Non-electronic-gaming families

[velochic]

I read so much here about computer games, etc. that I sometimes begin to wonder if we're the only family in America that is completely video game-free.

Dh and I did not grow up playing them and dd (almost 8) has no interest in them. We don't have any gaming systems, have no desire to buy them and can't really see the attraction of them. My mom, who lives with us, plays Solitaire on her computer because it's easier on her hands but otherwise, no games on any electronic device.

We play a lot of board games and some card games. We enjoy puzzles and crosswords. We read a lot.

I've noticed that when dd has friends over, they get bored VERY quickly when dd tries to engage them in board games. I wonder if this is a by-product of the fast pace of video games.

Thoughts? If you are not a gaming family, is it intentional or just a lack of interest? In our case, it's a lack of interest.

[MamaMelis]

I'm with you Mama. Now, my kids are only 3 and 2, but DH and I are video game free people as well, and plan to remain that way, intentionally.

My inlaws kids can't seem to go anywhere (grandparents house, the car, swim meets, etc etc) without some sort of simple OR elaborate gaming thing in hand, and it really turns me off. To each their own, but I hope that my family can remain free of the chains of the need for constant electronic stimulation.

[velochic]

Your post, MamaMelis, reminds me that we also don't have video/video games in our minivan and that's another thing that some of dd's friends have commented on. We do listen to books on tape/CD, but even that doesn't seem "stimulating" enough for some of dd's friends. Even if I start the CD over from the beginning so they aren't "lost" with the story. I had one that said they would never ride in our van again if we didn't have at least a movie because just riding is "boring". Again, it's the boredom factor.

[Bellabaz]

For us its also lack of interest. I am also not a fan of how addicting they seem to be. I know several kids who, once they have video games, will play for hours instead of going outside to run around or reading a book. I never played them growing up, never owned any and have never really lived playing them the few times I have tried (except Wii sports, which I found fun). Dh used to play computer games but nothing fancy. Our lo are still too young now to care but I have no intention of buying any gaming systems any time soon. Plus they are crazy expensive imo. So you are not alone.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by velochic

Your post, MamaMelis, reminds me that we also don't have video/video games in our minivan and that's another thing that some of dd's friends have commented on. We do listen to books on tape/CD, but even that doesn't seem "stimulating" enough for some of dd's friends. Even if I start the CD over from the beginning so they aren't "lost" with the story. I had one that said they would never ride in our van again if we didn't have at least a movie because just riding is "boring". Again, it's the boredom factor.

I don't limit gaming or dvd watching at all and Ds loves computer games. But they aren't something he does when there are other kids around. It's something to do when he doesn't have a playmate. He's learned to turn off the tv (which he likes for background noise) because other kids get sucked in and stop interacting. We don't have anything for the car (just a radio; no CDs, DVDs, or personal game system) and ds is a good car traveler despite giving the appearance of being very plugged in. If dh is along, they have great conversations. Ds wouldn't mind a dvd player for serious all day car travel and would use a nintendo ds or something if he had one. But, again, it would be a scenario where he doesn't have a real playmate since we never seem to drive other kids places.

I'm sure some of what you are describing is habit but temperament and personality are pretty big. I don't think it is quite as simple as kids who have those things get used to them and can't live without them. Maybe the quality of the friendships are lacking if the kids are bored when they are together. Possibly there is something to do with girl socialness (pressure to be social or in a group?) that boys don't run into as much. If ds doesn't have fun with a kid, he doesn't hang out with him. He would rather stay home and play computer games than hang out with someone whose company and interactions he doesn't enjoy. But he'd drop gaming like a hot potato to spend time with someone fun.

As an aside, I hate board games and I've never found video games appealing. Ds doesn't like board games, either. It is partially the pace but it is also the sitting. He does like chess, though... I think not liking board games could be a separate issue.

[betsyj]

I think it is a lack of limits rather then the game or system.

Also, I am not a huge fan of board games and never have been, even as a child. And I grew up long before most (or any) kids had any kind of gaming system.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by 4evermom

I don't think it is quite as simple as kids who have those things get used to them and can't live without them. Maybe the quality of the friendships are lacking if the kids are bored when they are together. Possibly there is something to do with girl socialness (pressure to be social or in a group?) that boys don't run into as much.

I don't think that the quality of friendship has anything to do with it. At 7/8 years old, all going to the same very academic school, most of these kids have something in common. Dd doesn't just play with girls, we have boys over and dd visits their homes as well so it has nothing to do with gender, IMO, either. What is interesting is that we have no interest whatsoever in electronic gaming, and so many others do. That's all I am saying.

