Waiting to Adopt NON DDC ~ January 2010 - Page 2

[leahcar]

We're matched to a 9-year-old girl in Texas (we're in Florida)! Waiting for the ICPC process, etc. so we can meet her!

[BeckC]

Originally Posted by tiffani

Still waiting on USCIS. hit a potential snag with NZ immigration, but hoping it will be resolved before we go. could be nothing, could be a serious obstacle. sigh.

Oh I hope that gets worked out quickly.

Originally Posted by mamadebug

I hope it's OK if I jump in here now! We have been on this journey, with a lot of stops and starts, for quite a while now. I hadn't joined in before because it felt like a lot of waiting and uncertainty, and honestly began to feel more like a paperwork process than anything, and so I backed off the adoption part of MDC for a while. But, it feels like we are through that and I am ready to jump back in here!

We actually met with a pregnant couple last week! It was the first time we had done that, and despite being really nervous, it went really well. They had narrowed it down our family and one other. At this point, they have met with both families and are making their decision. The waiting is hard, and while obviously we do want the parents to choose the adoptive parents that they really want, we can't help hope that it is us! So, now we check our email constantly and jump at every phone call!

Oh that's so exciting! I'm glad the meeting went well. I'm crossing my fingers for you too.

Originally Posted by leahcar

We're matched to a 9-year-old girl in Texas (we're in Florida)! Waiting for the ICPC process, etc. so we can meet her!

Yay! When do they think you'll be able to go meet her? I'm confused why they need ICPC approval for you to go meet her? Or will you be meeting her and bringing her home at the same time?

[BeckC]

So I have a small update for us. We've been getting monthly updates from our social worker, but they're not really an update of anything. Like December's update was "Happy Holidays, see you next year!" She did make it clear that we can call at any time though, so yesterday I did.

Our agency uses a waiting list, going by how long you've been waiting. It serves two purposes. One is that it tells you how things are moving along. As you move up the list, you can kind of get a feel for how things are going - if there have been placements, if people are getting matched, etc. The other purpose is to group PAPs into batches of 6 profiles to send out to eparents. The six longest waiting go first, then if/when emom wants to see more profiles, the next six go out and so on. Our sw said that they do this to not overwhelm the emoms with umpteen profiles at once, although most of them do end up asking to see more.

So yesterday I asked where we are on the list. We've moved, but we haven't. In July we were number 10 (last) on the list. There were 2 PAPs who were matched, and if their matches fell through, then they would go back on the list and we would be bumped back to number 12. Well I guess that happened. So we were bumped back, but now we're up to 9 or 10 again. So things are moving, albeit slowly.

She also said that our profile has been shown three times this month. One of the emoms chose a profile already (not ours obviously lol) and the other two haven't decided anything yet. One of the emoms is due in April, the other is only like 3 mos along so has a ton of time to make a lot of decisions.

Anyway, I'm not thrilled with our update, but I'm glad to hear that things are happening, even if much slower than I'd wished for.

[tiffani]

Originally Posted by leahcar

We're matched to a 9-year-old girl in Texas (we're in Florida)! Waiting for the ICPC process, etc. so we can meet her!

wow, congratulations! can't wait to hear the update!

and BeckC, , waiting to be picked must be so hard!!

[lamamax3]

Leahcar, that's great news!

We're still waiting over here, although I'm not sure if a one in a million chance is something you can really "wait" for. I know that the agency is working with an emom who is due in March, so she will be looking at profiles in the next week or so. If you guys have any good vibes you would like to send our way about that, please do!

I am beginning to plan a shower for my sister. I realized the other night that she might be in jail on the date I picked (long story...) because she has a trial date next month. Oh, the horrific irony of waiting for a baby coming from troubled circumstances, while planning a shower to celebrate the birth of just such a baby!!! Life sure is interesting.

[ladycop79]

Hello! I posted on this thread last year but dropped off when the holidays and life got pretty busy

I have come back to ask a question from the people who may be able to give me some advice...

Back store: we ultimately wish to adopt from foster care but NC does not have a program specifically for this and requires you to be foster parents first and then will complete an adoption home study a)after you have been with them awhile or b)your foster placement becomes free for adoption while in your care. We have completed our MAPP class except for 1 class apiece for DH and I (they initially told us that missing one would be okay but then changed it to that they would do a Saturday make up class directly after the 10 weeks...) We have completed the home study and only have one "final" check up visit required. We have been told the MAPP make up class will now by 2/27 (instead of in Dec '09 like initially said) but our SW has told us that "they" are not doing home studies right now because they are "too busy." The back ground in this SW is that she has stunk from the start. She was assigned to us in the 1st week of November of last year and was supposed to call us within 7 days. She did not call us until two weeks before Christmas after I left her messages and finally called a supervisor to see if we were moved, by chance, to another SW. She has failed to show for FOUR appointments with no phone call at all. When she DID come, she has never been earlier than 2 hours late. (With my military husband having to take leave to be home...) She actually HAD our last home study check scheduled and failed to show. I called her and she didn't call back for TWO days.

After being told that "they" weren't finishing or doing home studies right now, I read an article written by the foster care supervisor in the local paper about how short they were on FP's and who desperate she was for people to apply...I called her and she said that they most certainly WERE doing home studies and were concentrating on finalizing the people from the last MAPP class (our class.) I called my SW to ask about this and I have not gotten a call back (it has been a week...) I called a state private agency that said that they could license us but we would have to complete the homestudy again...I KNOW that I have to wait till the MAPP make up class on 2/27 ANYWAY but, in the meantime, I would like to (and the FC supervisor agrees...) have the home study finished so it could all be sent up to the state after the make up class...

What should I do about the SW? If I request a new one, will I be biting the hand that feeds me? And even if we choose to get licensed by the private agency, the SAME SW would be placing children with us due to where we live...I have been overly patient (in how I act, not how I feel!) and being nice even though I know that the SW has lied to be on occasion, doesn't show up and doesn't call back. They specifically placed us with her because a) she is in charged of our area but is also the "permanancy placement" licensing worker for adoption.

If you have made it this far, thank you and big hugs! Any advice and thoughts? What should I do?? Thanks in advance!

[Marcimama]

I just want to say that this thread has encouraged me greatly... that is happens...

We had decided to start the process this summer/fall for an Ethiopian adoption. We hoped to adopt a toddler... but have run into some problems with my dh's work... we may be moving on. My dh would need to finish his grad studies and we'd be all over the place for about a year. That would pause our adoption plan and postpone it probably 2 years. I can live with that, but after getting my hopes up, it is disappointing. I know that things like this work for good in the end, but for now it is good to share in your joy and to see the process unfold for you all!

[christophersmom]

Ladycop, wow is all I can say. I thought the process was long enough and our SW was decently quick. It took us 13 months to get licensed, but 10 from the start of MAPP and we are in NC (although we did find out in the 11th month ). It takes 30 business days once the paperwork goes to state. That was frustrating, but at least we went to the state within a month of completing the last homestudy. I wish I had some advice for you. I think maybe call the supervising worker. We did miss one MAPP class, can't remember why, I think we went out of town for Spring Break or something and did not need to make it up. There were however two of the nine that were mandatory that you couldn't miss and it wasn't one of those. Good luck! I wish you the best!