post
I have not faced a situation like this. I don't think they are old enough to pick what they want to eat.
How old are you kids? My older dd could pick what she wanted when she was a toddler. My younger is still a baby and mostly breastfed so it isn't an issue.
post #52 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post
of course we all like lashings of dessert (or pudding in certain regions )
My DH is british and it after 15 years together it still drives me bonkers when he says something like "are we having cake for pudding?" or "Can we have jelly for pudding?"
post #53 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I know I could ask for a menu for DS, but the hostess is usually long gone before I've got both me and DS seated, then we look up at everyone else with their menus, but there is just one left for DS and me to share . Then when the waitress comes around the whole rest of the family is ready to order except DS and I b/c we had to share.

I know that not every family needs menus for every member, but is it a big deal if the menu sits on the table unused?
I would just start asking the hostess right when she is grabbing the menus before seating you. When she asks "how many?" just say "Four, and we need four menus" or however many. You'd better get used to doing that because from what I can tell, hostesses don't seem to assume a child wants a regular menu until they are 5th - 6th grade. My DD is 11.5 and is just now getting asked if she wants a regular menu. Of course, she is so picky, she usually likes ordering off the kids' menu! But we always have to ask for a menu for our 9.5 yo. Most hostesses will just give him a kids' one.
post #54 of 90
With all due respect to the former servers and hostesses here, I don't think it's uncommon for a 4-year-old to need a spoon, fork, and napkin. It's not an issue of now knowing how many are there. Either the silverware's on the table, in which case we've actually had hostesses start to remove place settings for the kids, or they're grabbing bundles when they go to seat us. Either way it's the assumption that children don't need their own items. When I order an appetizer, I expect there to be enough small plates for everyone at the table. That's not unusual or something I should have to ask to have happen.

Anything else I'm happy to say what we want or to answer a question. We often get asked if DC want their food first. They don't, and I'm fine with being asked. I am not fine, however, with the server assuming that and bringing their food first on their own. I don't always remember to say they want their food with us, but I shouldn't have to. The standard restaurant service is for all parties to get their food at the same time. I'm really just asking for my children to be treated the same as other customers.

On tipping, yes I think there are self-fulfilling prophecies on that. My husband was a server for 4 years. He's a *very* generous tipper, but he will start decreasing the tip the more we have to ask for our children.

One thing I do ask is that we are not seated next to the kitchen. I actually don't mind without the kids, but there's too much going on with people in and out to make it an enjoyable evening with small children.
post #55 of 90
What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.
post #56 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades View Post
With all due respect to the former servers and hostesses here, I don't think it's uncommon for a 4-year-old to need a spoon, fork, and napkin. It's not an issue of now knowing how many are there. Either the silverware's on the table, in which case we've actually had hostesses start to remove place settings for the kids, or they're grabbing bundles when they go to seat us. Either way it's the assumption that children don't need their own items. When I order an appetizer, I expect there to be enough small plates for everyone at the table. That's not unusual or something I should have to ask to have happen.

Anything else I'm happy to say what we want or to answer a question. We often get asked if DC want their food first. They don't, and I'm fine with being asked. I am not fine, however, with the server assuming that and bringing their food first on their own. I don't always remember to say they want their food with us, but I shouldn't have to. The standard restaurant service is for all parties to get their food at the same time. I'm really just asking for my children to be treated the same as other customers.

On tipping, yes I think there are self-fulfilling prophecies on that. My husband was a server for 4 years. He's a *very* generous tipper, but he will start decreasing the tip the more we have to ask for our children.

One thing I do ask is that we are not seated next to the kitchen. I actually don't mind without the kids, but there's too much going on with people in and out to make it an enjoyable evening with small children.



Amen to all of what Brandi said. Treat kids like people. I can understand not bringing a place setting for a 4-month old. But for a 4-year-old? Or an 8-year-old?
post #57 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindberg99 View Post
What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.
All types, except chains because we never eat at chains. It does seem to happen less frequently at more expensive (i.e. entrees that are $15+) restaurants, but we've encountered it at all types--ethnic restaurants of various kinds, pizza, diners, "nice" restaurants, etc.
post #58 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindberg99 View Post
What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.
mine is only a year old so we haven't faced this much, but i ahve eaten out with other kids, and i have never seen anyone take a kids silverware/not provide it. (not saying it doesnt happen, as there are plenty of PPs who have seen it, but just that i've never!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmamapagan View Post
LOL really? I always knew you folks were backward (jk!). An appetizer here would more likely be a teeny platter of stuff before the entree, just a few mouthfuls at most.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=entree
it seems that in this case, its the US that is backwards!
post #59 of 90
I've been waitressing for the past eight years while homeschooling my kids and going to school. I just wanted to respond to a few things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UberMama View Post
But when I order them items from the adult menu, it makes about 90% of the waiters question if I really want that for them... YES!
I'm sure this can be annoying and almost seems patronizing, but there is a reason for it. See, when a customer orders something and we (the waitstaff) don't field things properly, WE get in trouble for it. The kitchen manager/chef chews our behinds about not having clarified that the portion size is huge, or the buffalo wings are spicier than the norm, or whatever.

So if an individual orders a plate of ribs for their 5yo, yes, I will make mention that the entree is enormous and that most adults don't finish it. That way, a $20+ dish isn't wasted and I don't get chastised when the customer sees it and goes, "Oh, I didn't realize it was so big. Can we get something else, instead?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades View Post
With all due respect to the former servers and hostesses here, I don't think it's uncommon for a 4-year-old to need a spoon, fork, and napkin.
Napkin, yes. Spoons and forks are usually not used by the younger crowd, because they mostly order things like grilled cheese sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, and chicken strips....all of which are finger foods.

At my place of employment, the tables are always set before people sit down. So we spend more time removing place settings than we do bringing them. I always leave the place setting for young children, but most parents push the entire setting to the side, anyway, so their kid has a place to play or color.

And you would be surprised at how many people ignore the small plate they are provided and allow their children to eat bread/appetizers directly off the table. Actually, I've seen a large number of adults use their menus as bread plates (even though they have a bread plate) before I clear the menus away.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PreggieUBA2C View Post
I can imagine it being hard to wait for children to order when they don't want to or aren't ready. I think treating a child like a real person whose presence matters is still very important, and I think that is what bothers parents here- that the initial consideration isn't made.
Families are all different. Some parents are control freaks who will force their kids to do the ordering, others are control freaks who won't allow them to order. It can be difficult to read people....especially when it's busy and the turnover is fast-paced. I'm all for treating children as real people....it's usually the parents who get in the way of that. If I ask Junior what he'd like for dinner, and he says, "The double bbq bacon cheeseburger," most likely his parents will veto that and tell him what he's allowed to have....which wastes time. In a high volume restaurant, 30 seconds means a lot.

And if a kid is more focused on his Nintendo DS than on the menu, I assume the parents will order for him. I tend to ignore people who are paying close attention to their electronic gadgets, no matter what age they are. I aim to give excellent service and my time is valuable; I figure when people are ready to engage, they will put their devices away.
post #60 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
Actually, I've seen a large number of adults use their menus as bread plates (even though they have a bread plate) before I clear the menus away.
people astound me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post
I tend to ignore people who are paying close attention to their electronic gadgets, no matter what age they are.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › I know it not a big deal, but it bugs me...