[sunnmama]

We don't have any gaming systems. We LOVE board games and card games

Dd does play games on the computer occasionally, but not even every week. It just isn't her thing. She does like to use the computer for other things, though. I like to play Bejeweled blitz on facebook quite a lot .

Car trips are old school: music and looking out the window counting cows (ok, we have an MP3 player now...that's modern )

Dd does play video games at some friends's and relatives' homes, and she enjoys them for a bit. She is actually really good at guitar hero (better than the kids who own the game and have much more opportunity to practice). So, we bought her an actual guitar for Christmas, and are soon to begin lessons

She has free range access to guitar hero at my sister's house (my sister has no children), and she really gets her fill there. By the end of a visit, she's tired of it. I asked her (out of curiosity...not because I was planning on buying it!) if she thought she'd enjoy owning a game system, and she said "No, because it gets boring".

For a point of comparison, we could play Apple to Apples every day and never get bored!

[karne]

We used to have absolutely zero media, now we have media, so we've been on both sides of the issue here. My kids have, w/in the past year, received hand held games (ds lites). For dd, it's a fun, sometimes activity. Ds tends to become much more absorbed in the games. I think it's personality. However, like a pp, my kids wouldn't give playing w/a friend for a video game. They might choose not to pursue a relationship wsomeone they don't care for or have much in common with, but other than that, real relationships take center stage.

FWIW, we don't have a media player in our car, and we cart friends around all the time. I have never, ever, had a child complain. They're too busy laughing and talking to notice. And, the kids who tend to be the most media obsessed, that we know, are the ones who have no media at home.

We love, love board games as well! We play a board game, or card game, together almost every night!

[BetsyS]

We don't have video games, but it's cause I can't stand them. My brother played growing up, but I was never interested.

I don't like board games or card games, either. It's just not fun (to me) to be in a competitive state like that.

We'll see what happens when my boys are old enough to ask for them (they are only 1 and 3).

[velochic]

Originally Posted by karne

FWIW, we don't have a media player in our car, and we cart friends around all the time. I have never, ever, had a child complain. They're too busy laughing and talking to notice. And, the kids who tend to be the most media obsessed, that we know, are the ones who have no media at home.

I wonder if part of the reason other kids get bored in the car is because we live almost an hour away from school. When we bring kids to our house or take them home that hour-long trip may seem very boring to them, but dd does it twice a day every weekday, so she's used to it. She likes to snooze in the morning, but in the afternoon, it gives her a chance to get all of her homework done so she can play as soon as she gets home. Perhaps it's the necessity of filling a lot of time, which is good practice for patience.

[EarthyMamaofDaisy]

I have a firm "no video games" rule for my house. All of the kids in DH's family are little video game/TV addicts. They have no imagination and get bored very easily. I've also noticed that a lot of little kids don't color anymore. I often pick up stuff from the free table at the dump and it is astounding how many coloring books are left there that haven't even been colored in. My kids (2 and 4) do lots of pretending and art projects. I'm a little nervous for DD to go to kindergarten in the fall and be exposed to Disney and Hannah Montana and all that other stuff.

[Linda on the move]

Our Wii is the first game system we've ever had, and we didn't get it until the kids were 10 and 12. My kids weren't interested in one until then.

We love board games and puzzles and Saturday nights (if we are home) is family game night.

My DDs peers (middle school girls) do tend to play board games, but they are games about shopping, fashion, and books and movies they like. One of my DDs is really into chess and she doesn't know any girls who play, only boys.

When my DDs were about your DD's age, their male friends tended to like to play lego when they came over.

[josie423]

We have no game systems here! We don't have a TV in fact. I grew up with a TV and I love that we don't have one. I know we'd probably be in front of it way to much if we had one. No computer games here either.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by EarthyMamaofDaisy

I have a firm "no video games" rule for my house. All of the kids in DH's family are little video game/TV addicts. They have no imagination and get bored very easily. I've also noticed that a lot of little kids don't color anymore. I often pick up stuff from the free table at the dump and it is astounding how many coloring books are left there that haven't even been colored in. My kids (2 and 4) do lots of pretending and art projects. I'm a little nervous for DD to go to kindergarten in the fall and be exposed to Disney and Hannah Montana and all that other stuff.

I have a niece whose marriage ended because of HER video gaming addiction. This has not had any influence on us in any way because we simply lack interest, but I do know that video games can and do destroy lives. I suppose anything can, though if taken to the "Nth Degree".

I wouldn't worry about the school influence. This is just from my own personal experience, but dd has never been influenced by that. She does know the names of Disney characters, but she doesn't express interest in watching the shows. She did ask to watch Aladdin about a year ago, so I rented it and let her watch it a few times over a weekend. Then she was fine to let it go. The other day she told me that all of her friends are reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I work in a library and we'd already discussed the book last year... dd saw it for what it was... she said, "Mommy, they're reading it just because it's a fad. Not because they really want to read it." So, I think keeping dialog open is important and the values will follow right along.

