Kailey's Mom, you are right; she's totally like a sponge or emotional antenna---she gets very off-kilter if anyone else is on edge or conflicted.
I am so glad you replied as an adult who felt similar to my dd as a child. Can I ask if you ever were formally "diagnosed" or went through counseling or anything and what your take is on that? Do you feel like it would've further isolated you or made you feel singled out more to have an adult/adults talking about how you were different?
I was very sensitive/mature/gifted as a child, and never was in counseling, but was in gifted programs at school. I remember liking the classes but yeah feeling a little more isolated from the majority because I was just way ahead of the main class all of the time. We homeschool for now, so the gifted thing isn't as obvious to her. But I think if we were going to therapy or smth she might feel even more anxious about being different?
I appreciate your perspective from the grown-up side. If you were my kid, is there anything else you could tell me to help little kid you?
I am trying to be very understanding of her. I really, really want us to have a good relationship forever! I don't want her to lose trust in me or feel overwhelmed that I'm not responding how she needs me to.
I had absolutily no diagnoses until I was 14 yrs old. As a child, I wouldn't have been shocked if I had a diagnosis, I knew i was different.
I am SO happy that you are homeschooling her
When I was a child, and I would get on a "oh no, we're broke" episode.. my mom would assure me that she had lump sum of money in a savings account, and not to worry. She made it a point NEVER to do the bills in my presence, or leave her checkbook laying around. It wasn't until I was an adult, when I found out there was NEVER a lump sum I'm not mad my mom lied, because it was to protect me from worrying *more than she was* Saying things like "it's none of your business, or you don't have to worry about this" would have made me worry more. So, in my case, I don't think lying was a bad thing. It's the only thing that would have worked, and did
Addressing the anxiety is HUGE!!! if you can find a way to help your dd not feel so much anxiety, wow! there are numerous approaches to this, so whatever works..do it.
The bad news is that your not going to be able to make "her perfect world" happen. My guess it that every change, you are going to face some upset from your dd. Whenever anyone in the family feels anything other than happy.. there may be an issue. If the routine changes, your dd may not feel comfortable.. I wish I knew how to make that part easy. Telling your dd that it will be okay, and lots of hugs like you are already doing is the best. Hugs!