I had a pretty traumatic (psychologically, with a hard recovery) first birth with DS. It was a birth center transfer ending in a c-section.
A good friend of mine is having her first and is due at the same time I am. Her OB is scaring the crap out of her at every one of her appointments. She trusts everything this OB says, and has done very limited research on birth - lots on baby accessories, but not much on birth - and what research she has done is all books recommended by her OB which are outdated and have incorrect information and are downright scary. I have been trying to kindly recommend books that normalize birth, because she is truly as low-risk as you can get.
I just found out that she's planning on scheduling a c-section, probably before her due date (if I remember correctly, she wants the baby born early so that her kids - the other two by adoption - can all have different birth months).
I am fully supportive of whatever choice she wants to make, but I'm finding it harder to be around her with the choices she's making. Not because I think they're wrong (I've had lots of friends who have chosen a c-section and it hasn't bothered me before), but because it's triggering lots of terrifying memories of recovering from my c-section with DS and the resulting PPD and battle we had establishing breastfeeding.
I just don't know what to do - I'm finding it more and more difficult to even think about her being pregnant, let alone talk to her about pregnancy, because it's so triggering.
ETA: I just wanted to clarify: this isn't one of those "I wish my friend would wise up" threads. It's about what I can do to stop having those crazy triggering thoughts every time I think about her being pregnant and going through a c-section. I truly believe that she has a right to the birth she wants, whatever that birth is.
x-posted in Healing Birth Trauma
A good friend of mine is having her first and is due at the same time I am. Her OB is scaring the crap out of her at every one of her appointments. She trusts everything this OB says, and has done very limited research on birth - lots on baby accessories, but not much on birth - and what research she has done is all books recommended by her OB which are outdated and have incorrect information and are downright scary. I have been trying to kindly recommend books that normalize birth, because she is truly as low-risk as you can get.
I just found out that she's planning on scheduling a c-section, probably before her due date (if I remember correctly, she wants the baby born early so that her kids - the other two by adoption - can all have different birth months).
I am fully supportive of whatever choice she wants to make, but I'm finding it harder to be around her with the choices she's making. Not because I think they're wrong (I've had lots of friends who have chosen a c-section and it hasn't bothered me before), but because it's triggering lots of terrifying memories of recovering from my c-section with DS and the resulting PPD and battle we had establishing breastfeeding.
I just don't know what to do - I'm finding it more and more difficult to even think about her being pregnant, let alone talk to her about pregnancy, because it's so triggering.
ETA: I just wanted to clarify: this isn't one of those "I wish my friend would wise up" threads. It's about what I can do to stop having those crazy triggering thoughts every time I think about her being pregnant and going through a c-section. I truly believe that she has a right to the birth she wants, whatever that birth is.
x-posted in Healing Birth Trauma
I would end up crying every time we hung out. I hope you can find a better solution.