[potatocraft]

We do have a ds lite....but I don't know where it is. It was actually my birthday present a few years ago, but I haven't played it in ages. My dh gave it to me so I could play Mario old school. And it was fun, but then it was borring and we didn't get any other games or anything. Dh does play some computer games at night sometimes, but maybe 1 or 2 night a week for a few hours. His computer is in my craft room so he comes in and plays so we can spend time together.
We do play board games a few nights a week. We just got Carrcassone for christmas and it is a great game. Fynn is still too young for board games but he did get a great bug catching puzzle game that is put out by melissa and doug for christmas. And we make up games with his toys all the time. He also got the stacking wooden train, and that is super fun too. He got a vtech computer that has a ton of games on it, but he is still too little to play any of the games on it by himself. So sometimes we will use it with him, mostly he just likes to press the buttons and play the music game on there to hear the different sounds.
We do usually have a movie running or music on durring the day for background noise. He tunes it out mostly unless it is a movie that he hasn't seen for a while and we are sitting together on the couch watching it. But mostly we just have some music going.
And as for the car, it does have a cd player and a radio. And if we are going on long trips we take a mp3 player and listen to books or podcasts. But no, a car is not the right place for a movie or a tv.

[Bluegoat]

We won't be having any video game systems - I don't like how important they become, especially to little boys. They seem to become all consuming, and I find myself wondering about their little brains.

We do have a computer, and dd, 5, occasionally plays the games on the kid's CBC. Not enough for us to have any rules about it. If we need some as time goes on we'll get them.

For whatever reason, I don't find games on the computer seem quite as addictive to kids. (Though dh likes Call of Duty and I occasionally play a Sim-type game.)

I have been letting them watch more tv than usual lately - and would like to cut back. We are going to be moving in the near future so I am looking at making the tv less accecible, maybe on a cart in a closet, or maybe even in my bedroom. Since I'm about to pop out a new baby any day, my energy level for making changes is a bit low at the moment (and honestly I suspect I may want the tv's distracting abilities for a few weeks.)

[lonegirl]

We love both! We have an Xbox 360, Wii, each of us has a Nintendo DS, Tyr has a Leapster and Games on his laptop (my old one). Plus we have a wall sized cabinet filled with board games. Friday night is game night....we host a dinner and game night with our friends. We spend the night playing board/card/or RPG games. Tyr loves both...the thing with video games is that he can play games by himself...but he loves his Hungry Hippo, Super Why board game, Uno Moo....you name it if we could play all day with him he would.
He is better at most video games than many adults I know. He loves Dance Dance Revoultion....and boy does this get you moving. Same as the Wii....it is very active. He also loves quiet time with the Itouch or DS....it relaxes him...with his Leapster and games on the Itouch he loves writing words...he can read many, many words and write words that you spell out for him....he is 3! I attribute this to a combination of us and his game systems. His hand-eye coordination is spectacular!! He rocks out on Rock Band with either the guitar or drums and plays a easy-med and gets 60+% (I play at easy-med. He also has a real drum set and guitar....sometimes I prefer Rock band because it has volume control
We do have DVDs in the car when we travel...but the rules are that we have to be travelling for a while, they do not go on the second we sit in the car.

So I think that every child is different. He is an active, happy, imaginative 3 y/o in every sense....he is well rounded, socializes well, is great in quiet public settings...you name it. He has 2 cousins (brothers) who are 6 months older and 11months younger....they have no game systems....they are loud, rambunctious and in your face when they play (this freaks Tyr out a bit)...so really I think it is important to have a healthy mix of stimultion.

[limabean]

We didn't have any until we got a DS for the whole family for Christmas. I'm really the only one who plays it though, and that doesn't happen very often. I don't think I would be taken seriously if I called myself a "gamer" because I play on a DS once a week or so.

Anyway, up until recently we didn't have any gaming systems, but I didn't attach a value to it the way you seem to. I haven't come across any kids who don't enjoy playing with friends without video games or don't enjoy board games.

[gcgirl]

I agree with the PP about the lack of limits. It's not the games themselves. I have very fond memories of playing video games with my siblings and family. It was a very social event because two people can play at once and we all took turns. There was no lack of conversation or anything. Even today (well, not so much since we have a toddler, and probably not for a few more years at least, lol), DH and I prefer to network our computer games and play together in the same room. It's still totally social.

So there's another side to it. But there's also no harm or foul in NOT having video games.

ETA: DH and I do have plans for a family night when the kids are older: no electronics will be permitted. So I have SOME sympathy for the no vids POV.